Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

Your title and vivid picture selection certainly aroused my curiosity. I enjoyed your opening with its "childish banter" and all your dialog, plus the emotional conclusion. Cheers- Joan

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2018

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reply by the author on 24-Nov-2018

Thanks, Joan. I appreciate your review and comments. Best wishes, Tony

Comment from Sugarray77

Excellent

A very good and electrifying read.... the Moulin Rouge, as always shines in literature just like an overdressed gypsy. Thanks for sharing this lively rendition of their show and performers.


Regards,

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2018

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reply by the author on 24-Nov-2018

Thanks, Sugarray. I appreciate your review and comments. Best wishes, Tony

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

Probably around 35 years ago my husband and I went o Moulin Rouge. It was fascinating. I, again, enjoyed reading this post. It's a great addition to your previous posts. I am wondering if Helen will meet up with Kayla.

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2018

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reply by the author on 24-Nov-2018

Thanks, Barbara. I appreciate your review and comments. I've not been to the Moulin Rouge, so hope that my description wasn't too far off the mark. Best wishes, Tony

Comment from Ulla

Excellent

Hi Tony. I need a six for this well written chapter, and I don't have any. Yeah, Moulin Rouge, which also lead me think of Folie Bergere. So many memories.
But to your story. I love the interaction between Helen and Charles. It shows their attraction to each other, but still leaves open if Helen is totally sincere. At least they have Jeanne contained for the night, and now they are at the famous Moulin Rouge and who else but Kayla is there. And performing no less.
What now? It's a great tale you're spinning. Kind regards. Ulla:))

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2018

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reply by the author on 24-Nov-2018

What now, indeed? Glad to hear that the interaction between Charles and Helen is still working OK. I've never been tothe Moulin Rouge, so am hoping that my description of it wasn't too far off the mark. All the best, Tony

reply by Ulla on 24-Nov-2018

Actually, you've got it spot on. I would have thought you'd been there. Your're describing just the right atmosphere.

Comment from apky

Excellent

I certainly hope for her sake that it is indeed Kayla. I'm imagining that it could be quite easy to mistake the dancers, what with all the makeup and costumes!

Another engaging and excellent chapter. Some suggestions below, if you care for them.


We waited impatiently while the amber numbers flashed its(if you're referring to the colour "amber", then the possessive is correct. But if you're referring to the "numbers" then the possessive should be "their") progress from the third floor.

I found that rather unpleasant phrase, 'greasing his(the - this neutralises, Tony, and then its all very politically correct ~smile~) palm', worked wonders.

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2018

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reply by the author on 24-Nov-2018

Many thanks for your review and suggestions, apky. Much appreciated, as always. Tony

Comment from Pantygynt

Excellent

In of all places the Moulin Rouge! Well, they were about due for some success, and it was good to end this chapter on a bit of a high. I enjoyed the rather veiled comment about the UK's N.H.S ('...but the conditions were not quite as I had expected.'). No I don't suppose they were. Nurses lost there appeal for me when they lost their pretty uniforms and started wearing those shapess overalls that look as though a trip to the hoffman press wouldn't come amiss. But I suppose its progress of sort.

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2018

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reply by the author on 24-Nov-2018

I certainly have a few memories of the NHS! Not sure if the French system is any better, but I couldn't resist the dig.
The success of our squadron parties relied heavily on the support of local nurses from Swindon, Bath and Bristol - out of uniform! Several of my friends succumbed to their charms and are now enjoying a private nursing service in their old age.

Comment from krys123

Excellent

Cheers, Tony;
> It was tears coming down Kayla's face and not Helen's? Yep, I got it right.
> I would put something in that line to make it more definitive.
>I really enjoyed this one and it's surprising that Jeanne Didn't stay in the hospital longer but then she would paranoid about being hijacked again.
> It's amazing, as in any story, and I'm guilty of it as ever when by chance on all of a sudden situation occurs and everything comes into perspective in the story concludes in the angst is relieved.
> I really enjoyed reading this, Tony, and take care and have a good one.
Alx

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2018

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reply by the author on 24-Nov-2018

Thanks for the review, Alex. I'll have to have another look at that part, Alex. It was Helen who was with Charles and weeping tears of joy at having discovered her sister safe and sound. All the best, Tony

Comment from Zue65

Excellent

Oh my Helen has found her long lost sister. The story is getting to be really interesting. Is Helen just having an illusion, did she see a real Kyla or is this a ploy to trap her into the hands of those after her. The next post will surely be worth waiting for.

 Comment Written 22-Nov-2018

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reply by the author on 24-Nov-2018

Many thanks for your review, Nassus. I guess it would be difficult to make a positive ID under all that make-up and exotic costuming. I hope that Helen wasn't mistaken. It would be a bit of a let-down for her. All the best, Tony

Comment from kiwijenny

Excellent

What a great ending..Helen found her sister Kayla...awesome.
And the story goes on....great job...
I like the banter and am looking forward to the next episode
God bless

 Comment Written 22-Nov-2018

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reply by the author on 22-Nov-2018

Thanks for hanging in here, Jenny. Appreciated. A very happy Thanksgiving to you. Best wishes, Tony

reply by kiwijenny on 22-Nov-2018

Thank you

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

Tony,

Another chapter to add to the rest of the story - this one with a joyful ending (or 'pause' as it may be.) The writing was just as clear and precise as always and I'm so glad that our sweet female lead has found her sister. I can't imagine her relief and happiness.

One tiny note, if I may?
1.) If you'd like to follow me(,) I'll take you to her." Concern showed in her face.

Thanks so much and Happy Thanksgiving!

 Comment Written 22-Nov-2018

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reply by the author on 22-Nov-2018

Very many thanks, Robyn, for your little Thanksgiving gift of a comma. I shall put it to work immediately!
I also appreciate your very kind comments. A very happy Thanksgiving to you. Best wishes, Tony