The Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer #6"America's First Female Comic
34 total reviews
Comment from amahra
That story Fanny told about the killing was very dramatic; that was great writing, Jay. The beginning of your story seemed a bit confusing at first, but now I'm really into it. :)) I looked up Stickyberry Crullers and was pleased to have found today's French blueberry Crullers. Exciting chapter!
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2022
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That story Fanny told about the killing was very dramatic; that was great writing, Jay. The beginning of your story seemed a bit confusing at first, but now I'm really into it. :)) I looked up Stickyberry Crullers and was pleased to have found today's French blueberry Crullers. Exciting chapter!
Comment Written 10-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2022
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Awwwww, thanks, Amahra! A agree about the story's beginning (unless you mean the beginning of this scene); I wish I had left off the distracting Jail cell in the background, with Juniper sitting on the bed, reading Fanny's letter. That was so unnecessary and confusing. The ghost scene, later on, was important. Stickyberry is my invention, though crullers have been around for ages. Thank you for the six stars!
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No, I meant the first few chapters. It probably wasn't your fault. You're such a sophisticated writer, it probably just went over my head. lol
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No ... you're talking to one who knows your level of sophistication. It was the first few chapters I referred to with Juniper in her cell.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I have my tea and can't wait for intermission to be over. This was good before, but it's even better. I didn't think that was possible, but I was sooo wrong. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2022
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I have my tea and can't wait for intermission to be over. This was good before, but it's even better. I didn't think that was possible, but I was sooo wrong. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2022
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I am so pleased you enjoyed reading this, Barbara. It means a lot having you encouraging me.
Comment from robyn corum
Jay,
Wow. I do love your stories. (okay, we'll call them scripts.) I've never seen anybody who could pack more... more... MORE into a piece of writing. *smile* Backstory, emotion, sympathy, outrage, glimpses of the future, oh my. So much!
As usual, your work is flawless. It's always as if this actually happened and you were tapped on the shoulder by God to share it with all of us. *smile* I admit I like this story better than Cornelius -and I liked that quite a lot, though I wasn't able to keep up well.
Again, I've got myself in a pickle and bitten off more than I can chew. Or maybe JUST EXACTLY what I can chew without choking. hahaha I'm staying behind on everything!
If I don't get by just know it's me and never, ever you. Thanks so much!!
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2022
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Jay,
Wow. I do love your stories. (okay, we'll call them scripts.) I've never seen anybody who could pack more... more... MORE into a piece of writing. *smile* Backstory, emotion, sympathy, outrage, glimpses of the future, oh my. So much!
As usual, your work is flawless. It's always as if this actually happened and you were tapped on the shoulder by God to share it with all of us. *smile* I admit I like this story better than Cornelius -and I liked that quite a lot, though I wasn't able to keep up well.
Again, I've got myself in a pickle and bitten off more than I can chew. Or maybe JUST EXACTLY what I can chew without choking. hahaha I'm staying behind on everything!
If I don't get by just know it's me and never, ever you. Thanks so much!!
Comment Written 10-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2022
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Oh, Bless you, Robyn. Your six stars forever shine as a beacon. You always thrill me with your commentary, even on those occasions when you weren't that enamored by what you were reading (because, even then, you backed up your feelings with textual points). But this one ... oh my! All I can do is to blush and go back to how I started: Bless you, Robyn Corum!
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you
are
a
goof
but
I
adore you!
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
I enjoyed reading this chapter as it is well written and well presented. The font changes are effective and created a smooth read. The dialogue reads authenticity and flows naturally.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2022
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I enjoyed reading this chapter as it is well written and well presented. The font changes are effective and created a smooth read. The dialogue reads authenticity and flows naturally.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2022
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Thank you, K.L. Yes, I chose a large font and used bold for the dialogue in an earlier play because it appeals to the eye ... even though it makes the scroll-bar shrink down to near nothing.
