The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "The Journal"A Novel
30 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Great description of the plane landing in bad weather, you could really sense the sisters panic.
OOh grasshoppers and snails, I think I'd have to go hungry. Through the journal we are getting an intriguing back story. Good chapter Tony,
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2018
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Great description of the plane landing in bad weather, you could really sense the sisters panic.
OOh grasshoppers and snails, I think I'd have to go hungry. Through the journal we are getting an intriguing back story. Good chapter Tony,
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 14-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2018
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Many thanks, Pearl. What a very nice review. Thanks for your kind words and encouragement. I agree with you about the grasshoppers! All the best, Tony.
Comment from Gloria ....
The information in the journal is being released at just the right pace and the interruption from the hospital from Helen and some mysterious condition only adds to the tension. Particularly with the phone going dead, that might just be a hang up, or something more.
Excellent novel.
Gloria
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2018
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The information in the journal is being released at just the right pace and the interruption from the hospital from Helen and some mysterious condition only adds to the tension. Particularly with the phone going dead, that might just be a hang up, or something more.
Excellent novel.
Gloria
Comment Written 14-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2018
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Many thanks, Gloria. What a very nice review. Thanks for your kind words and encouragement, and for the six stars. All the best, Tony.
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Tony. So, the plot thickens, as they say. You have done a splendid job showing details throughout ands the plot does not get bogged down. Good.
Suggestions: "A plaything" below is not a very good similie. I cannot see it at all. How about "as if it was a toy plane?" (or something like that)
"As we approached Bangkok, the aircraft was tossed around like a boat on a rough sea. Banks of cloud towered above us, grey and bearded giants that batted the plane about like a plaything."
And:I realize we must use adverbs from time to time in our writing, but I would advise you use them only when necessary (no other way)
"She smiled weakly to reassure me," (Avoid the "ly" words (adverbs) as much as is possible, Tony. As Stephen King says, they are the "weeds" of good writing. Far better to use stronger verbs to modify your action /nouns. Perhaps "She offered a weak smile to reassure me..."
Also: "I looked out of the window, to see needles of rain splattering on the tarmac. (splattering the tarmac)
Bless you, my friend. I await the next installment. Bob
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2018
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Hi, Tony. So, the plot thickens, as they say. You have done a splendid job showing details throughout ands the plot does not get bogged down. Good.
Suggestions: "A plaything" below is not a very good similie. I cannot see it at all. How about "as if it was a toy plane?" (or something like that)
"As we approached Bangkok, the aircraft was tossed around like a boat on a rough sea. Banks of cloud towered above us, grey and bearded giants that batted the plane about like a plaything."
And:I realize we must use adverbs from time to time in our writing, but I would advise you use them only when necessary (no other way)
"She smiled weakly to reassure me," (Avoid the "ly" words (adverbs) as much as is possible, Tony. As Stephen King says, they are the "weeds" of good writing. Far better to use stronger verbs to modify your action /nouns. Perhaps "She offered a weak smile to reassure me..."
Also: "I looked out of the window, to see needles of rain splattering on the tarmac. (splattering the tarmac)
Bless you, my friend. I await the next installment. Bob
Comment Written 14-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2018
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Many thanks, Bob. As always, I appreciate your suggestions. Will look again shortly. Am having computer issues at the moment and editing on an iPhone is a nightmare.
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I can imagine. Bob
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Now I am wondering about Jeanne. Why couldn't Helen say more on the phone? Why did she have to be so mysterious? I sure hope Charlies doesn't take the journal with him. He may lose it again. I think he needs to hide it. I so like this story.
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2018
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Now I am wondering about Jeanne. Why couldn't Helen say more on the phone? Why did she have to be so mysterious? I sure hope Charlies doesn't take the journal with him. He may lose it again. I think he needs to hide it. I so like this story.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2018
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Thanks so much for awarding this a sixth star, Barbara. I?m hoping he?ll look after it, too! LOL
Comment from BeasPeas
This is a very well written chapter, Tony. Scene descriptions bring the reader right into it. Glimpses of culture and daily life and the drive to survive in such a difficult circumstance comes through. When reading the diary entries, the reader feels like she is eavesdropping, which makes the story all the more personal. Marilyn
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2018
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This is a very well written chapter, Tony. Scene descriptions bring the reader right into it. Glimpses of culture and daily life and the drive to survive in such a difficult circumstance comes through. When reading the diary entries, the reader feels like she is eavesdropping, which makes the story all the more personal. Marilyn
Comment Written 13-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2018
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Thanks, Marilyn, for your review and comments about the effectiveness of the diary entries. Much appreciated. Tony
Comment from royowen
An excellent episode Tony. Reading material on how and what happened to Helen an Kayla, comes to his attention, and he learns just how they both became so streetwise, that's scary, losing credit cards, passports etc. how they met met Mme Durand. Well done, blessings, Roy
Typo : that (batted) the plane about. Battered?
