Reviews from

Lessons in the Key of Life

Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Unexpected Artistry"
A music and dance teacher's improvization

22 total reviews 
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
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LOL! I really don't know what to say about a dog pooping the alphabet. I had three dogs for twelve years, and not one of them even came close to writing a letter. But then there was Kyra, my little spotted dog, who pooped out the Mona Lisa. We had it framed and hung in the foyer.

J/k :)

 Comment Written 12-May-2019


reply by the author on 12-May-2019
    Okay, Phyllis; you win! I do want to see a photo, though. Pretty please?!

    Thanks for the great review. xo
reply by Phyllis Stewart on 12-May-2019
    I tried to take a picture, but my camera jammed and is now useless. I tried with my phone, and it exploded. I'm afraid to try again, because now I think it's possessed by a demon. You may come here and look at it, though. But you'd better wear goggles, since the hot steam it gives off burns the eyes.
reply by the author on 12-May-2019
    Yes; I'll be on the next flight out. Thank you! xo
Comment from susand3022
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Hi Rachelle!!! That piano mom is so totally me!!! LOL, I had my son writing notes to the Tooth Fairy and asking her questions! This all started with his first tooth... because he swallowed it when it came out and he had to leave her a note! LOL But I (the Tooth Fairy) answered each of them in detail and he was enthralled and couldn't wait to lose another tooth so he could ask something else! LOL

 Comment Written 12-May-2019


reply by the author on 12-May-2019
    You gave your son such a magical childhood, Susan!! Go you! xo
Comment from damommy
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That's just something my boys would have had me look at when they were little. Children find the most unusual and amazing things sometimes. I'm glad that little boy wasn't made to feel embarrassed.

 Comment Written 12-May-2019


reply by the author on 12-May-2019
    I love this about children. And how accurate their assessments are, too!!! Quite reliable, more times than not!

    Thanks for the fun review, damommy. xo
Comment from Louise Michelle
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LOL - this takes the cake, Rachelle. Actually, it's reminding me of a scene from the movie, "Running With Scissors." Where the crazy psychiatrist made his wife dry his poops outside, thinking they were a message from God. This was fun to read. Hugs, Lou

 Comment Written 12-May-2019


reply by the author on 12-May-2019
    Sorry I missed THAT movie!! Thanks for the delightful review, as always. xo
Comment from Scarbrems
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Ha ha, brilliant. Children really do come out with it. Charming and engaging. I'm glad you went for a look, I'll bet it was a sight to behold. Wonderful writing, can see why you're book of the month.

 Comment Written 12-May-2019


reply by the author on 12-May-2019
    It was certainly something I'll never forget!! (as in Kate is now 30 years old!!)

    Thanks for the very encouraging review, Sarkems.
Comment from Michele Harber
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This is a very cute and sweet story. I respect that the adults all humored the child, recognizing that, while the situation may have been silly and unimportant to them, it was a source of wonder and amazement to the child. My one hesitation, again, is that there was no sort of introduction here and, as a result, I, who have read all your other stories, thought the "piano mom" was the mother of your student, Kate (a la "Dance Moms" being the self-absorbed parents of those talented dance students). You can get away without a formal introduction simply by adding "(adult piano students)" after "piano moms." By having already prefaced the phrase with "my," you will have then established that she's your student and, therefore, you're a piano teacher teaching a lesson. Thus, those three words set the scene, make the introduction and answer questions. Boy those three words are useful li'l buggers.

Here's my answer to your question for the next chapter. The student and the dog change places. You complain about the child not practicing so, consequently, the student hates your guts. The dog doesn't have to practice doing that, since he, she or it was doing that anyway. This was too easy. Next time I'm taking on the Riddle of the Sphinx.

 Comment Written 12-May-2019


reply by the author on 12-May-2019
    Great idea; I'll get right to that. Thank you, Michelle! xo

    And, yep, you nailed next week's chapter. No need to read it whatsoever!! lol
reply by Michele Harber on 12-May-2019
    Have a wonderful Mother's Day, my FSBFF!
reply by the author on 12-May-2019
    And the same to you! xo
reply by Michele Harber on 12-May-2019
    Xoxoxo
Comment from rama devi
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Hi dear! I'm enjoying your book. Your writing voice has so much wit and wisdom! I also love how you depict the scenes in such a way that I am right there in them, experiencing it directly. Even though there is some telling-not-showing, your descriptive caliber and style are so good it makes up for it.


