Perennials of War
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Chapter Three part drei"Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan
39 total reviews
Comment from Jay Squires
Barbara, I remember my first acquaintance with your writing, three stories (I believe) ago. It was the one where much of it took place underground, in a mine under a southern home. Anyway, I was impressed by your writing then; now, in my reckoning, I can say you have really improved markedly in your storytelling abilities. Your plots have become more deliciously complex, your characters have shown more facets and become more believable with each successive book. This is your greatest conquest to date. What a start for 2017. May you have the best year yet!
A few considerations are below. Most are subjective, so accept or reject. They are just one writer's opinion:
Anderson grabbed her phone, [I would suggest (in a whisper), that you foreshadow Anderson's sudden grabbing of her phone by Shana seeing a blur, or a shadow--something to allay the confusion of suddenly finding Anderson there. I had to read it a couple of times before I figured what had happened ... but it's only a suggestion (and whispered because I can understand you would kind of want the very feeling I'm suggesting you change.]
After hanging up, he motioned for everybody to return to the dining room table. [Wow! You did a good job showing the influence that Anderson wields. He's a man of considerable power, and you are describing it well.]
"Philip, cancel her flight for tomorrow. If they give you any problems, drop a few names." [As to add to the previous comment ... I love this, "drop a few names."]
"I can't stay here. [I'd suggest a speech tag after this sentence. My first thought was it was Anderson continuing his dialogue. Granted, one learns near the conclusion of the paragraph that it is Shana speaking, but I think it's important for the reader not to be pulled out of the "mental movie" to make the adjustment. But call it an observation only.]
"No you won't. [Comma needed after "No,"]
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Barbara, I remember my first acquaintance with your writing, three stories (I believe) ago. It was the one where much of it took place underground, in a mine under a southern home. Anyway, I was impressed by your writing then; now, in my reckoning, I can say you have really improved markedly in your storytelling abilities. Your plots have become more deliciously complex, your characters have shown more facets and become more believable with each successive book. This is your greatest conquest to date. What a start for 2017. May you have the best year yet!
A few considerations are below. Most are subjective, so accept or reject. They are just one writer's opinion:
Anderson grabbed her phone, [I would suggest (in a whisper), that you foreshadow Anderson's sudden grabbing of her phone by Shana seeing a blur, or a shadow--something to allay the confusion of suddenly finding Anderson there. I had to read it a couple of times before I figured what had happened ... but it's only a suggestion (and whispered because I can understand you would kind of want the very feeling I'm suggesting you change.]
After hanging up, he motioned for everybody to return to the dining room table. [Wow! You did a good job showing the influence that Anderson wields. He's a man of considerable power, and you are describing it well.]
"Philip, cancel her flight for tomorrow. If they give you any problems, drop a few names." [As to add to the previous comment ... I love this, "drop a few names."]
"I can't stay here. [I'd suggest a speech tag after this sentence. My first thought was it was Anderson continuing his dialogue. Granted, one learns near the conclusion of the paragraph that it is Shana speaking, but I think it's important for the reader not to be pulled out of the "mental movie" to make the adjustment. But call it an observation only.]
"No you won't. [Comma needed after "No,"]
Comment Written 03-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Thank you for the encouraging review. I have worked on those area. I'm thrilled with this review. You're one of the author's on this site I admire and your words are so kind.
Comment from ciliverde
I love that you included the dogs in the character list. I forgot that they were German Shepherds so now I can picture them better. I like the way this story is going, the plot line is very interesting and suspenseful, and the characters compelling. I'm enjoying this very much! My only issue is, I wish you posted chapters more often! Lol, I know you're a working lady, like me. Happy 2017!
Carol
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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I love that you included the dogs in the character list. I forgot that they were German Shepherds so now I can picture them better. I like the way this story is going, the plot line is very interesting and suspenseful, and the characters compelling. I'm enjoying this very much! My only issue is, I wish you posted chapters more often! Lol, I know you're a working lady, like me. Happy 2017!
