Reviews from

Perennials of War

Viewing comments for Chapter 99 "Chapter Dreissig Part zwei"
Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan

18 total reviews 
Comment from rama devi
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted


Nice playful banter in the fine dialog interaction that enhances characterization. Good flow and fine sentence mechanics but a few comma spag issues to fix:


For as long as I can remember(,) Antonio would get heartbroken

*
I have feelings for you(,) and I'm waiting for you to accept the fact

*

"I think so. I didn't see a TV in her parents' house(,) and she never watched one in New York or in Chicago.

Love,
rd

 Comment Written 15-Oct-2018


reply by the author on 20-Oct-2018
    Sorry for the late reply but I needed to wait until I had time to make the corrections without making more mistakes. Thank you for the help.
reply by rama devi on 20-Oct-2018
    Happy to help!
Comment from judiverse
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Poor Shana. She has a hard time overcoming the Jewish objection. She seems to be in love the Drew, but that won't change her insistence on following the family traditions. Maybe some moment will come that will make her change her mind. Funny thing that Shana's family didn't have a TV. She really has been sheltered. To his credit, Drew is very understanding and isn't pushing her. Now I'm wondering if she will go back to Illinois and forget. Seems doubtful that she could. judi

 Comment Written 14-Oct-2018


reply by the author on 14-Oct-2018
    I seriously doubt Shana will ever forget this experience. Thank you for the kind review.
reply by judiverse on 14-Oct-2018
    I'll certainly be interested to see how you wind things up. Certainly readers are rooting for Shana and Drew to get together. judi
Comment from c_lucas
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I gave up television in 2004. I can do my research on the internet which makes me happy. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words. Your post has very good imagery.

 Comment Written 14-Oct-2018


reply by the author on 14-Oct-2018
    Thank you for the kind review.
reply by c_lucas on 14-Oct-2018
    You're welcome, Barbara.
Comment from Ben Colder
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

The soapy depressed her. Lucky woman never to be caught up in the advertising world of TV. Nothing but advertisement. She's getting cold feet. Now we wait and see how love finds the way.

 Comment Written 14-Oct-2018


reply by the author on 14-Oct-2018
    Shana is softening, but will it be enough? LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
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Shana has lived the life most of us lived back in the 40s and 50s, no television, we made our own entertainment and family was everything. Do you know, Barbara, I think things were so much nicer back then. The media has a lot to answer for.

I'm not sure how Drew is going to persuade Shana to marry him, she is such a strict Jew. But, at the same time, she is saying she doesn't want to break Drew's heart when she leaves him, but hasn't considered her own heart. She will be just as devastated that she felt she had to break with him. Quite a mess here. Something will have to give before they solve the puzzle of the picture. Well done, my friend, this is a really good continuation. :) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 14-Oct-2018


reply by the author on 14-Oct-2018
    Shana is truly old fashioned, It has to do with her upbringing. Thank you for the generous support.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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Shana admits that her father wouldn't allow TV at home, just books and family time. She finally admits she has feelings for Drew, and that she needs to move back to Illinois, but, of course she won't, because her feelings will betray, and that's what's her character is afraid of. Well done Barbara, great episode, blessjngs, Roy

 Comment Written 14-Oct-2018


reply by the author on 14-Oct-2018
    Thank you for the generous support.
reply by royowen on 14-Oct-2018
    Most welcome Barbara,
Comment from Sankey
Excellent
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Hope things are not falling off in the possible future for Shana and Drew. Great chapter and no spags at all. I am working on an Acknowledgement page for my book recognizing all the help from all of you reviewers. Hard work and so sad a lot of my reviewers are gone now. Getting reaL close to publishing. I am being encouraged to publish my biography before the other 4 or 5 books.

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 Comment Written 14-Oct-2018


reply by the author on 14-Oct-2018
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Excellent
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Shana really needs to lighten up... and grow up too. She's not her parents' property. She's free to make her own choices as any adult can. Why is she acting like a child who must not upset Daddy? GET OVER YOURSELF, Shana. GROW UP and stop wasting Drew's time.

Yes, I'm really mad at her now. Will this weak woman ever be able to make a decision on her own? If not, Drew is better off without her.

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 Comment Written 14-Oct-2018


reply by the author on 14-Oct-2018
    That's the big question. We'll have to wait and see. I promise you a happy ending, but we have to get through the muck first.
reply by Phyllis Stewart on 14-Oct-2018