Perennials of War
Viewing comments for Chapter 33 "Chapter Zehn part drei"Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan
43 total reviews
Comment from rheabug
Thanks for sharing your latest submission with the fan story population. I enjoyed the read and know that you will do well with this story line. I have read your submission in the past and enjoyed every word. I am not disappointed now. Hugs..Linda
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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Thanks for sharing your latest submission with the fan story population. I enjoyed the read and know that you will do well with this story line. I have read your submission in the past and enjoyed every word. I am not disappointed now. Hugs..Linda
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Rasmine
Good chapter. You always include food in your chapters. It makes me hungry :P.
Hope Shana gets the painting and everything works out well.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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Good chapter. You always include food in your chapters. It makes me hungry :P.
Hope Shana gets the painting and everything works out well.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from light
I liked the idea of the slingshot and King David. My brothers and my father always had some kind of slingshot, even if it was just a big rubber band. I do think people should be careful about what they discusss in front of children. Another good chapter.
Elaine
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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I liked the idea of the slingshot and King David. My brothers and my father always had some kind of slingshot, even if it was just a big rubber band. I do think people should be careful about what they discusss in front of children. Another good chapter.
Elaine
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from dweigt
Excellent work. I like how Emily is revealing more about her mother and her relationship with Drew.
One minor nit:
Mommy says daddy's too rich for his own good -- I think Daddy should be capitalized here. It is being used in place of a name for a specific person.
A helicopter landing unexpectedly? Oooh... maybe the bad guys are launching an aerial assault, since they've had no luck coming up the normal way!
Keep writing!
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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Excellent work. I like how Emily is revealing more about her mother and her relationship with Drew.
One minor nit:
Mommy says daddy's too rich for his own good -- I think Daddy should be capitalized here. It is being used in place of a name for a specific person.
A helicopter landing unexpectedly? Oooh... maybe the bad guys are launching an aerial assault, since they've had no luck coming up the normal way!
Keep writing!
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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Thank you for the kind review. I have made the corrections.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Another well written chapter to this interesting story, my friend. They really should watch what they say in front of children. A helicopter landing? Sounds like an interesting development. Have a good week, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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Another well written chapter to this interesting story, my friend. They really should watch what they say in front of children. A helicopter landing? Sounds like an interesting development. Have a good week, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from rtobaygo
Good morning, Barbara
I liked the innocent banter of Emily, of how you included her as you wove the story line around her. Excellent hook at he end.
Take care and stay safe,
Ray
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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Good morning, Barbara
I liked the innocent banter of Emily, of how you included her as you wove the story line around her. Excellent hook at he end.
Take care and stay safe,
Ray
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
A low-flying helicopter would be very intriguing to most people who observe it.
Storyline possesses plenty of high-rising action to move the tale along.
Several different directions you could travel this accounting in from this point forward, like maybe they fly off to some far away land somewhere for a much needed vacation, or any number of other possible scenarios could play out here.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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A low-flying helicopter would be very intriguing to most people who observe it.
Storyline possesses plenty of high-rising action to move the tale along.
Several different directions you could travel this accounting in from this point forward, like maybe they fly off to some far away land somewhere for a much needed vacation, or any number of other possible scenarios could play out here.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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Thank you for the kind review. LOL They will be taking a trip, but not to a far away place unless you consider Texas a far away place.
Comment from Elliot J Ridgely
Very interesting from the off and I already want to know what happens next, however I do find myself craving more description between the speech. The napkin was a lovely touch but I'd like to know more about their surroundings. Not loads, you don't have to write paragraphs and paragraphs, just little hints and observations about the room and the people in it.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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Very interesting from the off and I already want to know what happens next, however I do find myself craving more description between the speech. The napkin was a lovely touch but I'd like to know more about their surroundings. Not loads, you don't have to write paragraphs and paragraphs, just little hints and observations about the room and the people in it.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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Thank you for the kind review. I'm not into writing description for description sake, it's it doesn't move the story along it's not there.
Comment from Alex Biasin
I think this has been written very well.
The structure and form is very good, however the story doesn't really captivate me.
It picks up towards the end and it may just be that I am only jumping on here, the writing is good and that is why I have kept my rating high.
Just one slight grammatical fix - He's even sent men Peoria, Illinois - should read He's even sent men to Peoria, Illinois.
Good work.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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I think this has been written very well.
The structure and form is very good, however the story doesn't really captivate me.
It picks up towards the end and it may just be that I am only jumping on here, the writing is good and that is why I have kept my rating high.
Just one slight grammatical fix - He's even sent men Peoria, Illinois - should read He's even sent men to Peoria, Illinois.
Good work.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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Thank you for the kind review. I've fixed that error. This is part 3 of chapter 10. Things have already happened and things will continue to happen.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Good dialogue. I wonder who is in the helicopter... Drew? I don't see why she can't have a slingshot. They're fairly harmless, at least one would be in her unskilled hands.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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Good dialogue. I wonder who is in the helicopter... Drew? I don't see why she can't have a slingshot. They're fairly harmless, at least one would be in her unskilled hands.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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Thank you for the kind review. LOL All 5 year olds need a slingshot, right??