Comment from BethShelby

Excellent

Don't apologize. I hate to see this story end. I love the dialogue that you give to Miss Fanny. She is indeed and entertainer. You amaze me that you can create such a real character. I've known people who talk like Miss Fanny but for some reason, I'm surprised that you have.

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 Comment Written 24-Jul-2022

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reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022

Hi, Beth .... You are so very kind! The onliest one I had to pattern my Fanny's dialect on was my Grandmother of 70-some-odd years ago, who was very close to her Missouri roots. I fried up a lot of wilted lettuce in bacon fat for the old lady. She loved it like I love ice cream.

So happy to have had you along on this journey, Beth.
Jay

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi there,

More good progression here, Jay as everything unfolds. this tale has been told very well indeed.

So, ain't Pikki--- ain't should probably be capitalised.

thin's to Juni thet she hadn't oughta ... thins that only 'Lizabeth had th' right to tell her daughter--thin's - middle thins should probably be thin's.



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 Comment Written 24-Jul-2022

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reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022

You are such an eagle's eye, G. I took care of the "Ain't" and removed the apostrophes in "thins". One more scene till curtain ... well, except for a one-act epilogue after a hiatus of a week or so.

Again, thank you so much.

Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)

Exceptional

I would never blame you, as I am in the middle of discovering that scripts can grow uncontrollably. But I have difficulty seeing how you will manage to outshine this in another scene. You revealed so much here, so concisely and cleverly. Bravo! Kate xx

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2022

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reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022

Thank you so much, Kate. Please (though I adore them) save your valuable sixes for some other posts you read during the week. The next scene will end it in a surprise. And then ... after a hiatus of a week or so, you'll see a one-act epilogue to Fanny's story. You won't want to miss that.

reply by Katherine M. (k-11) on 25-Jul-2022

I try to give my six sixes fairly, according to a complex collection of criteria that I have devised. I am also one of the rare people who rarely runs out before the end of the week. It's odd that I have a slight tolerance level for new writers, so if there is a bit of minor fixing to do I give them the benefit of the doubt that I wouldn't grant to others. Otherwise, the name of the author does not come into the list (at work I used to be called the inhuman, emotionless robot). K

Comment from amahra

Exceptional

Ok, Fanny has redeemed herself. I now commend her for clearing up some stuff. So, Elizabeth's mom was Sojourner Truth. That's cool. Oh, and what a coincidence that the reporter needed more time...and the train just conveniently had rail trouble. Hmm...

Great job, Jay.

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2022

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reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022

Sorry, I was desperate to buy an hour's more time. That was pretty common during the early railroad years. I so do appreciate your reading this week after week. I'm happy you've found it worthwhile. Your six is a delight!
Jay