Reviews from

A Fly on the Wall

Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Unquestioning Loyalty"
A journal musings and assessments about situations

23 total reviews 
Comment from Heather Knight
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Omen indeed! It's a bittersweet anecdote...
I can relate with what you say here. Last summer was bad for us: my sister (48) and my father-in-law (94) passed away. My daughter was upset about both, but more so about her grandpa...
Thanks so much for sharing.

 Comment Written 13-May-2019


reply by the author on 13-May-2019
    Wow, what a horrible summer for you!! I'm so sorry to read that, Maria. xo

    Thank you for this nice review.
Comment from Michele Harber
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OMG, this is so true! My daughter is still mourning Papa's death over a year ago and, although Papa suffered from Alzheimer's in his last years, the one thing he never forgot was his granddaughter and how much he loved her. Like most elderly people with or without Alzheimer's, his short-term memory was shot, and he repeated himself frequently. The one thing he always repeated, with a big smile on his face, whenever my daughter was near, was, "Isn't she beautiful? Just look at that face." If he had to repeat something ad infinitum (or ad nauseum), I suppose it could have been worse.

The signature on Owen's work was absolutely precious, and a true testament of his devotion to - and trust in - his almighty grandfather.

 Comment Written 13-May-2019


reply by the author on 13-May-2019
    I love this vignette, Michele. So warm and touching about your dad.

    Thank you for the lovely review. xo
reply by Michele Harber on 13-May-2019
    You're very welcome, and thank you as well for your sweet comments about my story about my dad and Leah.
Comment from Sandra Elizabeth Williams
Exceptional
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I foresee this coming week at the office being a very hectic one, and I know I'm gonna get through it when I remember this story, Rachelle. Hahaha! I really can't stop laughing.

This is devotion to the highest degree. It is a bit sad, knowing Owen's granddad had Alzheimer's, but it's also so adorable of the boy.


 Comment Written 13-May-2019


reply by the author on 13-May-2019
    Yep; a child's unwavering trust is a wonderful thing, indeed.

    Good luck at the office this week, Sandra!! I guess you could call this story a good omen!!

    Thanks for the delightful review. xo
reply by Sandra Elizabeth Williams on 13-May-2019
    You're very welcome, Rachelle...and thanks for your kind wishes.

    My very best.
Comment from 24chas
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This was hilarious in sad sort of way, but still funny. We have to laugh at things like this or we'd go crazy. And only your talented pen could catch it and write it in a sensitive manner in which no one feels bad. Great job, Rachelle.

 Comment Written 12-May-2019


reply by the author on 12-May-2019
    Thank you, 24chas. I appreciate your sweet words here. xo
Comment from doggymad1
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So true my friend. Grandparents have the time, and nowadays the energy, to indulge their grand children.

Alzheimers is a dreadful disease, but it does thankfully have its lighter moments

hugs
Freda

 Comment Written 12-May-2019


reply by the author on 12-May-2019
    Agree, 100 percent.
    Thanks for the review. xo
Comment from Alex Rosel
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"And remember: it's 1928, Owen!" Then he added, "And you need to stop writing the W that's in your name upside down."

Having cared for a mother with Alzheimer's Disease, I can relate to this. However, the culminating paragraph seems disjointed to those proceeding it. Certainly, I appreciate these posts are just musings, and musing often don't necessarily consist of a logical progression of thought, but it grated a little with me. Just a thought.

Having said that, your prose is a nice read. Thank you.

 Comment Written 12-May-2019


reply by the author on 12-May-2019
    I'd love your suggestions, Alex, because you are not the first reviewer who's mentioned this. The point was that his name is Owen, but his grandfather tells him he's making his W's upside down, which means he'll be writing "Omen" all day on his papers, and "1928." But I'm thinking that's not getting across to the reader. I'd so love your input.

