The Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer #7"America's First Female Comic
35 total reviews
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
I enjoyed reading this post, although I haven't read Act I .
This is well written and well presented.
The use of slang within the dialogue adds dimension and authenticity.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
  |
I enjoyed reading this post, although I haven't read Act I .
This is well written and well presented.
The use of slang within the dialogue adds dimension and authenticity.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
-
Many thanks, K.L. Glad to have you aboard.
Comment from lyenochka
I feel like this answered a lot of questions for me, Jay. The prior ending left much open ended. In this Robert was able to ask all the questions the reader wanted to ask (ex: about Miss Fanny's father and the lack of the trial etc.) Miss Fanny answered while staying completely in the personality we've become used to from her. Great job.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
 |
I feel like this answered a lot of questions for me, Jay. The prior ending left much open ended. In this Robert was able to ask all the questions the reader wanted to ask (ex: about Miss Fanny's father and the lack of the trial etc.) Miss Fanny answered while staying completely in the personality we've become used to from her. Great job.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
-
I'm so pleased you found some worth in this scene, Helen. It's getting so tiresome to write (keeping dialect consistent, etc.), that I'm hoping I can rein it in after the next couple of scenes. I wish you wouldn't feel you should reward this with a six, but I must admit, it's a good feeling to see that extra chartreuse glitter!
-
Your writing is always on a professional level, Jay. I don't always have sixes.
-
That is a sweet thing to say, Helen! Thank you.
Comment from Annette R.
I did read the first scene and commented I had difficulty with the dialect. Not so much difficulty this time. It says to completion, but it seems there's more to tell so perhaps there will be a scene 3 or an Act III.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
|
I did read the first scene and commented I had difficulty with the dialect. Not so much difficulty this time. It says to completion, but it seems there's more to tell so perhaps there will be a scene 3 or an Act III.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
-
Oh ... I hope that didn't confuse a lot of people. Scene two was in two parts. Otherwise it would have been insufferably long. No, as I see it, there should be about three more scenes to the final curtain.
-
Oh, I'm probably the only one confused as my reading of scripts is limited and therefore my comments are too.
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello, Jay!
Well, Miss Fanny may be "incomparable," but you, fine sir, are "incomparable x ten!"
What a joy it was to read your offering.
I enjoyed its pace, dialogue, and of course, the character of Miss Fanny.
Clever and realistic development and presentation of dialect, but Miss Fanny's characterization tops all!
So pleased I dropped in today, Jay!
Thank you for sharing!
diane
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
|
Hello, Jay!
Well, Miss Fanny may be "incomparable," but you, fine sir, are "incomparable x ten!"
What a joy it was to read your offering.
I enjoyed its pace, dialogue, and of course, the character of Miss Fanny.
Clever and realistic development and presentation of dialect, but Miss Fanny's characterization tops all!
So pleased I dropped in today, Jay!
Thank you for sharing!
diane
Comment Written 24-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
-
Oh, Diane, Diane, Diane! What a joy it is to read your commentary. Thank you so very much, not just for the six, but the kind words you delivered it in!
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
I realise you are trying to create and sustain a certain mood, but this slow eking out of information is grinding me down, somewhat. I understand Fanny is elderly, but she seems sharp enough. I would have thought she could focus better.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
|
I realise you are trying to create and sustain a certain mood, but this slow eking out of information is grinding me down, somewhat. I understand Fanny is elderly, but she seems sharp enough. I would have thought she could focus better.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
-
Haha! Katherine, I fully understand your feeling. And the funny thing about her is that she would have no trouble getting her entire story out in a couple of scenes ... but she was cursed in having me, with my focus (or lack of), putting the words in her mouth. Thank you for hanging in there, though!
Comment from Sally Law
Fantastic writing, Jay. Tuckered me out, but so worth it. My blind reader has trouble with this, so I have to read it myself or try to. A magnificent work and characters depicted so well in a most difficult time.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2022
|
Fantastic writing, Jay. Tuckered me out, but so worth it. My blind reader has trouble with this, so I have to read it myself or try to. A magnificent work and characters depicted so well in a most difficult time.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs
Comment Written 24-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2022
-
Bless you, Sally. It touches my soul to have you engage in my writing under such arduous conditions.
