New York's Best: the NYDOE
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "The NYCDoHD Spells Jobs"A Musical in One Act
30 total reviews
Comment from Ricky1024
This chapter in your book Entitled, "New Yorks Best"
"NYCDoHD Spells Jobs"
Was well written rich in theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
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Complete Synopsis:
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures Aligned Perfectly.
Doctor Ricky1024
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2022
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This chapter in your book Entitled, "New Yorks Best"
"NYCDoHD Spells Jobs"
Was well written rich in theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
...
Complete Synopsis:
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures Aligned Perfectly.
Doctor Ricky1024
Comment Written 27-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2022
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Thank you for weighing in, Ricky. I appreciate your support.
Jay
Comment from Jim Wile
Jay, this is the first chapter I've read of this script, and I'm very impressed. I plan to go back and read the others now.
Wonderful interplay between Mr. Kincade and Zachary. Mr. K. seems very fond of the quirky Zachary, and Zachary appears to have a great deal of pride and wants to work for his living even though he would be paid to beg. His scruples don't allow him any part of that, and it's admirable.
I hope he can find something he is suited for, as he seems like a very likable, albeit somewhat strange, character.
This was a very well-developed scene.
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2022
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Jay, this is the first chapter I've read of this script, and I'm very impressed. I plan to go back and read the others now.
Wonderful interplay between Mr. Kincade and Zachary. Mr. K. seems very fond of the quirky Zachary, and Zachary appears to have a great deal of pride and wants to work for his living even though he would be paid to beg. His scruples don't allow him any part of that, and it's admirable.
I hope he can find something he is suited for, as he seems like a very likable, albeit somewhat strange, character.
This was a very well-developed scene.
Comment Written 27-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2022
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This was, of course, the final scene. I believe that mention of Zachary's coming back in a week led some readers to think the play wasn't over. The hardest part is yet to come. I have to somehow turn the lyrics I've been given into music. You don't know musical notation do you?
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Unfortunately, not well enough to help with that.
Comment from Earl Corp
This was kind of an odd submission. It could have been a script writing contest entry. It was very well written with all the stage directions. Stay safe and stay healthy in the new year.
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2022
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This was kind of an odd submission. It could have been a script writing contest entry. It was very well written with all the stage directions. Stay safe and stay healthy in the new year.
Comment Written 27-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2022
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Many thanks, Earl. About all I've written for the last two years have been scripts-- or, rather, stage plays. This one will ultimately be a musical.
Comment from amahra
Beg? Ok, this is getting delightfully weird. LOL! I like Mr. Kincade, but I'm starting to smell a rat with this rich, considerately harmless, guy. He sounds eccentric. Anyway, great stuff, Jay.
Almost? Was it before ... or after ...? [Before or after what? I read it twice, but I guess I missed something?]
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2022
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Beg? Ok, this is getting delightfully weird. LOL! I like Mr. Kincade, but I'm starting to smell a rat with this rich, considerately harmless, guy. He sounds eccentric. Anyway, great stuff, Jay.
Almost? Was it before ... or after ...? [Before or after what? I read it twice, but I guess I missed something?]
Comment Written 27-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2022
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The reference to before or after, has to do with Mr. Kincade's failed attempt at partnering with the Indian man and his beautiful daughter. But the fact that it confused you did concern me at the time of the writing. I was hoping the reader would recognize the reference. I'll have to wait until a few more people mention it. Thanks for the heads up, though, Amahra ... and need I say it ... for the six bright stars.
Jay
Comment from lyenochka
But he won't take the begging job? It sounds intriguing. I wonder about what the "odd duck" wanted. Surely, Zachary could have given it a try. He's done everything else. And he's come close to begging Kincade just now. I liked the "There's a time for poetry, ZACHARY, and a time for reality." It seems that Kincade and Zachary are more closely connected that we know.
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2022
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But he won't take the begging job? It sounds intriguing. I wonder about what the "odd duck" wanted. Surely, Zachary could have given it a try. He's done everything else. And he's come close to begging Kincade just now. I liked the "There's a time for poetry, ZACHARY, and a time for reality." It seems that Kincade and Zachary are more closely connected that we know.
Comment Written 26-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2022
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Do you have any guesses as to who the odd duck is? Thank you, Helen, for the six stars and for the evidence of a close reading. I think Zachary and Mr. Kincade are very close.
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Zachary's father??
