The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 41 "A FaceTime Call"A Novel
29 total reviews
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Tony.A fine addition to your "Letter"
I particularly liked the dialogue exchanges on Face Time. Like
""Oh, my God! I had no idea. You mean the one that sold for squillions of dollars in New York not long ago? That probably explains why he's so bitter. Your meeting prompted him to have it out with the colonel's grandson but, initially, he couldn't get anywhere near him." (Well stated I thought)
Suggestions: In the States "getting pissed" is a shortcut term for "getting pissed off" (or irritated) which could be a bit confusing here, even though it is probably frequently used in the UK as a term referring to getting drunk. I suggest there must be another way to express this in order to prevent any question. (Just sayin)
Also: "The flics were called in and carted him off. (Again, it's all in the translation. What is another word for "flic?")
Good write, my friend. Bob
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
  |
Hi, Tony.A fine addition to your "Letter"
I particularly liked the dialogue exchanges on Face Time. Like
""Oh, my God! I had no idea. You mean the one that sold for squillions of dollars in New York not long ago? That probably explains why he's so bitter. Your meeting prompted him to have it out with the colonel's grandson but, initially, he couldn't get anywhere near him." (Well stated I thought)
Suggestions: In the States "getting pissed" is a shortcut term for "getting pissed off" (or irritated) which could be a bit confusing here, even though it is probably frequently used in the UK as a term referring to getting drunk. I suggest there must be another way to express this in order to prevent any question. (Just sayin)
Also: "The flics were called in and carted him off. (Again, it's all in the translation. What is another word for "flic?")
Good write, my friend. Bob
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
-
Thanks, Bob. Glad you enjoyed it. As always, I appreciate your input. I've made a few amendments to the chapter now, based on feedback from various reviewers. Very kind of you to award a sixth star. All the best, Tony
Comment from Ulla
Hi Tony, another wonderful chapter to your book. I was starting to miss it and then my prayers were heard. It's as intriguing as ever. A shame the connection was interrupted with Kayla. Now we will be back to Brockenhurst and whatever that will reveal. All best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
 |
Hi Tony, another wonderful chapter to your book. I was starting to miss it and then my prayers were heard. It's as intriguing as ever. A shame the connection was interrupted with Kayla. Now we will be back to Brockenhurst and whatever that will reveal. All best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
-
Thanks, Ulla. Glad you enjoyed this chapter. I'm finding it hard to keep up the frequency of posting while I'm doing this rhyming course with Pantygynt. All the best, Tony
Comment from Pantygynt
I hadn't realised till I read this how one can interact with people all over the globe in a novel using a tablet. I did like the bit where he places it face down. I thought that a good wheeze. Another interesting episode in this fairly lengthy tale.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
|
I hadn't realised till I read this how one can interact with people all over the globe in a novel using a tablet. I did like the bit where he places it face down. I thought that a good wheeze. Another interesting episode in this fairly lengthy tale.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
-
The iPad gives the writer a bit more scope than a telephone conversation - especially in the hands of the an inept user!
Comment from Gail Denham
Well done. The mystery develops - although perhaps this is part of a larger story - a continued novel. I very much appreciate your weaving in dialog with action and with any description or back story. Good job.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
|
Well done. The mystery develops - although perhaps this is part of a larger story - a continued novel. I very much appreciate your weaving in dialog with action and with any description or back story. Good job.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
-
Many thanks for your supportive comments, Gail. Much appreciated. Tony
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Oh dear, it seems like our internet connections are the same!! Well, all this has mixed the pot up a bit, hasn't it? Now Charles has another good reason to go back to Paris. I'm glad about that. I love 'squillions' lol! Right, let's get his case packed and get back to where it's all happening. If you want, I'll come and look after the cottage!! :)) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
|
Oh dear, it seems like our internet connections are the same!! Well, all this has mixed the pot up a bit, hasn't it? Now Charles has another good reason to go back to Paris. I'm glad about that. I love 'squillions' lol! Right, let's get his case packed and get back to where it's all happening. If you want, I'll come and look after the cottage!! :)) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
-
Thanks for this review, Sandra, and for the six stars. I suspect that it won't be long before Charles heads back to Paris. All the best, Tony
-
Thanks for this review, Sandra, and for the six stars. I suspect that it won't be long before Charles heads back to Paris. All the best, Tony
-
Thanks for this review, Sandra, and for the six stars. I suspect that it won't be long before Charles heads back to Paris. All the best, Tony
Comment from giraffmang
Yep, I'm with Charles on this one. Being disconnected can be such a blessing. lol
I also hate facetime with a huge passion.
very well written instalment, filling in some more info.
technically on point as far as I can tell.
All the best
G
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
|
Yep, I'm with Charles on this one. Being disconnected can be such a blessing. lol
I also hate facetime with a huge passion.
very well written instalment, filling in some more info.
technically on point as far as I can tell.
