Perennials of War
Viewing comments for Chapter 50 "Chapter Funfzehn part drei"Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan
22 total reviews
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi, Barbara;
Was there a bit of a spark in Anderson's eyes as he knelt down in front of Shana?
Great chapter - I'm worried about Shana and Emily. It seems that the guys in the car are playing for keeps.
Looking forward to more,
~patty~
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2017
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Hi, Barbara;
Was there a bit of a spark in Anderson's eyes as he knelt down in front of Shana?
Great chapter - I'm worried about Shana and Emily. It seems that the guys in the car are playing for keeps.
Looking forward to more,
~patty~
Comment Written 23-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2017
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Thank you for the kind review and insight.
Comment from giraffmang
Nice piece with this instalment, showing the devotion of the two men and their relationship to Anderson and Emily.
They were getting grumpy" - need punctuation before the closing speech marks here.
She giggled. "It was really good. - need closing speech marks here.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2017
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Nice piece with this instalment, showing the devotion of the two men and their relationship to Anderson and Emily.
They were getting grumpy" - need punctuation before the closing speech marks here.
She giggled. "It was really good. - need closing speech marks here.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2017
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I have made the corrections. I truly appreciate the help.
Comment from Ben Colder
Oh lifestyle in the city must be a bore but you make it sound interesting. Poor little rich girl. Glad I raised my girls in the country with their own horses etc. Enjoyed it Barb. Nice work.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2017
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Oh lifestyle in the city must be a bore but you make it sound interesting. Poor little rich girl. Glad I raised my girls in the country with their own horses etc. Enjoyed it Barb. Nice work.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2017
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I agree. The country/rural America is so much better. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from rama devi
Good chapter section. As usual, true to life dialog, good characterization and great pacing. Fine descriptive detail.
A few spag suggestions:
* They were getting grumpy(.)" Anderson motioned for Emily to get in as she giggled.
*
"I heard that." Anderson pretended to crunch his eyebrows together.
how can you pretend to crunch eyebrows? I think you might have meant:
Anderson pretended annoyance by crunching his eyebrows together.
*
"Oh!" Shana's eyes widened(,) and she looked up as Anderson entered. "Is everything all right?"
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2017
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Good chapter section. As usual, true to life dialog, good characterization and great pacing. Fine descriptive detail.
A few spag suggestions:
* They were getting grumpy(.)" Anderson motioned for Emily to get in as she giggled.
*
"I heard that." Anderson pretended to crunch his eyebrows together.
how can you pretend to crunch eyebrows? I think you might have meant:
Anderson pretended annoyance by crunching his eyebrows together.
*
"Oh!" Shana's eyes widened(,) and she looked up as Anderson entered. "Is everything all right?"
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 23-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2017
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Thank you for all your help. I have made the corrections.
Comment from apky
An excellent chapter, well written and full of intrigues.
What I wondered about was why these apparent pursuers of Anderson and his daughter as well as personnel, would show up and act like they too simply drove over for a bit of sunshine. This makes mentioning their presence in their car somewhat obsolete. The discerning reader would notice that.
But perhaps you had your reasons which will come in later in the story.
At any rate I continue to enjoy this story. It pulls me in more and more each time around.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2017
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An excellent chapter, well written and full of intrigues.
What I wondered about was why these apparent pursuers of Anderson and his daughter as well as personnel, would show up and act like they too simply drove over for a bit of sunshine. This makes mentioning their presence in their car somewhat obsolete. The discerning reader would notice that.
But perhaps you had your reasons which will come in later in the story.
At any rate I continue to enjoy this story. It pulls me in more and more each time around.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2017
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Yes, there are reasons. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Barb
= Very good chapter revolving around Emily.
= Very good end hook with Anderson admitting he cares for Shana by not wanting to see her get hurt.
= FYI-just a thought = If Anderson is afraid for his daughter, yet a possible threat pulls up in the car, would't it be a good idea to reemphasize there are guards around her--like directing one of the guys to get closer to shadow her?
Cheers, J (*<*)
Have a great day/evening
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2017
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Hi, Barb
= Very good chapter revolving around Emily.
= Very good end hook with Anderson admitting he cares for Shana by not wanting to see her get hurt.
= FYI-just a thought = If Anderson is afraid for his daughter, yet a possible threat pulls up in the car, would't it be a good idea to reemphasize there are guards around her--like directing one of the guys to get closer to shadow her?
Cheers, J (*<*)
Have a great day/evening
Comment Written 22-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2017
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That's why Anderson went to stay with her. Anderson is more than capable of taking care of her.
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Very good. (*<*)
Comment from Sasha
Nice work with this one. Anderson is quite smart and always prepared for the unknown. Emily is a smart little girl and clearly reads her father's behavior quite well. I am please all went well at the part and that Anderson was able to ease Shana's concerns.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2017
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Nice work with this one. Anderson is quite smart and always prepared for the unknown. Emily is a smart little girl and clearly reads her father's behavior quite well. I am please all went well at the part and that Anderson was able to ease Shana's concerns.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Barb
What is so good about this chapter the fact that Emily has no idea ( I think the danger she could be in)
and the what seemed to me the tense feeling I got from Anderson and Shana the danger for Emily.
Gert
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2017
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Hello Barb
What is so good about this chapter the fact that Emily has no idea ( I think the danger she could be in)
and the what seemed to me the tense feeling I got from Anderson and Shana the danger for Emily.
Gert
Comment Written 22-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2017
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I think she feels it too. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I don't think Anderson is very happy with his ex-wife, I wouldn't be either if someone let a young child of mine watch such programmes. I think he'll get full custody, she doesn't really want Emily. So, who were those men in the limo? I don't think they were after Emily, but it is worrying all the same. Anderson is not going to let Shana move out, it would put her in danger anyway. Well done, Barbara, the story is coming along wonderfully. :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2017
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I don't think Anderson is very happy with his ex-wife, I wouldn't be either if someone let a young child of mine watch such programmes. I think he'll get full custody, she doesn't really want Emily. So, who were those men in the limo? I don't think they were after Emily, but it is worrying all the same. Anderson is not going to let Shana move out, it would put her in danger anyway. Well done, Barbara, the story is coming along wonderfully. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 22-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2017
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Thank you for the kind review and insight.
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
Goodness Barbara you consistently produce super high quality writes which I thoroughly enjoy, brilliant plot-lines and interesting and enjoyable characters ALWAYS! Well done for another slice of your fantastic work I look forward to reading more as ever kindest regards Meia xx
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2017
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Goodness Barbara you consistently produce super high quality writes which I thoroughly enjoy, brilliant plot-lines and interesting and enjoyable characters ALWAYS! Well done for another slice of your fantastic work I look forward to reading more as ever kindest regards Meia xx
Comment Written 22-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2017
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Thank you for the encouraging review. I appreciate it.