Perennials of War
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "Chapter Acht part drei"Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan
40 total reviews
Comment from Rasmine
Excellent chapter.
When I edit I always miss something--I put it on here and people point out my mistakes, and I'm like how did I miss that? LOL!! It's hard to see the errors when you think it is fine. Have a good 20 days with the kids. :D Bet they are getting excited about summer!
reply by the author on 01-May-2017
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Excellent chapter.
When I edit I always miss something--I put it on here and people point out my mistakes, and I'm like how did I miss that? LOL!! It's hard to see the errors when you think it is fine. Have a good 20 days with the kids. :D Bet they are getting excited about summer!
Comment Written 01-May-2017
reply by the author on 01-May-2017
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I know I am excited about summer. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from kriver
Hi,
This is another chapter that is good
However, there is very little action
besides eating and talking
So far the only action part
in the whole story
has been in the garage scene
The story premise is a good one
But it is begging for some real action
Best regards,
K River
reply by the author on 01-May-2017
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Hi,
This is another chapter that is good
However, there is very little action
besides eating and talking
So far the only action part
in the whole story
has been in the garage scene
The story premise is a good one
But it is begging for some real action
Best regards,
K River
Comment Written 01-May-2017
reply by the author on 01-May-2017
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Real action will happen, but I don't want to rush it. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Mustang Patty
Poor Shana. She continues to be confused and left out the bigger loop as they strive to solve the mystery that surrounds her. Your prose flow well and the use of dialogue continues to add a nice dimension to the story.
I look forward to reading more,
~patty~
reply by the author on 01-May-2017
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Poor Shana. She continues to be confused and left out the bigger loop as they strive to solve the mystery that surrounds her. Your prose flow well and the use of dialogue continues to add a nice dimension to the story.
I look forward to reading more,
~patty~
Comment Written 01-May-2017
reply by the author on 01-May-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from rtobaygo
Good morning, Barbara
So the intrigue continues. One can feel Shana's angst, her mind unable to find a solution to where, when and why the Russians want her dead. Enjoyed.
Take care and stay safe,
Ray
reply by the author on 01-May-2017
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Good morning, Barbara
So the intrigue continues. One can feel Shana's angst, her mind unable to find a solution to where, when and why the Russians want her dead. Enjoyed.
Take care and stay safe,
Ray
Comment Written 01-May-2017
reply by the author on 01-May-2017
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I appreciate the kind review.
Comment from apky
Wonderful writing as usual, Barbara.
Now, I'm truly enjoying this work, but
I seem to now get the feeling that it tends to be
too stationary. It could be that I always catch it
when the people are having something to eat
or having a discussion in the den and so on.
It's a story that should have lots of racy action
going on, but the action is stagnant or at best
"discussed" and planned for some future time.
On the other hand it just might be the way you
want to write your story. Or I've missed out on the
action scenes that took place.
This is my take, and it's subjective, of course.
Have a super week ahead,
Apky
reply by the author on 01-May-2017
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Wonderful writing as usual, Barbara.
Now, I'm truly enjoying this work, but
I seem to now get the feeling that it tends to be
too stationary. It could be that I always catch it
when the people are having something to eat
or having a discussion in the den and so on.
It's a story that should have lots of racy action
going on, but the action is stagnant or at best
"discussed" and planned for some future time.
On the other hand it just might be the way you
want to write your story. Or I've missed out on the
action scenes that took place.
This is my take, and it's subjective, of course.
Have a super week ahead,
Apky
Comment Written 01-May-2017
reply by the author on 01-May-2017
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I have only had one action scene so far, and it will come again, but I don't want to rush the story. Every thing I write will have importance at one time or another. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Barbara. We are moving right along with finding these artifacts. One wonders what they look like etc. are you going to work that in somehow so the reader doesn't lose track of the main vein of the story?
The story is moving along well.
Suggestions: Re-word this sentence. It is grammatically incorrect: ""I don't have enough information to know even what to ask."
And: Also in previous post notes: I would preface this with "yes" as a question is actusally being asked previously. ""Thank you."