It does need tightening, in general, and also fewer run-on sentences. Actually, this chapter has a good example of that:

While her kindergarten-aged daughter, Kate, and their bulldog, Spike, played in their fenced-in back yard, one of my piano moms began a beautiful rendition of Fur Elise, phrasing well, fingering to perfection, and controlling the tempo with panache and aplomb.


HUGE run on sentence! Also, backyard is one word, I believe.
Suggest:


While her kindergarten-aged daughter, Kate, and their bulldog, Spike, played in their fenced-in backyard, one of my piano moms began a beautiful rendition of Fur Elise. She phrased well, fingering to perfection, and controlled the tempo with panache and aplomb.

BY the way, while editing the book, I am focused on what can be improved, whereas while reviewing on FS, I also focus on applause . (There is much in your work that is worthy of praise).

One of the things I love most about your prose (aside from tone and tenor and personality infused in each line) is the musicality in phrasing phonetics making your prose quite poetic. The run on sentence above is a good example, as it has such a fine medley of alliteration (B, P, K, F) and consonance and assonance as well. Bravo.

*"Sure!" she invited, and out we all hurried to the back yard where, sure enough, there was a plump, picture-perfect calligraphy-style "R" in doggy-doo.

NOTE: "invited" is not a speech tag! So here, I suggest an action tag. Example:

"Sure!" She waved invitation, and out we all hurried to the back yard where, sure enough, there was a plump, picture-perfect calligraphy-style "R" in doggy-doo.


YOu have the most interesting and unique anecdote-stories, dear! I also like the style of summing up the lessons whimsically (and wisely).

Anyway, this review is for your whole book...not just this chapter.

Now, I'll get back to the actual book!

Love,
rd

 Comment Written 12-May-2019


reply by the author on 12-May-2019
    Thank you, Rama, for your insights and editing talents. I will, of course, tackle them at once. I appreciate all the positive reinforcements, too. xo
reply by rama devi on 12-May-2019
    Yes! I enjoy all those positive aspects...and want you to know my applause is silently laced through your book, but when editing, I focus solely on the improvement aspects so as not to miss any. One has to consider so many things at once, while editing, and I find the critique becomes more effective if my focus is not 'watered down' by noting all the pluses. However, some clients are sensitive and feel discouraged when praises are not noted. If figure you are not in that category, considering the high-achieving parent's high bar of expectation you grew up with, dear NY Jew-sis!


    Love,
    rd
reply by the author on 12-May-2019
    Oh, gosh, no!! I love Bottom-Line editing work. For me, that is EXACTLY the way to go. Your instincts were totally right, Rama. Not to worry!! xo
reply by rama devi on 12-May-2019
    Exactly. It is a far superior method, but not all my clients can handle it without getting discouraged, so I custom tailor my approach to suit each client. You and I are so similar...
reply by the author on 12-May-2019
    That is a really wonderful thought for me, Rama. xo
reply by rama devi on 12-May-2019
    Ditto! xxoo
Comment from Debra White
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Brilliant!!
What a clever dog LOL
I just love the fun and the joy in this piece, Rachelle :)
The innocence and enthusiasm of Kate, you enjoying and appreciating your student's talent, and then the bulldog's bum calligraphy!
Perfect ingredients for an enjoyable and entertaining read.
Loved it!
Best wishes as always, Debra :) x

 Comment Written 12-May-2019


reply by the author on 12-May-2019
    Thank you, Debra! xo
Comment from A. Willow Bends
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Hilarious. At least they didn't imply the R stood for Rachelle! You certainly have accumulated material to publish a book throughout your lesson giving journey. This is hilarious!
Wendy

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 Comment Written 12-May-2019


reply by the author on 12-May-2019
    Oh, haha! You're right! (Though, fortunately in this case, my students call me "Shelley.")

    I do have a trove of stories! Next week is the perfect ending for this chapter on pets.
Comment from 24chas
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is really funny, Rachelle. At least it wasn't spelling out Help Me or something like that. :) I love the way you find lessons in everyday life and can apply it in such a meaningful way. Well done, my friend.

 Comment Written 12-May-2019


reply by the author on 12-May-2019
    Thank you, 24chas. I look at it this way: G-d has given me a sense of humor, so I'd be remiss if I didn't take advantage of all these opportunities I'm given to use it!

    Thanks for the terrific review. xo