Perennials of War
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Chapter Funf part zwei"Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan
35 total reviews
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Chapter Funf part zwei - ????
Can't except - accept
twelve thousand dollars child support - and alimony AND preschool funds - my goodness, that's staggering - I got a pittance for my 3 little boys and then sometimes he didn't pay, so had to be chased, which caused more abuse at the time. I had 3 jobs to keep my boys fed and clothed back then,
Shana's putting herself in danger?
Well penned, Barbara.
Margaret
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
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Chapter Funf part zwei - ????
Can't except - accept
twelve thousand dollars child support - and alimony AND preschool funds - my goodness, that's staggering - I got a pittance for my 3 little boys and then sometimes he didn't pay, so had to be chased, which caused more abuse at the time. I had 3 jobs to keep my boys fed and clothed back then,
Shana's putting herself in danger?
Well penned, Barbara.
Margaret
Comment Written 06-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
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Thank you for the kind review. I have made the corrections. Anderson can well afford it. Most men don't pay and are real dirtbags.
Comment from valmay
Hi
It's hard to come late into a story, but I am enjoying yours. Just my point of view.
Up to this point par.1 I thpught this was superfluous and the paragraph was stronger without it.
P. 16. 'I'd' better go
P19 I can't 'Accept'
Shana overheard how would she know it was a man maybe 'someone' Would sound better
Hope some of these help.
Looking forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
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Hi
It's hard to come late into a story, but I am enjoying yours. Just my point of view.
Up to this point par.1 I thpught this was superfluous and the paragraph was stronger without it.
P. 16. 'I'd' better go
P19 I can't 'Accept'
Shana overheard how would she know it was a man maybe 'someone' Would sound better
Hope some of these help.
Looking forward to reading more.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
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Thank you for the kind review. I figured she heard a man's voice.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
More excellent character description / development and backstory for Anderson here in the opening sections.
I can't except such extravagant gifts - accept.
This incident of Shana's exit shows the quality/type of person she is. Good development here to.
All the best
G
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
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Hi there,
More excellent character description / development and backstory for Anderson here in the opening sections.
I can't except such extravagant gifts - accept.
This incident of Shana's exit shows the quality/type of person she is. Good development here to.
All the best
G
Comment Written 06-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
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Thank you for the kind review. Made the correction.
Comment from bookishfabler
Anderson took a bite of muffin before he answered, "Of course. I have an automatic transfer of twelve thousand dollars child support and twenty thousand dollars alimony on the first of each month. Plus I'm paying for private preschool that she rarely attends because Patricia can't get her to school." (I wish he was my ex-husband, or just husband. LOL)
Boy did Shana get into the right car.
Hugs
Heidi
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
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Anderson took a bite of muffin before he answered, "Of course. I have an automatic transfer of twelve thousand dollars child support and twenty thousand dollars alimony on the first of each month. Plus I'm paying for private preschool that she rarely attends because Patricia can't get her to school." (I wish he was my ex-husband, or just husband. LOL)
Boy did Shana get into the right car.
Hugs
Heidi
Comment Written 06-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
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Thank you for the kind review. I like to use dream men in my stories. I've never met one myself. LOL
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Yes, I do too, mine are usually detectives. But they need flaws. Because that is a bit closer to reality. I loved my first husband and I love my husband now, but they both had and have flaws. Otherwise they get boring. Just a little thought.
Hugs
Heidi
Comment from Heidi M
Very good plot twist to have Shana overhear just enough to believe she may jeopardize Anderson getting custody of his daughter. You have shown her to be a good-hearted woman, unwilling to cause difficulty for a father and his child. Unfortunately, she is putting herself smack dab into danger. The monthly child support and alimony amounts were staggering, especially since the pre-nup stated he didn't have to pay alimony.
Well done on this part of the chapter.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
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Very good plot twist to have Shana overhear just enough to believe she may jeopardize Anderson getting custody of his daughter. You have shown her to be a good-hearted woman, unwilling to cause difficulty for a father and his child. Unfortunately, she is putting herself smack dab into danger. The monthly child support and alimony amounts were staggering, especially since the pre-nup stated he didn't have to pay alimony.
Well done on this part of the chapter.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sankey
Another great read. Thanks again. Just wondered about one possible spag, but not sure. Let me know what you think. Wondering about the following.... private pre(-?)school
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
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Another great read. Thanks again. Just wondered about one possible spag, but not sure. Let me know what you think. Wondering about the following.... private pre(-?)school
Comment Written 05-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
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Hi Barbara I am getting more of my autobiography out there is still some rewards for the edited upgrades.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Patricia is a real piece of work. No way she should get custody, but stranger things have happened. How did Anderson ever get hooked up with her? No sags noted. Good writing style.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
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Patricia is a real piece of work. No way she should get custody, but stranger things have happened. How did Anderson ever get hooked up with her? No sags noted. Good writing style.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
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Thank you for the kind review. How Patricia and Anderson hooked up will come out later.
Comment from ciliverde
Shana is trying to do the right thing by leaving, not wanting to get in the way of Anderson getting his daughter back. But she won't be going far, I have a feeling. I'm surprised the dog didn't bark when she left, or scratch at the door. That ex-wife sounds horrible! nicely done on this chapter,
Carol
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
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Shana is trying to do the right thing by leaving, not wanting to get in the way of Anderson getting his daughter back. But she won't be going far, I have a feeling. I'm surprised the dog didn't bark when she left, or scratch at the door. That ex-wife sounds horrible! nicely done on this chapter,
Carol
Comment Written 05-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Great chapter, Barbara. I was wondering why I hadn't seen you appear in the ratings! I was afraid you weren't going to post at all.
I loved the way the story has progressed, and now Shana wants to sacrifice herself so Anderson could get custody of his daughter.
Now, how does she get twelve thousand dollars child support and twenty thousand dollars alimony on the first of each month? Are you kidding me? All I got was $400. Oh well, that's what happens when you're ex is poor. Actually, he isn't, but had a better lawyer. It was enough to get rid of him. haha.
great job,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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Great chapter, Barbara. I was wondering why I hadn't seen you appear in the ratings! I was afraid you weren't going to post at all.
I loved the way the story has progressed, and now Shana wants to sacrifice herself so Anderson could get custody of his daughter.
Now, how does she get twelve thousand dollars child support and twenty thousand dollars alimony on the first of each month? Are you kidding me? All I got was $400. Oh well, that's what happens when you're ex is poor. Actually, he isn't, but had a better lawyer. It was enough to get rid of him. haha.
great job,
Rhonda
Comment Written 05-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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I know many women who would be happy with $1.00 child support. I appreciate your kind review.
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You're right, and my ex moved to Canada to avoid what little he did have to pay. Good riddance! It was worth losing the child support to have him away from my kids!!
Comment from c_lucas
Sometimes a woman (men, also) will get into trouble by refusing help. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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Sometimes a woman (men, also) will get into trouble by refusing help. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
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You're welcome, Barbara. Charlie