Comment from John Ciarmello
I loved it, Jay, but then again, I always do. I'm going to miss this write when you've finished. I hope you have something else as good in the vault. Thanks for the read. Oh, when are they going to finish those damn sticky berry crullers? Lol. Take care.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2022
|
I loved it, Jay, but then again, I always do. I'm going to miss this write when you've finished. I hope you have something else as good in the vault. Thanks for the read. Oh, when are they going to finish those damn sticky berry crullers? Lol. Take care.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2022
-
It's been grand to have you along this journey, John. Fanny has been a hard taskmaster. As I see it, she'll have me on her leash for about three more scenes.
-
Oh, good! I'm going to miss that woman, lol. Take care, Jay.
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Jay,
The ongoing saga is unfolding a little at a time. I suspect it's terribly time consuming to come up with the dialogue, but you're doing a good job. Very interesting. Keep it coming.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2022
|
Hello Jay,
The ongoing saga is unfolding a little at a time. I suspect it's terribly time consuming to come up with the dialogue, but you're doing a good job. Very interesting. Keep it coming.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
Comment Written 24-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2022
-
You've got that right, Tom. It's not unusual to spend an hour on one small segment of her dialect. It has to be read aloud. The speech rhythm demands it. Thank you so much for hanging in there. And then to award me with a six! I'm humbled!
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Jay,
What a terrific story in this play! It could easily be turned into a movie.
So, the reporter digs and digs, asking all the right questions, hoping for the truth. But it's like pulling teeth with Fanny. She beats around the bush so much, not wanting to let the story go. But you know, having the reporter there, allows the readers to be there... like we're asking the questions, getting to the bottom of the whole thing.
I'm starting to understand how it all went down. And how Fanny's dad got Juniper's father to come out. But then, he realized that the outcome of it all was death. He felt guilty, and hid around the side of the house. But finally, he couldn't take it anymore, rushing out to try to stop it. But Juniper's dad was up on the horse by then, rope around his neck. How do you stop a mob? Mobs are like monsters. The only thing on their minds is killing. Hatred. The guilt comes later. Or maybe not.
Excellent, as usual, Jay. Keep up the good work. You always leave us wanting more.
Cheers,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2022
|
Hi Jay,
What a terrific story in this play! It could easily be turned into a movie.
So, the reporter digs and digs, asking all the right questions, hoping for the truth. But it's like pulling teeth with Fanny. She beats around the bush so much, not wanting to let the story go. But you know, having the reporter there, allows the readers to be there... like we're asking the questions, getting to the bottom of the whole thing.
I'm starting to understand how it all went down. And how Fanny's dad got Juniper's father to come out. But then, he realized that the outcome of it all was death. He felt guilty, and hid around the side of the house. But finally, he couldn't take it anymore, rushing out to try to stop it. But Juniper's dad was up on the horse by then, rope around his neck. How do you stop a mob? Mobs are like monsters. The only thing on their minds is killing. Hatred. The guilt comes later. Or maybe not.
Excellent, as usual, Jay. Keep up the good work. You always leave us wanting more.
Cheers,
Kimbob
Comment Written 24-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2022
-
How I've been worried about this. You've set my mind to ease, my dear friend. Thank you. The reporter was a device, from the very beginning, to act as the reader's slowly developing comprehension of the facts, and the intent to keep pursuing Fanny for the full story. I'm so happy you got that aspect of it!
Comment from BethShelby
I love the dialogue between Miss fanny and Robert. He keeps pushing her to say some things she would have rather not said. She loved Juniper. She understands why Juniper did things the way she did but Robert is having trouble understanding. Your characters seem very real. I look forward to seeing who this interview will go when they are together again. Excellent writing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2022
|
I love the dialogue between Miss fanny and Robert. He keeps pushing her to say some things she would have rather not said. She loved Juniper. She understands why Juniper did things the way she did but Robert is having trouble understanding. Your characters seem very real. I look forward to seeing who this interview will go when they are together again. Excellent writing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2022
-
Thank you so much, Beth. You couldn't have said more to lighten my soul than that the characters seem very real.