    Thank you for the very nice review. xo
reply by Alex Rosel on 12-May-2019
    I get the Owen/Omen thing. From my connect of experience that?s the kind of confusion typical in dementia sufferers. My comment really concerned the narrative disconnect between the last paragraph and the preceding narrative.
reply by the author on 12-May-2019
    Thanks to your feedback, I just did a little edit. I'd love your thoughts on it.
Comment from susand3022
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It took me a minute this time Rachelle... but I got there! Hahahahaha!!! I was sitting there thinking, "Poor guy, thinks it's 1928... I wonder if the kid's going to be confused for life..." Then I'm thinking, "so what... lots of kids make their letters wrong..." I just moved on... for some reason I went back to it and looked at Owen with the W upsidedown! LOL That was really funny! Do these things really happen??? All of them???

 Comment Written 12-May-2019


reply by the author on 12-May-2019
    Yes, honest to G-d; this truly did happen. I saw one of the papers the next time I was at their house, and it read "Omen, 1928."
reply by susand3022 on 12-May-2019
    Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!
Comment from judiverse
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You are right-on about the devotion kids can develop for their grandparents. I felt that way about the grandparents on my mother's side, but not so much with my dad's parents. Excellent introduction. You really show the boy's devotion to his grandfather. It must be hard for a youngster to understand when his grandfather comes down with Alzheimer's and starts making mistakes like this one. I did think the ending was a bit confusing. Maybe he could say something like stop writing your name Omen. It's Owen. just a thought. Maybe even spell it out. Have a great day. judi

 Comment Written 12-May-2019


reply by the author on 12-May-2019
    No, no; it was just the opposite. Owen was writing them properly, but after his grandfather said that, he began writing his name "Omen." But you're not the first person who thought this, so you're right; I definitely need to do something to clarify. Thank you for the head's up. xo
reply by judiverse on 12-May-2019
    It wasn't clear to me that the child was starting to write his name Omen. Maybe I'm slow. judi
reply by the author on 12-May-2019
    No - there were other reviewers here today who didn't get it, either. So I realized I didn't communicate it well and have now done an edit. If you feel like reading it and letting me know if that helps, I'd love your feedback, Judi. xo
reply by judiverse on 13-May-2019
    I did read the revision, and that certainly made it much clearer. judi
reply by the author on 13-May-2019
    Okay; good. Thanks for doing that. xo
Comment from rama devi
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Another interesting share. Amazing that his Grandpa thought it was 1928~ I'm not sure what the ending of 'stop writing your W's upside down' was all about. Just random nonsense from Alzheimer's or is there some reference I'm missing?

I enjoyed the opening Biblical reference...and especially loved the subtly satirical wit here:

t seems there's something just this side of magical about the level of devotion between the two generations. They do share a lot: sparse hair, a slower pace, the appreciation of life's simple things, and, most of all, their loyalty to each other.

This reads like a well penned short blog post. Nice work.

Warmly, rd

 Comment Written 12-May-2019


reply by the author on 12-May-2019
    The boy child's name is Owen. So if he writes his W's like M's,the way Grandpa suggests...

    Is there a way to better get this across?

    Thank you, as always, Rama. I love reading your reviews. xo
reply by rama devi on 12-May-2019
    I did wonder if you were hinting at omen...perhaps other readers will get it. Part of why I'm reviewing here is my brain is too foggy at the moment to do my professional editing. I only edit for clients when all cylinders are charged. Since I am recovering from the flu, I get periods of foggy-brain intermittently during the day. If I read this with focused-brain, it might have been more clear to me. So, I'd not worry about changing it, dear.
reply by the author on 12-May-2019
    Alright then, thanks!

    I'm glad to read you're on the mend, but it IS a long process. The flu is immensely debilitating!! xo
reply by rama devi on 12-May-2019
    I am almost fully better, thankfully. The mild cough never went into the chest. Sometimes those can linger. Still not full energy but much better than yesterday. Making progress with your book in short intermittent spurts. Will get longer editing runs during this week.

    Hugs,
    rd
reply by the author on 12-May-2019
    That's fine. I'm in no rush. xo
reply by rama devi on 12-May-2019
    Yes, the book will shine its best if there is no rush...so that's perfect!
Comment from Colin John
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Hi Rachelle , a lovely write and with reference to the bible makes complete sense as the story goes on . I could see no snags and thanks for sharing these thoughts xx

 Comment Written 12-May-2019


reply by the author on 12-May-2019
    Thank you, Colin. I hoped, as a Grandpa, you could identify with this one! xo