Carol
Comment Written 02-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Thank you for the encouraging review. To me, the dogs bring a lot to the story, so of course they're characters. Before long, they will have a leading role. LOL
Comment from mbagby23
I need to go back and read up. So I know what really going on. I am only lost because I did read the first two chapters. However, I did enjoy this thus far. Can't wait to see what going to happen next.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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I need to go back and read up. So I know what really going on. I am only lost because I did read the first two chapters. However, I did enjoy this thus far. Can't wait to see what going to happen next.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sis Cat
Action is ratcheting up as Anderson seeks to protect Shana and those around her from the men "who want something from you and aren't opposed to violence to get it." At the same time he is trying to protect her life, he is trying to protect her reputation. She sleeps in the east end and the two vow never to be alone together. As Romeo puts his head in her lap, I sense that Shana and Anderson will eventually overcome the barriers they raised around each other and fall in love.
Thank you for sharing another brisk, thrilling chapter.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Action is ratcheting up as Anderson seeks to protect Shana and those around her from the men "who want something from you and aren't opposed to violence to get it." At the same time he is trying to protect her life, he is trying to protect her reputation. She sleeps in the east end and the two vow never to be alone together. As Romeo puts his head in her lap, I sense that Shana and Anderson will eventually overcome the barriers they raised around each other and fall in love.
Thank you for sharing another brisk, thrilling chapter.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Thank you for the encouraging review. My hope is they do fall in love.
Comment from light
I like that he is protecting Shana,s reputation because of her grandmother. He is also protecting her brother Aaron. The strange men are persistent in their endeavor to get to Shana. This story is progressing at a good pace. I am enjoying the read.
Elaine
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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I like that he is protecting Shana,s reputation because of her grandmother. He is also protecting her brother Aaron. The strange men are persistent in their endeavor to get to Shana. This story is progressing at a good pace. I am enjoying the read.
Elaine
Comment Written 02-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from MelB
The tension keeps rising, but there are still so many unanswered questions. The story is moving along nicely. I'm sure all will be answered in due time.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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The tension keeps rising, but there are still so many unanswered questions. The story is moving along nicely. I'm sure all will be answered in due time.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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Thank you for the encouraging review.
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Thank you for the encouraging review.
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You're most welcome:)
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Gee, Miss Katie Jo would like to have a dog-walker. For some reason, she dicided she wanted to go outside in the middle of the night (not to potty as she has puppy pads). I made her wait until this morning. It was cold and rainy and she didn't stay out long. Well written chapter. i like how your stories always have a dog in them. Happy New Year, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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Gee, Miss Katie Jo would like to have a dog-walker. For some reason, she dicided she wanted to go outside in the middle of the night (not to potty as she has puppy pads). I made her wait until this morning. It was cold and rainy and she didn't stay out long. Well written chapter. i like how your stories always have a dog in them. Happy New Year, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 02-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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I'm sure you already know that I am a huge dog lover. Shana keeps telling me she wants a cat, but I just don't see it. I appreciate your kind review.
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes this is well written my friend and moving along well it is getting more exciting now I am enjoying and I look forward to the next chapter regards Jill
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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Yes this is well written my friend and moving along well it is getting more exciting now I am enjoying and I look forward to the next chapter regards Jill
Comment Written 02-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from barkingdog
If Shana goes with him, the men will see her.
If she doesn't, will the museum give Anderson the information he needs?
More and more danger. Now, her family.
Good pacing. Tension is built. Now, for some news. Any tidbit will do. haha
:) e
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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If Shana goes with him, the men will see her.
If she doesn't, will the museum give Anderson the information he needs?
More and more danger. Now, her family.
Good pacing. Tension is built. Now, for some news. Any tidbit will do. haha
:) e
Comment Written 02-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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LOL I'll see what I can do about a tidbit. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
This is fantastic I will now look up the first two chapters having enjoyed this so much - the characters are realistic and interesting, the story flows well and as you said the underlying air of mystery will enhance the romance.Really enjoyed and look forward to reading more of your work and will look out for your book on Amazon.Well done.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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This is fantastic I will now look up the first two chapters having enjoyed this so much - the characters are realistic and interesting, the story flows well and as you said the underlying air of mystery will enhance the romance.Really enjoyed and look forward to reading more of your work and will look out for your book on Amazon.Well done.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.