The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "An Unexpected Meeting"A Novel
20 total reviews
Comment from Pantygynt
You may not have known where this was going and may not even now be aware of its destination but I was intrigued to read of the reference to Maupassant, especially after mentioning him in my last review.
Am I psychic or are you responding to my prompt? Honest now!
This has the makings of a great story.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2018
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You may not have known where this was going and may not even now be aware of its destination but I was intrigued to read of the reference to Maupassant, especially after mentioning him in my last review.
Am I psychic or are you responding to my prompt? Honest now!
This has the makings of a great story.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2018
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A bit of both! You put him in mind and then I discovered, courtesy of Wikipedia, that there was a statue of him in Parc Monceau. Since I'd already settled on the park as a suitable location for the follow-up meeting, this was serendipity too hard to resist!
I spent some pleasant hours in Parc Monceau during our four days in Paris on the way back home and am generally using locations that I'm familiar with as backdrops to the narrative. Many thanks for the six stars - good motivation to get me going on a third chapter!
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This has massive potential. I am thrilled to have helped.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Well described background. Descriptive writing that holds interest throughout the piece. Ending lends curiosity as to why "in no particular hurry to confront my fate" as to what that fate might be? A good way to bring readers back for the next chapter.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2018
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Well described background. Descriptive writing that holds interest throughout the piece. Ending lends curiosity as to why "in no particular hurry to confront my fate" as to what that fate might be? A good way to bring readers back for the next chapter.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2018
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Thanks, Brett. I appreciate your review and comments. Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from krys123
Exquisitely written!
Cheers, Tony;
>This writing is exquisitely written, arranged and composed.
> I was involved in a mystery where I was hoping for the best for the hero or main character. I was hoping that he would make the right decision and not get involved but the story would end there. That would be probable for the story writer. Chuckle!
> I really enjoyed their intricate and definitive imagery that was demonstratively and expressively created.
> All the atmosphere that was created by the imagery defined the mood in this setting of the story and completed the totality Of the suspense which made story most interesting.
> Thank you for sharing this, Tony, take care and have a good one.
Alx
PS: I hope your trip was a good one and if you still have on it, I hope you having a great time.
And I'm so glad that the Outback got some needed rain.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2018
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Exquisitely written!
Cheers, Tony;
>This writing is exquisitely written, arranged and composed.
> I was involved in a mystery where I was hoping for the best for the hero or main character. I was hoping that he would make the right decision and not get involved but the story would end there. That would be probable for the story writer. Chuckle!
> I really enjoyed their intricate and definitive imagery that was demonstratively and expressively created.
> All the atmosphere that was created by the imagery defined the mood in this setting of the story and completed the totality Of the suspense which made story most interesting.
> Thank you for sharing this, Tony, take care and have a good one.
Alx
PS: I hope your trip was a good one and if you still have on it, I hope you having a great time.
And I'm so glad that the Outback got some needed rain.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2018
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Thanks, Alex. I appreciate your six-star review and most supportive comments. Yes, we're back in South Australia again and enjoying a welcome spot of rain this week, though well below seasonal averages. The trip was a great success. It was good to catch up with so many old friends and various family members that I haven't seen for several years. Best wishes, Tony.
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That sounds so wonderful, Tony, Where you had a Chance to reacquaint with all your relatives and I'm hoping will you will write things about your trip as you did when you went to South America. That was great.
Talking about rain, we've been in drought conditions now for 12 years here in California.
I live in Monterey, one of the deepest bays and large mammals are feeding frenzy in the bay because of the warm water is sending more plankton in our area. Whole earth is becoming weird.
Take care and have a good one, Tony.
Alx
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Interesting to hear about the influx of sea mammals for krill in the warmer waters. It seems that there are far-reaching implications for climate change.
Yes, I shall certainly be drawing on my travel experiences in my writing, though probably not in the form of a travelogue. My recent poem, Finnish, arose from my hearing the language on a Finnair flight on the way to Helsinki. Also, some of the background for the early chapters of this novel draws on observations and experiences whilst in Paris - though only in an incidental way!
Comment from lyenochka
Exciting stuff, Tony! You described the background setting very well and so we already know that something will happen at the end of the last chapter and suddenly, we have this encounter which has a chance encounter. It's a very strange reaction to run away from a friend who was run over. So many questions!
Liked the use of the Vermeer painting to give us an idea about how she looked even though the portrait was of a girl whose hair was covered by a scarf.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2018
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Exciting stuff, Tony! You described the background setting very well and so we already know that something will happen at the end of the last chapter and suddenly, we have this encounter which has a chance encounter. It's a very strange reaction to run away from a friend who was run over. So many questions!
Liked the use of the Vermeer painting to give us an idea about how she looked even though the portrait was of a girl whose hair was covered by a scarf.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2018
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Thanks for your positive comments, Helen. Yes, a strange reaction, but one with more reason than might seem apparent at the moment.
I suppose I took a small leap of the imagination with Vermeer's painting. The girl's complexion if so pale that I pictured her as have fair hair, in contrast to the girl in my story. Perhaps I should have chosen a more definitive painting but this one was brought to mind by the pearl earring!
Comment from damommy
Excellent. Good, tight writing that keeps us on track with what's going on. Good descriptions of the people.
I'm wondering why Helen Culverson is being so mysterious. Good keeping the suspense going.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2018
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Excellent. Good, tight writing that keeps us on track with what's going on. Good descriptions of the people.
