The Old Red Fox
A Russian Onegin Stanza29 total reviews
Comment from Pantygynt
Well done indeed. Janice has a point about 'killed and decimated'. I would suggest 'sadly decimated'.
You received a tremendous crop of sixes. Brilliant!
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2019
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Well done indeed. Janice has a point about 'killed and decimated'. I would suggest 'sadly decimated'.
You received a tremendous crop of sixes. Brilliant!
Comment Written 11-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2019
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Hi Jim. Thanks so much!! I edited it to read ... the brood was mauled and decimated.... I appreciate all of your advice on this piece! It was essential!!!
Melissa
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That' s better. Best of luck in the contest. I forgot to enter mine in the story in a poem but no matter as it is a long time to the end of November.
Comment from LisaMay
This is brilliant. You have set the scene so well, populating it with countryside detail and activity then introducing the wily hunter. I love the look of foxes and that illustration is gorgeous. We don't have them in NZ. I don't approve of blood-sports so, while sympathizing with the flock and with the farmer, I am pleased Old Red made his escape. The farmer will have to make his henhouse more secure.
The construction and flow and language in your poem is terrific.
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2019
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This is brilliant. You have set the scene so well, populating it with countryside detail and activity then introducing the wily hunter. I love the look of foxes and that illustration is gorgeous. We don't have them in NZ. I don't approve of blood-sports so, while sympathizing with the flock and with the farmer, I am pleased Old Red made his escape. The farmer will have to make his henhouse more secure.
The construction and flow and language in your poem is terrific.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2019
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Hi Lisa. Thank you so much for your lovey review. I appreciate your comments too and am glad you liked this one. Hugs!
Melissa
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My pleasure!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Chickadees are called 'tits' in England Melissa. As your write is referring to the English hunt, you may was to change it. You could say, "small blue tits begin to play" just to keep it authentic. I loved your expertly rhymed poem. I don't know this form, but you brought joy with these words and I thoroughly enjoyed it, this is a fabulous poem and worth a six, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2019
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Chickadees are called 'tits' in England Melissa. As your write is referring to the English hunt, you may was to change it. You could say, "small blue tits begin to play" just to keep it authentic. I loved your expertly rhymed poem. I don't know this form, but you brought joy with these words and I thoroughly enjoyed it, this is a fabulous poem and worth a six, love Dolly x
Comment Written 11-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2019
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Hi Dolly. Thanks so much. This Onegin Stanza was the last assignment for the Euro forms class. Jim posted his Onegin today too. I really appreciate your suggestion, but there is a necessary syllable count that I must adhere to in this form. I am so glad you like it, my friend.
Melissa
Comment from Sally Law
I am so used to such short form poetry from you, I was very pleased to see this longer offering and rhyming contest entry. I love the old fox story within, too.
Sending you my best today and for the upcoming contest,
Sally xo
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2019
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I am so used to such short form poetry from you, I was very pleased to see this longer offering and rhyming contest entry. I love the old fox story within, too.
Sending you my best today and for the upcoming contest,
Sally xo
Comment Written 11-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2019
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Thank you very much, Sally. This Onegin Stanza posting is my last assignment for the European Forms class I took. I really appreciate your take on it.. and, yes, now I will return to shorter verses. Thanks much!!
Melissa
Comment from Mistydawn
What a great story, poem. Your great description, word choice sets up the scene, makes us feel like we're there. Your Pov on the fox is perfect, quietly waiting for his chance at a feast. The suspense of the hunt is perfect, although, I must admit the animal lover in me was rooting for the fox. Was so happy to read he got away. Wonderful job.
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2019
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What a great story, poem. Your great description, word choice sets up the scene, makes us feel like we're there. Your Pov on the fox is perfect, quietly waiting for his chance at a feast. The suspense of the hunt is perfect, although, I must admit the animal lover in me was rooting for the fox. Was so happy to read he got away. Wonderful job.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2019
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Hi Misty. Thank you very much for the wonderful review and insightful comments. I am so glad you liked it!
Melissa
Comment from juliaSjames
I don't approve of fox hunting as an institution. But whatever my issues with the subject matter, there's no doubt that you have written an elaborate and exceptional poem in a format that may be arcane but flows smoothly. The rhyming is excellent. Fantastic word choice as for example, "luster/ muster" and "Quorn/ horn". In addition the poem is a vivid illustration of the English countryside and some elements of country life.
I will be surprised if this offering goes unrecognized by the committee.
Blessings Julia
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2019
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I don't approve of fox hunting as an institution. But whatever my issues with the subject matter, there's no doubt that you have written an elaborate and exceptional poem in a format that may be arcane but flows smoothly. The rhyming is excellent. Fantastic word choice as for example, "luster/ muster" and "Quorn/ horn". In addition the poem is a vivid illustration of the English countryside and some elements of country life.
I will be surprised if this offering goes unrecognized by the committee.
Blessings Julia
Comment Written 11-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2019
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Hi Julia. Thank you very much for your lovely comments. Your review encourages me as I try more complicated forms. The Onegin Stanza was our last assignment in the European Forms class. So now, I can focus on other forms that are more comfortable. But, I do like a challenge! Jim was an excellent teacher and I hope you are able to join one of his classes some day. Thanks again.
Melissa
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Hi Melissa. Thank you. It would be great to learn new things. Maybe after knee surgery on the 27 th
Comment from Janice Canerdy
This skillfully-written narrative poem tells its story very smoothly, holding my interest throughout. It is well-plotted through the effective use of specific details. Entire brood killed AND decimated?? (contradiction). Also, stanza 3 line 7--incomplete--?
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2019
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This skillfully-written narrative poem tells its story very smoothly, holding my interest throughout. It is well-plotted through the effective use of specific details. Entire brood killed AND decimated?? (contradiction). Also, stanza 3 line 7--incomplete--?
Comment Written 11-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2019
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Thank you Janice for your timely review. I will go and check the details. Thanks much!!
Melissa
Comment from N. Rabwar
This poem is marked by vivid imagery and a strong sense of place. I enjoyed the poem's drama. I always appreciate a poem that tells a story. I love foxes so I am glad your poem did not have a tragic ending.
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reply by the author on 11-Aug-2019
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This poem is marked by vivid imagery and a strong sense of place. I enjoyed the poem's drama. I always appreciate a poem that tells a story. I love foxes so I am glad your poem did not have a tragic ending.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2019
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Thank you very much. I am glad you liked it and am grateful you took the time to review!
Melissa
Comment from LeftHandedScribe
This layered and highly sophisticated piece reminds me how much work goes into even a few stanzas. Your notes are equally as fascinating as the piece. Your writing teaches me much about specificity and skill.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2019
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This layered and highly sophisticated piece reminds me how much work goes into even a few stanzas. Your notes are equally as fascinating as the piece. Your writing teaches me much about specificity and skill.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2019
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Hello there! I am delighted you liked it. This was the final assignment for the FS European forms class. It was complicated, but a lot of fun too. Thanks for the review.
Melissa
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It?s lovely. I am a huge fan of foxes. They are complex and magnificent creatures.