Comment from Judy Lawless
I had to force my mind to stay focused when I read this, Jay; it tends to wander. But every word is so important to the plot in this scene, I couldn't miss anything. You've done an amazing job with this. I think I need one of those crullers and a coffee to go with it now. lol
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2022
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I had to force my mind to stay focused when I read this, Jay; it tends to wander. But every word is so important to the plot in this scene, I couldn't miss anything. You've done an amazing job with this. I think I need one of those crullers and a coffee to go with it now. lol
Comment Written 10-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2022
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Thanks, Judy. Yes, it does require more concentration for the reader (it would be less for an audience), mainly because of the multiple view points of the two witnesses, what Fanny distilled from their accounts, and her memory of being inside the tavern and hearing the shots as "pips". The Reporter, if a real person, would feel used since his purpose was to keep the reader on task by his rather pointed questions and responses. What really encourages me is that while you were challenged as you read, you thought enough of it to award me a six! That means a lot to me.
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You're most welcome, Jay. I didn't mind the challenge at all. I love the story. :)
Comment from Sally Law
Another six for this developing chapter. Miss Fanny has seen too much and knows the heavy burden of truth. It will be interesting to see how this ends and if any justice will be served.
Sending you my best today as always for this magnificence,
Sal XOs...
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2022
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Another six for this developing chapter. Miss Fanny has seen too much and knows the heavy burden of truth. It will be interesting to see how this ends and if any justice will be served.
Sending you my best today as always for this magnificence,
Sal XOs...
Comment Written 10-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2022
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Sally, you are a dear. Yeah, Miss Fanny carries a lot inside ... a tough burden for a comedian. I hope she will at some point feel that justice was served. Thank you so much for the six stars.
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You are most welcome. My pleasure. Sal :))
Comment from nomi338
Well, this was certainly worth the wait. Over time there have been many self appointed executioners of innocent people, wrongly killed to suit some prejudiced mindsets or greedy schemer's plans. Their day is coming either here in the present time or in the hereafter. Their punishment is sure to come nevertheless.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2022
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Well, this was certainly worth the wait. Over time there have been many self appointed executioners of innocent people, wrongly killed to suit some prejudiced mindsets or greedy schemer's plans. Their day is coming either here in the present time or in the hereafter. Their punishment is sure to come nevertheless.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2022
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Nolan, your words mean so much to me. I am stoked that you found especial meaning in this chapter. Thank you so much for the six lovely stars.
Comment from Annmuma
Of course another great scene. Each time, I think 'maybe I'll lose interest this time', but no -- you keep the reader engaged at every word. I can see the characters and hear their voices. Continues to be an exceptional read and, you are right, I am ready for Stickyberry - but think I'll settle for Danish this morning! ann
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2022
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Of course another great scene. Each time, I think 'maybe I'll lose interest this time', but no -- you keep the reader engaged at every word. I can see the characters and hear their voices. Continues to be an exceptional read and, you are right, I am ready for Stickyberry - but think I'll settle for Danish this morning! ann
Comment Written 10-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2022
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I love it, Ann! And I am so happy your interest is being sustained as the play moves forward. Your presence means so much to me.
Comment from BethShelby
Miss Fanny did an excellent job of relating the story of how Juniper got her revenge just the way she had planned it. I'm sure the reported wasn't disappointed in getting the full story. You are an excellent writer and you're managed to make me feel I'm in the audience watching all this play out.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2022
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Miss Fanny did an excellent job of relating the story of how Juniper got her revenge just the way she had planned it. I'm sure the reported wasn't disappointed in getting the full story. You are an excellent writer and you're managed to make me feel I'm in the audience watching all this play out.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2022
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Oh, Beth, thank you so very much. To say you felt like you were in the audience means so much to me. I appreciate your being such a loyal follower.
Comment from John Ciarmello
This is simply sensational writing, Jay. You have that rare, refreshing style which brings the reader into the scene. I felt Juniper's satisfaction in killing, Flourney. I sat on Fanny's porch. I sipped her tea and ate her stickyberry crullers. It was a nice change of scenery, and it got me out of the house, lol. Best wishes, Jay.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2022
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This is simply sensational writing, Jay. You have that rare, refreshing style which brings the reader into the scene. I felt Juniper's satisfaction in killing, Flourney. I sat on Fanny's porch. I sipped her tea and ate her stickyberry crullers. It was a nice change of scenery, and it got me out of the house, lol. Best wishes, Jay.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2022
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Hahaha! Glad to get you out of the house, John, and to offer this napkin to get that remnant of stickyberry off your moustache. Thank you so much, John, for being a follower of my play.
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My pleasure, and thanks for the napkin.