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No, but hahahaha, that's a good one! I hadn't thought of him. I'm still chuckling.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
It is interesting that Zachary could not make himself beg. He seems to have tried everything else, but I can also see he couldn't beg without offering something, possibly even a poem or story, and that would get him fired. I hope you are receiving some good lyrics for the play. I would like to suggest you change the title. Even knowing what the letters stand for, the title is rather unwieldy.
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2022
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It is interesting that Zachary could not make himself beg. He seems to have tried everything else, but I can also see he couldn't beg without offering something, possibly even a poem or story, and that would get him fired. I hope you are receiving some good lyrics for the play. I would like to suggest you change the title. Even knowing what the letters stand for, the title is rather unwieldy.
Comment Written 26-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2022
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Your suggestion about the title is taken under advisement. Part of me likes its feeling of corporate separation from reality. If I do keep it, it will be after the initials are spelled out in a song in the first chapter. I started out doing it, but got side tracked. Thank you, Carol, for your interest.
Comment from John Ciarmello
Hmm? Begging? Some future events will illuminate a different scenario for Zachary (or perhaps for Mr. Kincade) before next week's appointment. I can't wait to get the next post. Another great scene, Jay! Best, JohnC
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reply by the author on 27-Dec-2022
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Hmm? Begging? Some future events will illuminate a different scenario for Zachary (or perhaps for Mr. Kincade) before next week's appointment. I can't wait to get the next post. Another great scene, Jay! Best, JohnC
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Comment Written 26-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2022
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Don't hold your breath until the next chapter, John. Ain't gonna be. The circle was complete with his leaving. The whole thing has to be brought together by music now. I'll be doing that over the next several months, along with shortening it, and getting it formatted for the stage. Again, thank you, for caring, John.
Jay
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Got it!
Comment from lancellot
Hmm, well, I read previous act and I think this will be a script that takes it time. The writing and form itself is well done. The story, and plot, appear to require space and time to develop.
We'll see what materializes.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2022
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Hmm, well, I read previous act and I think this will be a script that takes it time. The writing and form itself is well done. The story, and plot, appear to require space and time to develop.
We'll see what materializes.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2022
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Not much space or time to develop it over, Lance. It's over. My job is to work on the lyrics now, do some heavy editing and format it for the stage. Thanks for reading.
Comment from Cindy Decker 2
Jay,
I like your play for a lot of reasons, but first because it was set in the Great Depression. My parents lived through that era, and they were never short on stories about it.
I like your overly-optimistic character, Zachary, the best.
Great play.
Good luck with all your work, Jay.
Blessings,
Cindy
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2022
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Jay,
I like your play for a lot of reasons, but first because it was set in the Great Depression. My parents lived through that era, and they were never short on stories about it.
I like your overly-optimistic character, Zachary, the best.
Great play.
Good luck with all your work, Jay.
Blessings,
Cindy
Comment Written 26-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2022
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Thank you, Cindy, for coming back to this scene. I appreciate your weighing in on the plot and characters. You are a valuable asset to my play's success.
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You?re welcome, Jay.
Comment from GWHARGIS
I am so proud of both Kincaid and Zachary. Both showed such wonderful character. Kincaid for being a real person and actually caring for the younger man and for Zachary for refusing to lower his bar and code of conduct. He has spoken of his ability to work hard. He has said he will do whatever it takes to get work. He proved it by simply not taking the demeaning job of begging. These two characters were incredible. I loved how their relationship shifted from that first awkward scene to the final scene where they seem to understand each other. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. Gretchen
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2022
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I am so proud of both Kincaid and Zachary. Both showed such wonderful character. Kincaid for being a real person and actually caring for the younger man and for Zachary for refusing to lower his bar and code of conduct. He has spoken of his ability to work hard. He has said he will do whatever it takes to get work. He proved it by simply not taking the demeaning job of begging. These two characters were incredible. I loved how their relationship shifted from that first awkward scene to the final scene where they seem to understand each other. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. Gretchen
Comment Written 26-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2022
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Gretchen, you make me feel like it was all worthwhile. If you read some of the other reviews, some aren't even sure it's over. My job is just beginning. I'm going to work on the lyrics and get them put to music if I have to sing every song myself in order to give the director something to work with. (And you haven't heard my voice!)
Thank you so much for the six stars and for your in depth analysis. I'm going to try to give you a thumbs up, but I believe I already have this month ... and I'm not sure I have any left, anyway.