I'm wondering why Helen Culverson is being so mysterious. Good keeping the suspense going.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2018
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Thanks so much for your positive response, Yvonne, and the six stars. Yes, she appears to be a mysterious woman. I'm rather hoping that she will reveal more of herself to me in the course of time... but I hardly know her yet! All the best, Tony
Comment from Henry King
This outstanding scene sets the story in motion. The first Chapter sets the place. This three scene chapter brings an action packed start, questions and a delicious, which way is precipice, cliff hanger. The scene opens with the protagonist's eye on two women in an animated discussion. The next scene has one of the women killed by an automobile. The protagonist assists the other woman in fleeing the scene. The woman exclaims, she left her purse. The protagonist retrieves the purse but has no information about the fleeing woman except an email address. The woman responds by setting up a meeting. The protagonist is rightly apprehensive about the upcoming meeting, given all the circumstances. The chapter ends. Well done.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2018
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This outstanding scene sets the story in motion. The first Chapter sets the place. This three scene chapter brings an action packed start, questions and a delicious, which way is precipice, cliff hanger. The scene opens with the protagonist's eye on two women in an animated discussion. The next scene has one of the women killed by an automobile. The protagonist assists the other woman in fleeing the scene. The woman exclaims, she left her purse. The protagonist retrieves the purse but has no information about the fleeing woman except an email address. The woman responds by setting up a meeting. The protagonist is rightly apprehensive about the upcoming meeting, given all the circumstances. The chapter ends. Well done.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2018
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Very many thanks for your close reading of this, Henry, and for your award of six stars. Your precis of the chapter has helped me to fix its shape in my mind more clearly. Appreciated. Best wishes, Tony
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You are welcome. I really enjoyed reading this chapter.
Comment from Shanbreen
This is a fascinating story and I wanted to know more. I love some of the descriptions and word usage, however, it does get wordy at times. For example,
"...to record a planned assignation, at midday this very day, in the Parc Monceau."
Do you really need "this very day?"
Also, this left me confused with my first reading:
"My bag!" she exclaimed. "Sweet Jesus! I've left my bag on the ground by the chair."
I met the imploring look in her eye as the taxi drew away from the curb, and turned to retrace my steps.
For just a moment, I wondered who was in the taxi. There needs to be seamless transition between the frist and the second verses that would avoid the confusion.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2018
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This is a fascinating story and I wanted to know more. I love some of the descriptions and word usage, however, it does get wordy at times. For example,
"...to record a planned assignation, at midday this very day, in the Parc Monceau."
Do you really need "this very day?"
Also, this left me confused with my first reading:
"My bag!" she exclaimed. "Sweet Jesus! I've left my bag on the ground by the chair."
I met the imploring look in her eye as the taxi drew away from the curb, and turned to retrace my steps.
For just a moment, I wondered who was in the taxi. There needs to be seamless transition between the frist and the second verses that would avoid the confusion.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2018
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You're right to criticize the wordiness. It is a fault I need to watch out for. However, the perpetrator is often blind!
I had thought the assumption that it was Helen in the taxi was clear, but on re-reading, I see what you are getting at. I'll see if I can come up with a better phrasing.
Two helpful suggestions. Thank you very much.
Best wishes, Tony
Comment from royowen
An excellent chapter Tomy, so well written and expressively emotion and descriptive in observation and emotion. What a circumstancial write, a woman being killed in front of your eyes, a handbag, and I'm not sure why our hero feels the apprehension he/she feels, ah, I went back and reread, excellent episode, error free and attention grabbing, well done Tony, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2018
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An excellent chapter Tomy, so well written and expressively emotion and descriptive in observation and emotion. What a circumstancial write, a woman being killed in front of your eyes, a handbag, and I'm not sure why our hero feels the apprehension he/she feels, ah, I went back and reread, excellent episode, error free and attention grabbing, well done Tony, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 05-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2018
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Thanks for your review, Roy. There is a mystery here that I, too, am anxious to get to the bottom of. I'm hoping that the meeting in the park at Monceau will throw some light on things.
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Good job Tony, the first prose work I've seen from you, good job. Roy
Comment from prettybluebirds
This story grabs one's attention from the start. It is interesting and intriguing. I will have to watch for more of this story now that I have read this much. Very nicely written.
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reply by the author on 07-Aug-2018
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This story grabs one's attention from the start. It is interesting and intriguing. I will have to watch for more of this story now that I have read this much. Very nicely written.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2018
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Thanks, April. I appreciate your interest. This is a new venture for me. I'm hoping that i shall be able to continue to intrigue! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Your descriptions are extremely interesting. I'm having fun reading this novel.
I folded the envelope carefully and placed it inside a small black notebook that I keep in my hip pocket. ( I would use kept instead of keep here because it's in the past tense.)
I suppose that I could have caught the Metro, but I wanted time to think things out, for I was not at all sure what I might be getting myself into. (You can omit 'that'. It's an extra word. I had an editor one tell me that this word was way over used.)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2018
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Your descriptions are extremely interesting. I'm having fun reading this novel.
I folded the envelope carefully and placed it inside a small black notebook that I keep in my hip pocket. ( I would use kept instead of keep here because it's in the past tense.)
I suppose that I could have caught the Metro, but I wanted time to think things out, for I was not at all sure what I might be getting myself into. (You can omit 'that'. It's an extra word. I had an editor one tell me that this word was way over used.)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2018
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Many thanks for your continued interest, Barbara. I hope that I have the skills to sustain it! I very much appreciated your two suggestions and agree with them both. I've now amended the chapter to incorporate them. I shall be looking out for unnecessary 'that's in the future! Best wishes, Tony