Perennials of War
Viewing comments for Chapter 47 "Chapter Vierzehn part drei"Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan
26 total reviews
Comment from rtobaygo
Good afternoon, Barbara
Excellent continuation! The dialogue and character interactions were spot on, which gave the flow excellent continuity. I like how you reveal different aspects of your characters' personalities and how they think. Enjoyed.
Take care and stay safe,
Ray
PS: Really impressed by the lack of speech tags.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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Good afternoon, Barbara
Excellent continuation! The dialogue and character interactions were spot on, which gave the flow excellent continuity. I like how you reveal different aspects of your characters' personalities and how they think. Enjoyed.
Take care and stay safe,
Ray
PS: Really impressed by the lack of speech tags.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from rama devi
I can't think of what might have been forgotten. This section reads fluidly and cohesively. Good pacing, dialog and narrative detail, as usual. Very little to suggest:
* Anderson's stare told him he'd better continue quickly. "
Rather than use the adverb, it would be optimal to use a stronger verb or descriptive word.
*In a perfect world(,) you get married and start a family.
Good job. Good tension and characterization.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2017
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I can't think of what might have been forgotten. This section reads fluidly and cohesively. Good pacing, dialog and narrative detail, as usual. Very little to suggest:
* Anderson's stare told him he'd better continue quickly. "
Rather than use the adverb, it would be optimal to use a stronger verb or descriptive word.
*In a perfect world(,) you get married and start a family.
Good job. Good tension and characterization.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2017
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I have made the corrections. Thank you , again, for all the help.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Barbara,
This instalment adds some depth to the relationship between Anderson & Emily and the whole family dynamics. It is good to see the mother portrayed in a less than favourable light for a change as well.
She owes three months back rent - it may be months' here.
looked bad for her to loose custody - lose.
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2017
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Hi Barbara,
This instalment adds some depth to the relationship between Anderson & Emily and the whole family dynamics. It is good to see the mother portrayed in a less than favourable light for a change as well.
She owes three months back rent - it may be months' here.
looked bad for her to loose custody - lose.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2017
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I have made the corrections. Thank you.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
There are many women like that, (and men) who are only out for a good time. Patricia was a fool. I hope Anderson gets full custody and can then dictate the terms of visitation. This is going really well, Barbara, I'm not following many books on here, only the one's I can really get stuck into, yours most definitely is one of them. Look forward to the next part! xxx Sandra xx
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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There are many women like that, (and men) who are only out for a good time. Patricia was a fool. I hope Anderson gets full custody and can then dictate the terms of visitation. This is going really well, Barbara, I'm not following many books on here, only the one's I can really get stuck into, yours most definitely is one of them. Look forward to the next part! xxx Sandra xx
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Barb
= Great dialogue between the men concerning Emily.
= I like the way you described Patricia though Anderson's mindset.
= Fast and fluid read. Good job.
Cheers, J (*<*)
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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Hi, Barb
= Great dialogue between the men concerning Emily.
= I like the way you described Patricia though Anderson's mindset.
= Fast and fluid read. Good job.
Cheers, J (*<*)
Comment Written 01-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Mustang Patty
So sad to read that Emily is being abused in any way - she seems like such a sweet little girl. Obviously, we will find out what is wrong with Patricia - other than that she is selfish.
Well structured chapter,
~patty~
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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So sad to read that Emily is being abused in any way - she seems like such a sweet little girl. Obviously, we will find out what is wrong with Patricia - other than that she is selfish.
Well structured chapter,
~patty~
Comment Written 01-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ric Myworld
I guess it's true that all people and families have their own problems. A friend's son, a heroine addict, got another addict pregnant. She gave birth in jail to the most beautiful little boy. She is a gorgeous Asian girl, and my friend's son is a handsome black haired, blue eyed lady killer. So as you can probably imagine, the kid is beautiful. His parents drug addicts, her with no family, and father's family not much to brag about. I'm not an old softy, but every time I'm around this child for any time, I just go home and cry. He has a long rode ahead of him, alone. The mother gets out of jail next week and wants to see her baby, but the father's parents have hired a lawyer to try to keep her away. I guess so their constantly stoned son can have a wreck with him in the car or burn them up in a house fire. I'm too old, but I'm about to offer taking him until they can get their lives in order. Anyway, I just know you love children, which made me want to share this story with you. Thanks for another fine read. Now, wish me luck in making a difference in this child's life. :-)
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2017
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I guess it's true that all people and families have their own problems. A friend's son, a heroine addict, got another addict pregnant. She gave birth in jail to the most beautiful little boy. She is a gorgeous Asian girl, and my friend's son is a handsome black haired, blue eyed lady killer. So as you can probably imagine, the kid is beautiful. His parents drug addicts, her with no family, and father's family not much to brag about. I'm not an old softy, but every time I'm around this child for any time, I just go home and cry. He has a long rode ahead of him, alone. The mother gets out of jail next week and wants to see her baby, but the father's parents have hired a lawyer to try to keep her away. I guess so their constantly stoned son can have a wreck with him in the car or burn them up in a house fire. I'm too old, but I'm about to offer taking him until they can get their lives in order. Anyway, I just know you love children, which made me want to share this story with you. Thanks for another fine read. Now, wish me luck in making a difference in this child's life. :-)
Comment Written 01-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2017
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Your story made me cry too. I see it everyday with my first graders and my heart breaks. Thank you .
Comment from rheabug
Splendid story line addressing the issue of the poor handling of a child in these circumstances. You are doing a great thing here by addressing this issue. Hugs...
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2017
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Splendid story line addressing the issue of the poor handling of a child in these circumstances. You are doing a great thing here by addressing this issue. Hugs...
Comment Written 01-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from c_lucas
It looks as if Anderson's ex will get a good dose of reality. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. There is good imagery.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2017
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It looks as if Anderson's ex will get a good dose of reality. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. There is good imagery.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2017
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I hope she does. Thank you for the kind review.
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You're welcome, Barbara.
Comment from Curly Girly
This is a fluid chapter to read. It seems that Patricia, Emily's mother, is a party-girl who hasn't got her child's interests or welfare at heart.
Divorce is stressful for parents but especially children.
It's hard for a child to see and hear its parents accusing each other of misdeeds.
Ultimately, Emily must be kept safe.
Nicole
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2017
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This is a fluid chapter to read. It seems that Patricia, Emily's mother, is a party-girl who hasn't got her child's interests or welfare at heart.
Divorce is stressful for parents but especially children.
It's hard for a child to see and hear its parents accusing each other of misdeeds.
Ultimately, Emily must be kept safe.
Nicole
Comment Written 01-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2017
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Anderson has tried, but now needs to do what's right for Emily. Thank you for the kind review.