Perennials of War
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Chapter Sieben part drei"Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan
28 total reviews
Comment from MelB
Hi Barb, a well written chapter and you did a good job of conveying the things you wanted to in your notes. "I'll admit I do enjoy having you around. You're not judgmental and I like that." - this is one of the benefits of having pets!
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2017
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Hi Barb, a well written chapter and you did a good job of conveying the things you wanted to in your notes. "I'll admit I do enjoy having you around. You're not judgmental and I like that." - this is one of the benefits of having pets!
Comment Written 10-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2017
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It is a benefit of having pets. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Jay Squires
Thanks to your long "previous ending" I was able to get back to near "speed". I liked this chapter. You do well with animals. There is a sense of authenticity with the movements of the animals.
In her room, Shana sat on the bed's edge, wiped the tears still remaining, [Not a nit, but I wanted to point out what to me would read better here: "... wiped the remaining tears, ..."]
When Shana opened the bathroom door, [Wouldn't it be better to add here "to exit" or "to leave" since it wasn't indicated that she went into the bathroom after her conversation with the dog?]
She rolled over and eye-to-eye with the dog said, [She rolled over (,) and eye-to-eye with the dog (,) said,...]
"I take that is a 'You shouldn't leave.' I'd miss you." [You should put the single closed-quote mark just before the closed quote instead of after "leave."]
Enjoyed getting back to this, Barbara.
Jay
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2017
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Thanks to your long "previous ending" I was able to get back to near "speed". I liked this chapter. You do well with animals. There is a sense of authenticity with the movements of the animals.
In her room, Shana sat on the bed's edge, wiped the tears still remaining, [Not a nit, but I wanted to point out what to me would read better here: "... wiped the remaining tears, ..."]
When Shana opened the bathroom door, [Wouldn't it be better to add here "to exit" or "to leave" since it wasn't indicated that she went into the bathroom after her conversation with the dog?]
She rolled over and eye-to-eye with the dog said, [She rolled over (,) and eye-to-eye with the dog (,) said,...]
"I take that is a 'You shouldn't leave.' I'd miss you." [You should put the single closed-quote mark just before the closed quote instead of after "leave."]
Enjoyed getting back to this, Barbara.
Jay
Comment Written 09-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2017
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Thank you for the help. I made the corrections. It does read better.
Comment from mbroyles2
There is no doubt that information dumps are best told through dialogue. But choosing this dialogue to be between human and dog was genius.
I can just see the big shepherd just cock in his head ever so often in patient understanding.
Terrific!
Michael
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2017
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There is no doubt that information dumps are best told through dialogue. But choosing this dialogue to be between human and dog was genius.
I can just see the big shepherd just cock in his head ever so often in patient understanding.
Terrific!
Michael
Comment Written 09-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sasha
You do an excellent job conveying Shana's devotion to her religion, her feelings of loneliness and the nagging questions she still has about pursuing the painting. This is a charming and sweet chapter. I enjoyed it very much. I look forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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You do an excellent job conveying Shana's devotion to her religion, her feelings of loneliness and the nagging questions she still has about pursuing the painting. This is a charming and sweet chapter. I enjoyed it very much. I look forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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Thank you for the generous review.
Comment from c_lucas
This is very well written and only touches Noah claims to fame. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words.There is very good imagery and descriptive scheme.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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This is very well written and only touches Noah claims to fame. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words.There is very good imagery and descriptive scheme.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
I like that she's talking to a dog. It adds a touch of humor to a serious story and makes her seem more human somehow. INteresting info on lands settled by Abraham's sons, too.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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I like that she's talking to a dog. It adds a touch of humor to a serious story and makes her seem more human somehow. INteresting info on lands settled by Abraham's sons, too.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ben Colder
There were giants in the land. Remember Joshua. The land of Nod is where the off spring began. Boy! Do we have a mess today! You have done much research in writing this. Well done, Barbara.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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There were giants in the land. Remember Joshua. The land of Nod is where the off spring began. Boy! Do we have a mess today! You have done much research in writing this. Well done, Barbara.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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Thank you for your generous words.
Comment from Sis Cat
Barbara, this chapter captivated me, perhaps because I have a Chihuahua sleeping on my lap now. Truthfully, you used a lot of craftsmanship to move your story forward by having Shana converse with the dog Romeo. Highly informative and entertaining is that she turned to the Torah for answers: "It figures one of Ham's sons fathered the Palestinians. They've been a problem since the beginning of time. I wonder? It was Japheth's sons who fathered Russia. I can't blame Ham for this too." This shows a lot of research to share the history of the ancient Hebrews in a knowledgeable and sensitive way.
Also fascinating is that Shana used Romeo as a proxy to discuss abandoning the search for her family's painting. While Shana says, "I'm talking to a dog and expecting an answer. What's wrong with me?" you handled this scene with creativity, making it very believable. I also like how you have all four of Anderson's dogs listed in Character's So Far. As Shana said to Romeo, "You're such a character."
Thank you, Barbara, for sharing another thrilling chapter.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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Barbara, this chapter captivated me, perhaps because I have a Chihuahua sleeping on my lap now. Truthfully, you used a lot of craftsmanship to move your story forward by having Shana converse with the dog Romeo. Highly informative and entertaining is that she turned to the Torah for answers: "It figures one of Ham's sons fathered the Palestinians. They've been a problem since the beginning of time. I wonder? It was Japheth's sons who fathered Russia. I can't blame Ham for this too." This shows a lot of research to share the history of the ancient Hebrews in a knowledgeable and sensitive way.
Also fascinating is that Shana used Romeo as a proxy to discuss abandoning the search for her family's painting. While Shana says, "I'm talking to a dog and expecting an answer. What's wrong with me?" you handled this scene with creativity, making it very believable. I also like how you have all four of Anderson's dogs listed in Character's So Far. As Shana said to Romeo, "You're such a character."
Thank you, Barbara, for sharing another thrilling chapter.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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Thank you for the generous words. You made my day. I was afraid I'd take a lot of hits for this post.
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Hello, my friend, I loved this chapter it shows Shana's dedication to her region even in troubling times for her and it also shows her gentle side talking to Romeo showing how attached to him she is I enjoyed well-done regards, Jill
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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Hello, my friend, I loved this chapter it shows Shana's dedication to her region even in troubling times for her and it also shows her gentle side talking to Romeo showing how attached to him she is I enjoyed well-done regards, Jill
Comment Written 09-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ric Myworld
When we start talking to the dogs and expecting an answer, most people would think we are crazy. Of course, with me, I would figure that she might be better off with the dogs' opinions than most people's. Thanks for another fine chapter. :-)
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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When we start talking to the dogs and expecting an answer, most people would think we are crazy. Of course, with me, I would figure that she might be better off with the dogs' opinions than most people's. Thanks for another fine chapter. :-)
Comment Written 09-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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LOL Loved your review. I speak with my pets.