Football - A Novel
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "Football Chapter 10 part 3"A mother faces life's struggles.
29 total reviews
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is a grand chapter in your book. It is written so smoothly that reading it is fast and thorough. I can see everything in my mind's see as it is happening. Well written!
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2021
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This is a grand chapter in your book. It is written so smoothly that reading it is fast and thorough. I can see everything in my mind's see as it is happening. Well written!
Comment Written 31-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2021
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from lancellot
Very good and she didn't mean a date but actually she did. Katherine is human too, and adults have needs. Nature made it that way.
notes:
With a sigh, Katherine said, "You're incorrigible."
-how about:
Katherine sighed. "You're incorrigible."
"This [is] too much. You really didn't need to do this."
- missing word?
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2021
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Very good and she didn't mean a date but actually she did. Katherine is human too, and adults have needs. Nature made it that way.
notes:
With a sigh, Katherine said, "You're incorrigible."
-how about:
Katherine sighed. "You're incorrigible."
"This [is] too much. You really didn't need to do this."
- missing word?
Comment Written 31-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2021
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It is missing a word. I have a bad habit of leaving little words out and when I edit, I read the sentence as if it's there. The reason I said "With a sigh" is because two sentences up I started a sentence with Katherine and have been gigged for starting the sentences alike. I did change it because it reads better. Thank you for the help.
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear barbara, I am not a picky reader, when it comes to punctuation or spelling, because I'm not good at either.
As long as the story and the characters are interesting I will be a faithful reader.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2021
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Dear barbara, I am not a picky reader, when it comes to punctuation or spelling, because I'm not good at either.
As long as the story and the characters are interesting I will be a faithful reader.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2021
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Lyn Peters
I was a little confused by the flow of your story (probably the reader, not the writer). I had the impression that the fish the boys brought home was going to be dinner but a little later in the piece it seems dinner is already made. I'm sure I missed something in the reading. I'll go back and pick up some previous chapters...that will probably help sort me out. Wishing you all the best.
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reply by the author on 31-Jan-2021
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I was a little confused by the flow of your story (probably the reader, not the writer). I had the impression that the fish the boys brought home was going to be dinner but a little later in the piece it seems dinner is already made. I'm sure I missed something in the reading. I'll go back and pick up some previous chapters...that will probably help sort me out. Wishing you all the best.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2021
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I am not sure I should get a low rating because you have not read the story from the beginning, but it is what it is. Thank you for dropping by.
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Barbara:
Some of my favorite childhood memories are of fishing with
different members of my family - either from the shore of
ponds my dad built or from fishing from a pier. Cleaning the
fish was never one of my favorite things to do but I suppose
it prepared me for biology class. Another great chapter.
Rdfrdmom2
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2021
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Barbara:
Some of my favorite childhood memories are of fishing with
different members of my family - either from the shore of
ponds my dad built or from fishing from a pier. Cleaning the
fish was never one of my favorite things to do but I suppose
it prepared me for biology class. Another great chapter.
Rdfrdmom2
Comment Written 31-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2021
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I'm sure cleaning fish did. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Barb
this chapter I'm getting the feeling that in the near future there a romance starting, then I hesitate when Gabriel said to Katerine it's definitely not a date makes us readers wonder if Gabriel is ready to tie the knot.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2021
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Barb
this chapter I'm getting the feeling that in the near future there a romance starting, then I hesitate when Gabriel said to Katerine it's definitely not a date makes us readers wonder if Gabriel is ready to tie the knot.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2021
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LOl Thank you for the kind review. Their relationship will be complicated.
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You are welcome Barb.
Comment from Ulla
Awe, Barbara, isn't this just too sweet. They are circling around each other, but at last it seems that some progress is in the making. The kids are very helpful. And, of course, it's not a date!!! Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2021
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Awe, Barbara, isn't this just too sweet. They are circling around each other, but at last it seems that some progress is in the making. The kids are very helpful. And, of course, it's not a date!!! Ulla:)))
Comment Written 31-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2021
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It is in NO way a date!!!!!! LOL Thank you for the kind review.
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Okay!!! hehe
Comment from Sankey
I really enjoy all my favourite storytellers. This was yet another great chapter. I love how things are developing with Katherine and Gabriel. I love her boys, too. Seems like she might have raised them on her own? One spag."I have (a)problem.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2021
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I really enjoy all my favourite storytellers. This was yet another great chapter. I love how things are developing with Katherine and Gabriel. I love her boys, too. Seems like she might have raised them on her own? One spag."I have (a)problem.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2021
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I have made the corrections. Katherine did raise the boys on her own. Thank you.
Comment from royowen
Beautifully written, Katherine might be overdoing the pride thing, but everybody is matchmaking, but I don't think they're being intrusive, I think everybody likes to see two single well matched, well done Barbara, blessings Roy
Typo : Bill met him (parkway) partway? 2 : (were) we thought they should go. Where?
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reply by the author on 31-Jan-2021
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Beautifully written, Katherine might be overdoing the pride thing, but everybody is matchmaking, but I don't think they're being intrusive, I think everybody likes to see two single well matched, well done Barbara, blessings Roy
Typo : Bill met him (parkway) partway? 2 : (were) we thought they should go. Where?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2021
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Thank you for the help. I appreciate it.
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Most welcome Barbara,