All the best
G
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
-
Thanks for this review, Gareth, and for the six stars. All the best, Tony
-
Thanks for this review, Gareth, and for the six stars. All the best, Tony
-
Thanks for this review, Gareth, and for the six stars. All the best, Tony
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi, Tony,
I do think it was awfully cheeky of Kayla to demand to be heard. Her comments about wondering where he was were rude. He's a grown man and if he wants to go to the local pub to get pissed, what business is it of hers?
(Sorry, I tend to get mad at fictional characters when they get out of line.)
Absolutely loved this chapter and the information we were able to glean along with Charles. Truly looking forward to his return to Paris.
~patty~
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
|
Hi, Tony,
I do think it was awfully cheeky of Kayla to demand to be heard. Her comments about wondering where he was were rude. He's a grown man and if he wants to go to the local pub to get pissed, what business is it of hers?
(Sorry, I tend to get mad at fictional characters when they get out of line.)
Absolutely loved this chapter and the information we were able to glean along with Charles. Truly looking forward to his return to Paris.
~patty~
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
-
Thanks for this review, Patty. These Culverson girls do seem to get a bit cheeky at times, but I think Charles can look after himself! I suspect that it won't be long now before he heads back to Paris. All the best, Tony
-
Thanks for this review, Patty. These Culverson girls do seem to get a bit cheeky at times, but I think Charles can look after himself! I suspect that it won't be long now before he heads back to Paris. All the best, Tony
-
Thanks for this review, Patty. These Culverson girls do seem to get a bit cheeky at times, but I think Charles can look after himself! I suspect that it won't be long now before he heads back to Paris. All the best, Tony
Comment from Stephanie Launiu
A very well-written chapter. You are excellent at writing dialogue, which is a weak point for me. I believe this is the first chapter of your book that I've read, and looking forward to reading more. You have lots of details in this chapter; I just need to catch up on the story. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
|
A very well-written chapter. You are excellent at writing dialogue, which is a weak point for me. I believe this is the first chapter of your book that I've read, and looking forward to reading more. You have lots of details in this chapter; I just need to catch up on the story. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
-
Many thanks for your supportive comments about the dialogue, Stephanie. I?ve learned quite a bit from other writers here. It?s not an area that I?ve found easy either.
Comment from WryWriter
A fantastic reading experience. I really enjoyed this chapter. Ah, the mystery continues....
Some suggestions for your consideration:
turned the light on. (turned on the light.)
My hackles rose - at least, they would have (omit done) if I'd been a dog.
"Yes, I remember. He said that his grandmother (once) sat for Toulouse Lautrec(.) (omit tag on once.)
Your meeting prompted him to have it out with the colonel's grandson(,) but(omit ,) initially, he couldn't get anywhere near him
(omit There was) (N)no way he'd ever get an appointment,(;) so(,) he just waited outside the place until Arnoux turned up.
I had been about to tell her (I was about to tell her)
There was(,) now(,) no doubt in my mind that I would take up Brockenhurst's proposal. (or: Now, there was no doubt)
--------------
I had to laugh at the last paragraph. Sounds like my place. Was this an author's experience as well? LOL!
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
|
A fantastic reading experience. I really enjoyed this chapter. Ah, the mystery continues....
Some suggestions for your consideration:
turned the light on. (turned on the light.)
My hackles rose - at least, they would have (omit done) if I'd been a dog.
"Yes, I remember. He said that his grandmother (once) sat for Toulouse Lautrec(.) (omit tag on once.)
Your meeting prompted him to have it out with the colonel's grandson(,) but(omit ,) initially, he couldn't get anywhere near him
(omit There was) (N)no way he'd ever get an appointment,(;) so(,) he just waited outside the place until Arnoux turned up.
I had been about to tell her (I was about to tell her)
There was(,) now(,) no doubt in my mind that I would take up Brockenhurst's proposal. (or: Now, there was no doubt)
--------------
I had to laugh at the last paragraph. Sounds like my place. Was this an author's experience as well? LOL!
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
-
Thanks for this review, WryWriter, and for your many helpful suggestions. I have gone back and made a number of amendments. All the best, Tony
-
Thanks for this review, WryWriter, and for your many helpful suggestions. I have gone back and made a number of amendments. All the best, Tony
-
Thanks for this review, WryWriter, and for your many helpful suggestions. I have gone back and made a number of amendments. All the best, Tony
Comment from Pearl Edwards
I like the opening with the Face time dramas, before Charles got organised. Great chapter Tony, interesting times ahead as he heads back to Paris with Brockenhurst.Really enjoying this story,
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
|
I like the opening with the Face time dramas, before Charles got organised. Great chapter Tony, interesting times ahead as he heads back to Paris with Brockenhurst.Really enjoying this story,
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
-
Many thanks for your supportive comments and encouragement, Valda. I appreciate the sixth star, too! It?ll be interesting to see where Brockenhurst takes this. I haven?t quite worked that out yet!