Perennials of War
Viewing comments for Chapter 65 "Chapter Zwanzig part zwei"Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan
25 total reviews
Comment from Henry King
Review by Henry: Even though I stepped into your tale far down the line, it was not difficult to acclimate myself to your writing style. You write very well, and it shows why you are an accomplished author. You say you have split this long chapter into parts. I believe it would be better done by separating by scene/event than by number of words. The airport departure/arrival event was short. It made a good opening. The dinner, his phone call and her reading should have been the scene for this segment; and ending with her thinking if her father could have done as King Lear. Yes, the cliff hanger about the lights would have been a better ending, but there was too much conversation over the security set-up before that.
Maybe the lights going out when she thought about her father, then her screaming.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2018
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Review by Henry: Even though I stepped into your tale far down the line, it was not difficult to acclimate myself to your writing style. You write very well, and it shows why you are an accomplished author. You say you have split this long chapter into parts. I believe it would be better done by separating by scene/event than by number of words. The airport departure/arrival event was short. It made a good opening. The dinner, his phone call and her reading should have been the scene for this segment; and ending with her thinking if her father could have done as King Lear. Yes, the cliff hanger about the lights would have been a better ending, but there was too much conversation over the security set-up before that.
Maybe the lights going out when she thought about her father, then her screaming.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2018
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I will reconsider this. I will see what other reviewers say. I do appreciate your comments.
Comment from c_lucas
No one is ever safe if they have a determined enemy. I like the way Shana is at odds with Anderson. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2018
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No one is ever safe if they have a determined enemy. I like the way Shana is at odds with Anderson. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2018
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Thank you for the kind review.
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You're welcome, Barbara. Charlie
Comment from The kurlman
judiverse, your chapter became quite interesting after about the first page. It was because I had not read any of your other written works. Once I got into it I didn't want it to end. You are an established writer and it was easy following your characters. I hope to read your completed work someday. The kurlman
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2018
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judiverse, your chapter became quite interesting after about the first page. It was because I had not read any of your other written works. Once I got into it I didn't want it to end. You are an established writer and it was easy following your characters. I hope to read your completed work someday. The kurlman
Comment Written 18-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2018
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Thank you for the kind review.
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You are welcome, The kurlman
Comment from Sankey
Top Chapter once again. I would like to give you SIX all the way through but then someone might4 think I am biased...well its TRUE! I AM! You have left us hanging again. I bet it is a minor problem.
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reply by the author on 18-Feb-2018
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Top Chapter once again. I would like to give you SIX all the way through but then someone might4 think I am biased...well its TRUE! I AM! You have left us hanging again. I bet it is a minor problem.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2018
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It's sort of a major issue this time. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from royowen
I just noticed Drew calling Shana "sweetheart" mmmh. Anderson is preparing the evening meal, and Shana badly wants to help, perhaps with desert? Drew checks on Shana, discovering that she can't sleep, worrying about security, suddenly all the lights go out, exciting stuff, well done, blessings, Roy
Typo :"This sound(s) alright...2: but the (kind) of France. King?
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reply by the author on 18-Feb-2018
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I just noticed Drew calling Shana "sweetheart" mmmh. Anderson is preparing the evening meal, and Shana badly wants to help, perhaps with desert? Drew checks on Shana, discovering that she can't sleep, worrying about security, suddenly all the lights go out, exciting stuff, well done, blessings, Roy
Typo :"This sound(s) alright...2: but the (kind) of France. King?
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2018
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I will make those corrections. I almost rewrote this as I posted, I am never happy with my posts. LOL
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Me niether