Reviews from

Quiet Lawyer

Viewing comments for Chapter 49 "Quiet Lawyer Chapter 24 A"
Can a broken heart be mended?

33 total reviews 
Comment from jmdg1954
Excellent
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First, my condolences to you and your family on the loss of your father- in-law last week. I lost both my parents (different years) during the Christmas season.

Your story certainly has not taken a back seat due to your family issues. Looks like your setting up is readers for a significant chapter(s) coming up.
Blessings to all. John

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2022


reply by the author on 11-Dec-2022
    Thank you for the encouragement. This novel is already finished. All I need to do is edit and post.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Excellent
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Oh, dear, I hope they're not headed for the Okay Corral! People got killed there!!

Good chapter, Barbara. Your stories move along slowly and steadily - they never seem rushed or forced. The romance is moving at a nice pace also, with Ali and Cord confident in their feelings for each other and not feeling the need to rush into the physical part.

Thank you for updating us on your father-in-law, as I was going to ask. We'll keep your family in our prayers during this very busy and emotional week ahead of you.

Look forward to the next chapter:-)

Check sentence: Fireplace. Almost the like a cattle drive.

Turning toward
Alexandra Cordero said, "Another one Mom strictly . . ." Comma after Alexandra


 Comment Written 11-Dec-2022


reply by the author on 11-Dec-2022
    Thank you for the catches. In my head, Bob spoke in short almost in non-sentences, but I can see where that would be confusing. I fixed it and added the comma. Thank you for the kind review and the prayers.
Comment from Ulla
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Barbara, I'm so sorry for your loss. It makes it harder when it's close to Christmas. You have a safe journey now to Saint Louis and back.
I loved the chapter and I'll be looking out for the next one. Ulla xx

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2022


reply by the author on 11-Dec-2022
    Thank you for the thoughts and the kind review.
Comment from Sankey
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Another interesting read. Cord is as bad as Ali forgetting they need the guys to watch out for them, with all that has happened. Just one suggested change. "If Dad [woul](ha)dn't have stepped in,

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2022


reply by the author on 11-Dec-2022
    Thank you for the suggestion. I always appreciate the help and the kind review.
Comment from lancellot
Excellent
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A brief chapter, but well written and edited from what I can tell reading through it. Cord, is living up to his ideals, and the readers are learning more about who and what kind of person he is.

Good work.

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2022


reply by the author on 11-Dec-2022
    Thank you for the kind review. I'll be in Illinois a good part of next week, but not at far North as you are. More in central Illinois.
Comment from nomi338
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I love it. There is nothing like the support one gets from a loving family. Although the people on the ranch are not all related by blood, they are united by love and a common concern for each other. Anyone not understanding that, who dares to go up against any one of them is opening the door to a world of pain. I love it.

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2022


reply by the author on 11-Dec-2022
    Thank you, family doesn't have to be blood. Sometimes the strongest bond is not blood. Thank you for this kind review and understanding.
Comment from JoannaN
Excellent
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This is a good part, and it is touching how Cordero and his family show Alexandra their support. Alexandra needs some quiet time now, and it is a good opportunity to show more of the Ortiz family.

"Nodding Cordero said" - I would reformulate this part.

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2022


reply by the author on 11-Dec-2022
    I changed that area a little. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Excellent
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Progress. Nice work.
"If Dad wouldn't have stepped in, she might've." - Sorry. I don't think Dad would've stepped in and diminished mom's authority. Switching never hurt bad, anyway.
Best wishes.

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2022


reply by the author on 11-Dec-2022
    LOL In Hispanic families Dad is the ultimate in control. Thank you for the kind review. If my husband would've stepped in, it might have been the last time he tried it. Thank you for the kind review.
reply by Wayne Fowler on 11-Dec-2022
    That's what I'm sayin'!
Comment from Ben Colder
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Good dialog, I have missed so much, but I am getting there. Your notes help. You make it interesting to see how someone can render help even if not wanted. LOL.

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2022


reply by the author on 11-Dec-2022
    Thank you for understanding. I appreciate your review.
Comment from Mario PIERRE
Excellent
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First of all, my deepest condolences for your loss. I had a special prayer for you and your family earlier in my devotion.
I reviewed one chapter before and I still feel this story is full of potential. The writing style is quite limpid and uncomplicated, which eases reading and comprehension. I just wanted to add again, it's just so powerful to end a chapter on a strong note, pushing the reader to want to turn the page. IDK, like in this one, after you write the 'okay corral', we could add:
Suddenly a scream filled the air. Cordero turned toward Alexandra. She was slouched against the car door.
Cordero's heart abruptly stopped...etc....or something like that.
Humbly yours,
Mario

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 Comment Written 11-Dec-2022


reply by the author on 11-Dec-2022
    This isn't the end of a chapter. It's only a section of one. I understand what you're saying, and will consider it, but it has to ring true to the characters and the story, not just there for effect. Thank you for the suggestion.