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2018
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An excellent episode Tony. Reading material on how and what happened to Helen an Kayla, comes to his attention, and he learns just how they both became so streetwise, that's scary, losing credit cards, passports etc. how they met met Mme Durand. Well done, blessings, Roy
Typo : that (batted) the plane about. Battered?
Comment Written 13-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2018
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Many thanks for your review, Roy, also for the suggestion. Yes, I did mean 'batted', as in a shuttlecock being batted to and fro in a game of badminton. All the4 best,Tony
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I wasn't sure Tony, I've been on planes in thunderstorms heh heh
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a good job with this chapter focusing on the journal, Tony. I like how you made the journal entries in a different font. The time on Thailand up to this point seemed awful. I believe that Madame Durand is seriously ill or may have been poisoned. Thanks for sharing. Jan
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2018
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You did a good job with this chapter focusing on the journal, Tony. I like how you made the journal entries in a different font. The time on Thailand up to this point seemed awful. I believe that Madame Durand is seriously ill or may have been poisoned. Thanks for sharing. Jan
Comment Written 13-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2018
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Thanks, Jan. Yes, Thailand was a bit of a game changer for Helen. I thought that the font change would make the transition between the journal and the restaurant clearer. Glad it worked for you. All the best, Tony
Comment from nancy_e_davis
I was very impressed with the imagery I received when I was reading about the flight and the landing at the airport in
Bangkok, Tony. Another cliff hanger chapter well done. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2018
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I was very impressed with the imagery I received when I was reading about the flight and the landing at the airport in
Bangkok, Tony. Another cliff hanger chapter well done. Nancy:)
Comment Written 13-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2018
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Thanks, Nancy. I appreciate your words of encouragement. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was really good. We learnt a lot, but not enough because Helen want to meet with Charles now for a chat about Jeanne condition. I wonder what's up? The plot thickens, my friend. The journal has a mine of information in it. What an awful thing to happen, especially when you now have no passport or money to go home with. Well done, my friend, another wonderful chapter. :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2018
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That was really good. We learnt a lot, but not enough because Helen want to meet with Charles now for a chat about Jeanne condition. I wonder what's up? The plot thickens, my friend. The journal has a mine of information in it. What an awful thing to happen, especially when you now have no passport or money to go home with. Well done, my friend, another wonderful chapter. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 13-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2018
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Thanks, Sandra, for the kind words and extra star. Very much appreciated. It was quite some time ago that I thought of the idea of communicating the Bangkok part of the story by means of this journal. It's taken a while to engineer a situation where that can be done naturally. I felt that I could not continue to have Charles and Helen stopping off in various hotels so that she could recount her nightmares to him (and us)! LOL
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I think you are bringing the whole plot along at just the right pace, it has enough in each part to keep the reader wanting to turn the page. In fact, Tony, you are doing a brilliant job with this novel!
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:-))) Purr!
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LOL!!
Comment from estory
The journal reveals the plight of Helen and Kayla and how they were thrown into this situation in Thailand, and how they struggled together to get out of it. Tense descriptions of the mugging on the city streets mingles with the more lighthearted romantic descriptions of the exotic food in the street stalls, the innocent acceptance of the taxi driver, as he fleeces them. A stew of suspense reaches another level as the phone goes dead at the end and we have to wonder what is happening to Helen and Kayla now, back at the hospital. estory
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2018
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The journal reveals the plight of Helen and Kayla and how they were thrown into this situation in Thailand, and how they struggled together to get out of it. Tense descriptions of the mugging on the city streets mingles with the more lighthearted romantic descriptions of the exotic food in the street stalls, the innocent acceptance of the taxi driver, as he fleeces them. A stew of suspense reaches another level as the phone goes dead at the end and we have to wonder what is happening to Helen and Kayla now, back at the hospital. estory
Comment Written 13-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2018
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A succinct summary of this chapter here. Thank you for it, and for your continued interest in the story. All the best, Tony