The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 82 "An Explosive Situation"A Novel
32 total reviews
Comment from Pantygynt
That "Insha'Allah," took me back to my time in Aden. I don't think I have heard it uttered since the 1960s. This episode fell into three neet portions. First the business of the salwar kameez worn by Helen. This was an excellent piece of descriptive writing, brought alive by helen's playful exit.
Next we had the explosion and the frenetic action scenes that were its immediate aftermath, excellent 'showing' in this section as there was too in the final dialogue with Rasheed in the taxi who fills a role here similar to Shakespeare's use of clowns in his plays. One feels that Rasheed is something more than simple comic relief.
I really do wish I had a six left for this chapter.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2019
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That "Insha'Allah," took me back to my time in Aden. I don't think I have heard it uttered since the 1960s. This episode fell into three neet portions. First the business of the salwar kameez worn by Helen. This was an excellent piece of descriptive writing, brought alive by helen's playful exit.
Next we had the explosion and the frenetic action scenes that were its immediate aftermath, excellent 'showing' in this section as there was too in the final dialogue with Rasheed in the taxi who fills a role here similar to Shakespeare's use of clowns in his plays. One feels that Rasheed is something more than simple comic relief.
I really do wish I had a six left for this chapter.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2019
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I appreciate you comments, Jim. I felt this chapter flowed better than some of the previous ones. The question is, where to next? That black car appeared from nowhere!
Comment from juliaSjames
An exciting and enjoyable read, Tony. Amusing reference to Lord of the Rings balanced by the cultural reference to the Arabian Nights. Excellent contrast between the shopping expedition and the explosion. Then you end with the mystery of the black car. Well done.
One point. Probably better to write "package" than "parcel" because Helen's purchases have been " neatly boxed".
Blessings Julia
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2019
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An exciting and enjoyable read, Tony. Amusing reference to Lord of the Rings balanced by the cultural reference to the Arabian Nights. Excellent contrast between the shopping expedition and the explosion. Then you end with the mystery of the black car. Well done.
One point. Probably better to write "package" than "parcel" because Helen's purchases have been " neatly boxed".
Blessings Julia
Comment Written 23-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2019
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Thank you very much for your generous comments and the sparkle of that additional star. You're absolutely right about 'package' being the better word in the circumstances, and I have changed it. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from estory
This was a very good chapter. You set up the shock of the terror attack excellently by starting us off with that scene of Helen seducing Charles in the sexy outfit, and then the explosion comes out of nowhere. Very realistic. And you had a detailed description of the crowd panicking, the wounded guy they help into the shop, and then the checkpoint, and Rasheed showing up out of the blue. A whirlwind of action, and it was all very visual in this chapter. Much like a film script. I liked the ending too, with that ominous black car following them. A good set up for the next chapter. We are riveted. estory
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2019
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This was a very good chapter. You set up the shock of the terror attack excellently by starting us off with that scene of Helen seducing Charles in the sexy outfit, and then the explosion comes out of nowhere. Very realistic. And you had a detailed description of the crowd panicking, the wounded guy they help into the shop, and then the checkpoint, and Rasheed showing up out of the blue. A whirlwind of action, and it was all very visual in this chapter. Much like a film script. I liked the ending too, with that ominous black car following them. A good set up for the next chapter. We are riveted. estory
Comment Written 23-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2019
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Thanks very much for these comments, estory. Most affirming. I appreciate the sixth star, too. Kind regards, Tony
Comment from giraffmang
Very nice descriptions early on.
I slipped one of the rings in my pocket onto my finger, perhaps hoping to disappear. Alas, it was not a ring of power. At the price I'd paid, how could it have been? - lol, some nice geek references in here for the unassuming...
The explosion rips through the gentle narrative which occurred up until this point as much as the marketplace.
Ominous signs there with the final lines.
great stuff once again.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2019
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Very nice descriptions early on.