And: "Anderson took a bite of biscuits smothered with sausage gravy." I would just make this, "Anderson took a large bite of his food." (You already mentioned the biscuits and gravy so it's sort of redundant.
Also: "I'll do a quick dusting and vacuuming in the den." Jane walked away." I would change this to read, "As Jane moved away she said, "I'll do a quick dusting and vacuuming in the den."
Bless you, Bob
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reply by the author on 03-May-2017
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Hi, Barbara. We are moving right along with finding these artifacts. One wonders what they look like etc. are you going to work that in somehow so the reader doesn't lose track of the main vein of the story?
The story is moving along well.
Suggestions: Re-word this sentence. It is grammatically incorrect: ""I don't have enough information to know even what to ask."
And: Also in previous post notes: I would preface this with "yes" as a question is actusally being asked previously. ""Thank you."
And: "Anderson took a bite of biscuits smothered with sausage gravy." I would just make this, "Anderson took a large bite of his food." (You already mentioned the biscuits and gravy so it's sort of redundant.
Also: "I'll do a quick dusting and vacuuming in the den." Jane walked away." I would change this to read, "As Jane moved away she said, "I'll do a quick dusting and vacuuming in the den."
Bless you, Bob
:
Comment Written 30-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 03-May-2017
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I appreciate the kind review. I have made the suggested corrections.
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This too? ""Yes, but I don't have enough information to know even what to ask." (not correct. sorry. Bob
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I added to it. Maybe I got it right this time.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
I didn't see any spags and it is well written. 20 days-that's hard to believe. It is cold and rainy here still. I had flowers in bloom this time last year. Well written, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
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I didn't see any spags and it is well written. 20 days-that's hard to believe. It is cold and rainy here still. I had flowers in bloom this time last year. Well written, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 30-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
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We've been in the high 80's, usually around 85 -89. Thank you for the kind review.
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It's about 50 here. I just came in from watering the plants on the porch where they are protected from the rain. Brrr~Debbie
Comment from c_lucas
It looks as if some of the puzzle is coming together. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. There is very good imagery.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
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It looks as if some of the puzzle is coming together. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. There is very good imagery.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
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My pleasure.
Comment from Sankey
Hey barb, glad the Sixes are back. Good chapter and NO SPAGS shock horror. Been pleased with the wonderful response to my Biography. Getting good help and some misunderstanding from one quarter. I think some have the idea I am looking for a best seller or something which is not the case at all.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
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Hey barb, glad the Sixes are back. Good chapter and NO SPAGS shock horror. Been pleased with the wonderful response to my Biography. Getting good help and some misunderstanding from one quarter. I think some have the idea I am looking for a best seller or something which is not the case at all.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
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LOL Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review.
Comment from Sis Cat
I still say that I would not want to mess around with those Russian mafia hit-men, but to get as far away from them as possible, not that is going to help any because they have means of tracking you down. These are my favorite lines in this chapter because it states the obvious: "Jeff mentioned that the bull tatt means 'one who makes ordered physical executions happen'. Does that mean Morozov wants me dead? If it does, why are you discussing finger sandwiches?"
Yes, indeed. This makes me more curious about what Jeremy knows and how Anderson will protect Shana.
The only SPAG is that the acronym of the New York City Police Department is NYPD and now NYCPD as you can see from this link to their website.
Thank is another thrilling chapter in a chain of thrilling chapters. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
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I still say that I would not want to mess around with those Russian mafia hit-men, but to get as far away from them as possible, not that is going to help any because they have means of tracking you down. These are my favorite lines in this chapter because it states the obvious: "Jeff mentioned that the bull tatt means 'one who makes ordered physical executions happen'. Does that mean Morozov wants me dead? If it does, why are you discussing finger sandwiches?"
Yes, indeed. This makes me more curious about what Jeremy knows and how Anderson will protect Shana.
The only SPAG is that the acronym of the New York City Police Department is NYPD and now NYCPD as you can see from this link to their website.
Thank is another thrilling chapter in a chain of thrilling chapters. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
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Thank you for setting me straight on that. I just figured it had the C in it because of being New York City Police Department. I didn't research that; go figure. I researched everything else. LOL Thank you.
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You're welcome!