You Should Have Seen That Coming
A surprising clapback.41 total reviews
Comment from karenina
Ouch! Well, way to break a coworker of an annoying habit--for sure! I enjoyed your comfortable, a!most chatty style. It drew me in. Thanks for the chuckle!
Karenina
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2021
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Ouch! Well, way to break a coworker of an annoying habit--for sure! I enjoyed your comfortable, a!most chatty style. It drew me in. Thanks for the chuckle!
Karenina
Comment Written 16-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2021
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Thank you Karenina. I have seen your name frequently in posts from other writers here. I feel blessed by your review comments.
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I just rectified the problem and became a fan of yours! Officially! Not sure how I didn't do that sooner...
Karenina
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Does not matter, You are welcome at any time. Thank you.
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Thanks!
Karenina
Comment from Cindy Decker 2
Hi, Nomi. I hope you are well!
I really like your irony in this story. Your punctuation and grammar are really good, and the story has a sardonic ending. I like the way you get your point across.
Best wishes, Nomi, with all your writing. I hope your days are filled with happiness and contentment.
I'm feeling good because autumn is here. : )
Have a blessed weekend.
Your friend always,
Cindy
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2021
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Hi, Nomi. I hope you are well!
I really like your irony in this story. Your punctuation and grammar are really good, and the story has a sardonic ending. I like the way you get your point across.
Best wishes, Nomi, with all your writing. I hope your days are filled with happiness and contentment.
I'm feeling good because autumn is here. : )
Have a blessed weekend.
Your friend always,
Cindy
Comment Written 16-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2021
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Thank you Cindy. With review comments like yours, I will
never, ever consider leaving this site. I so appreciate you kindness, may God bless and keep you forever.
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God bless you, Nomi. : )
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Very clever tale about someone who used the same tiresome line, repeatedly and without compassion, when responding to any troublesome situation his coworker encountered. When the tables were turned, the coworker had the perfect opportunity to give this man a taste of his own unpleasant medicine!
Some minor suggestions for revisions:
You Should Have Seen That Coming
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You Should Have Seen that Coming
Day after day, conversation after conservation. Billy would always respond ...
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Day after day, conversation after conversation, Billy would always respond ...
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We should be careful how we respond, when others need a little empathy. We may eventually be on the receiving end!
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2021
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Very clever tale about someone who used the same tiresome line, repeatedly and without compassion, when responding to any troublesome situation his coworker encountered. When the tables were turned, the coworker had the perfect opportunity to give this man a taste of his own unpleasant medicine!
Some minor suggestions for revisions:
You Should Have Seen That Coming
-->
You Should Have Seen that Coming
Day after day, conversation after conservation. Billy would always respond ...
-->
Day after day, conversation after conversation, Billy would always respond ...
***
We should be careful how we respond, when others need a little empathy. We may eventually be on the receiving end!
Comment Written 15-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2021
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Bingo! I appreciate your helpful comments and your wonderful support. Thank you very much.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
You have written a good story about a thing that can be so irritating. Billy gave Arthur a chance to let him know how it felt to hear it all the time. Very amusing. Had a friend who constantly said "I liked to have died," to everything. You story would be a little easier to read if you used some paragraphs. Good writing.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2021
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You have written a good story about a thing that can be so irritating. Billy gave Arthur a chance to let him know how it felt to hear it all the time. Very amusing. Had a friend who constantly said "I liked to have died," to everything. You story would be a little easier to read if you used some paragraphs. Good writing.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2021
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Thank you Carol. In my defense, I mostly write poems so I do not get much practice in writing stories. I will try to get better at them both in time, hopefully
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Hopefully Arthur's payback made an impression in the right way on Billy and he quit with that flimsy reply. I enjoyed your little story. You led up to that last line well. Your lines have good pacing and imagery.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2021
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Hopefully Arthur's payback made an impression in the right way on Billy and he quit with that flimsy reply. I enjoyed your little story. You led up to that last line well. Your lines have good pacing and imagery.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 15-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2021
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Thank you Jan.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Touche! Brilliant punchline--payback's a bitch! So true about thoughtless catchphrases, especially those insensitive, simplistic platitudes uttered to the bereaved. Fine work! Masterful set-up for the punch to the gut.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2021
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Touche! Brilliant punchline--payback's a bitch! So true about thoughtless catchphrases, especially those insensitive, simplistic platitudes uttered to the bereaved. Fine work! Masterful set-up for the punch to the gut.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2021
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Thank you, it is something I would love to do to someone at some point in time.
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I hope you get the opportunity!
Comment from Raul1
This is a well written story. Billy has saw it coming to him, because Arthur told him to be aware of it. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. I have enjoyed your story. Thank you for sharing!
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2021
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This is a well written story. Billy has saw it coming to him, because Arthur told him to be aware of it. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. I have enjoyed your story. Thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 15-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2021
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Thank you for your review.
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You're welcome.
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Oh my God, that is mean! I know we get tired of the same old responses and all but that was pushing the limit as far as I am concerned.
The story was well told, I believe, yet I am not in agreement with the choice of what Arthur decided to do. I want to be clear about something...I am just being honest with you.
I know you want the truth so here it is from me.
Please, understand I mean no offense, my friend.
Have a wonderful day anyway,
Jesse
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2021
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Oh my God, that is mean! I know we get tired of the same old responses and all but that was pushing the limit as far as I am concerned.
The story was well told, I believe, yet I am not in agreement with the choice of what Arthur decided to do. I want to be clear about something...I am just being honest with you.
I know you want the truth so here it is from me.
Please, understand I mean no offense, my friend.
Have a wonderful day anyway,
Jesse
Comment Written 15-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2021
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I am in no way offended by your comments. Your feelings are honest and plainly stated. I never expected everyone to see anything I write in the same way. To expect anything else would be foolish. I appreciate your thoughts.
Comment from Mary Vigasin
Payback at times can be very sweet! Well done in showing that using a certain word or phrase constantly no matter what the subject can be grating and irrating.
Very clever and creative in writing this story.
Regards,
Mary
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reply by the author on 15-Oct-2021
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Payback at times can be very sweet! Well done in showing that using a certain word or phrase constantly no matter what the subject can be grating and irrating.
Very clever and creative in writing this story.
Regards,
Mary
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2021
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Thank you Mary. I appreciate your comments.
Comment from Daylok
This is brilliant! What in your face back at you ironic story!! it flowed nicely and read well. Point is very clear!! I laughed my ass off at the end!!
Nicely done.
~Daylok
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2021
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This is brilliant! What in your face back at you ironic story!! it flowed nicely and read well. Point is very clear!! I laughed my ass off at the end!!
Nicely done.
~Daylok
Comment Written 15-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2021
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Thanks man. I appreciate you.