I slipped one of the rings in my pocket onto my finger, perhaps hoping to disappear. Alas, it was not a ring of power. At the price I'd paid, how could it have been? - lol, some nice geek references in here for the unassuming...
The explosion rips through the gentle narrative which occurred up until this point as much as the marketplace.
Ominous signs there with the final lines.
great stuff once again.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2019
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Thanks very much for these comments, Gareth. Most affirming. I appreciate the sixth star, too. Here?s to the health of your enemies? enemies.
Comment from Sylvia Page
This chapter has a lot of the East worked into it. The imagery just popped up. Wow, what a hook to close this chapter. Wonder who is in the black car that seems to be following them.
Here's a typo...
"Wow! That must the most romantic proposal a girl has ever had. How did you know what size to get?"/"Wow! That must be the...
Sylvia
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2019
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This chapter has a lot of the East worked into it. The imagery just popped up. Wow, what a hook to close this chapter. Wonder who is in the black car that seems to be following them.
Here's a typo...
"Wow! That must the most romantic proposal a girl has ever had. How did you know what size to get?"/"Wow! That must be the...
Sylvia
Comment Written 23-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2019
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Thanks Sylvia. One day I'll post something spag free! Even when I read your review, I couldn't see that one at first. Word blind!
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It happens to the best of writers all the time, even if you have read and reread your draft several times before posting. Which is why you always want a new set of eyes to spot the most obvious typos.
Comment from Ricky1024
"An Explosive Situation"
Was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
It read well and Flowed well with no Grammar issues as well.
...
Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned perfectly.
..
God bless.
Doctor Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2019
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"An Explosive Situation"
Was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
It read well and Flowed well with no Grammar issues as well.
...
Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned perfectly.
..
God bless.
Doctor Ricky 1024
Comment Written 23-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2019
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Thanks
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Another phase of the story begins after the purchase, an explosive situation occurred, a distraught figure dashed past the shopfront, dragging a small child behind her, old man fell heavily against the glass, the boy was to be helped, another incident at jewelry shop; well said, well done. Liked and enjoyed the read. Write to Inspire, Change.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2019
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Another phase of the story begins after the purchase, an explosive situation occurred, a distraught figure dashed past the shopfront, dragging a small child behind her, old man fell heavily against the glass, the boy was to be helped, another incident at jewelry shop; well said, well done. Liked and enjoyed the read. Write to Inspire, Change.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2019
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Many thanks for your review and summary. Appreciated.
Comment from Patty Palmer
+Just as they got into the vehicle they had thought they might have a chance to catch their breath, when she looked around there was a car following them.
And now we wait for the next chapter!
I feel this is well written. I didn't see anything spelling or grammar that needs fixed. Keep 'em coming!
Patty
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2019
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+Just as they got into the vehicle they had thought they might have a chance to catch their breath, when she looked around there was a car following them.
And now we wait for the next chapter!
I feel this is well written. I didn't see anything spelling or grammar that needs fixed. Keep 'em coming!
Patty
Comment Written 23-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2019
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Thanks, Patty. Glad you?re still enjoying it. All the best, Tony.
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You're welcome!
Patty
Comment from Sankey
A great, exciting read. Loved the lascivious activity in the haberdashery if that is what it was? Or dress shop. Well done. Looking forward to more of this. Hey! No spags, either!
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2019
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A great, exciting read. Loved the lascivious activity in the haberdashery if that is what it was? Or dress shop. Well done. Looking forward to more of this. Hey! No spags, either!
Comment Written 22-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2019
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Thanks, Geoffrey. I appreciate the review. All the best, Tony.
Comment from lyenochka
Oh my, things got wild and crazy really fast. Great description of her attire. You must have studied some fashion magazines! I also liked the "thwump thwump" for the helicopter sound.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2019
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Oh my, things got wild and crazy really fast. Great description of her attire. You must have studied some fashion magazines! I also liked the "thwump thwump" for the helicopter sound.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2019
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Thanks, Helen. Charles didn?t entirely waste his time thumbing through those magazines! LOL