Perennials of War
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Chapter Three part zwei"Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan
33 total reviews
Comment from giraffmang
hi Barbara,
good chapter, great attention to detail and the events near the end are interesting & ominous. I agree with you about the character lists but sometimes they are a 'necessary evil'.
She secured the door behind her - really small but I was wondering about secured rather than locked?
The attention to detail again is very good, especially in the religious detailing.
Anderson leaned toward Shana. "You weren't too fond of our hug. Are you going to treat the kiss the same way?" - nice referencing to previous events.
"Positive." Tears welled in her eyes. - maybe use something like Tears welled up. the 'in her eyes' is redundant.
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2016
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hi Barbara,
good chapter, great attention to detail and the events near the end are interesting & ominous. I agree with you about the character lists but sometimes they are a 'necessary evil'.
She secured the door behind her - really small but I was wondering about secured rather than locked?
The attention to detail again is very good, especially in the religious detailing.
Anderson leaned toward Shana. "You weren't too fond of our hug. Are you going to treat the kiss the same way?" - nice referencing to previous events.
"Positive." Tears welled in her eyes. - maybe use something like Tears welled up. the 'in her eyes' is redundant.
Comment Written 27-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2016
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I was wondering about the secured and locked myself. I used secured as meaning she make sure it was shut so a dog couldn't push it open. I wasn't thinking locked because the bathroom was part of her bedroom. Does that make sense or and I not thinking correctly?
Thank you for the kind review.
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Yeah that makes sense in that context.
Comment from rama devi
Another good chapter. I like how it has the spiritual overtones via blessings and hand gestures. Good pacing, dialog, characterization (and thanks for the list) and sentence mechanics. Just one suggestion:
I have white(;) that's good enough."
Warmly,
rd
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2016
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Another good chapter. I like how it has the spiritual overtones via blessings and hand gestures. Good pacing, dialog, characterization (and thanks for the list) and sentence mechanics. Just one suggestion:
I have white(;) that's good enough."
Warmly,
rd
Comment Written 27-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2016
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Correction made. Commas are bad enough now I need to worry semi-colons too. OH MY! TOO MUCH!! lLOL Please know I'm teasing. Thank you for the help.
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Happy to help. I had wondered this year if you were tired of my spag notes, as you used to respond more positively...thanks for mentioning you were teasing. Blessings, rd
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I always appreciate your help. I NEED your help. I often am rushed when I check reviews. That may be the reason for the hurried reply.
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Thanks, dear. Blessings, rd
Comment from bookishfabler
Just keep a copy of the list in your word or notepad and add to it if you need to later on.
Another great chapter. Still coming to you on this damn phone. I miss my computer.
I liked hearing about the candles and jewish tridition. Iworked for three hasidem brothers for 8byears. Best bosses i ever had.
Thanks for sharing
Happy Hanukkah
Hugs
Heidi
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2016
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Just keep a copy of the list in your word or notepad and add to it if you need to later on.
Another great chapter. Still coming to you on this damn phone. I miss my computer.
I liked hearing about the candles and jewish tridition. Iworked for three hasidem brothers for 8byears. Best bosses i ever had.
Thanks for sharing
Happy Hanukkah
Hugs
Heidi
Comment Written 27-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2016
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Hurry up computer. I bought four computer for Christmas, 3 laptops for three grandchildren, a PC for my college son, and another laptop for another son. It was ridiculous and expensive, but I loved their faces. Thank you for the kind review.
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We just got back form camping and the first thing I did was turn on my computer. I brought my laptop (new) with me, but no WIFI out there in the woods. Only could use the phone.
hugs Heidi
Comment from Jay Squires
I enjoyed the authentic "feel" of the lighting of the candles and the blessing of the food. Either you did your research or it's a part of your experience.
A few concerns (I'm sure that have been pointed out already).
"What a minute," said Jane. ["WAIT ? a minute," said Jane.]
"Shh, you don't them to hear you." [...don't (WANT?) them to hear you."]
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2016
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I enjoyed the authentic "feel" of the lighting of the candles and the blessing of the food. Either you did your research or it's a part of your experience.
A few concerns (I'm sure that have been pointed out already).
"What a minute," said Jane. ["WAIT ? a minute," said Jane.]
"Shh, you don't them to hear you." [...don't (WANT?) them to hear you."]
Comment Written 27-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2016
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I have already made those corrections. Thank you for bringing them to my attention. I double checked. Sometimes I forget to save corrections. I always appreciate your helpful input.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Interesting chapter. I like the description of the Sabbath ceremony ... new to me. Shana is so lucky to have met Drew. Now, how did the Russians figure out she was staying at the hotel? Did I forget something? Or were they just good at following the car?
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2016
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Interesting chapter. I like the description of the Sabbath ceremony ... new to me. Shana is so lucky to have met Drew. Now, how did the Russians figure out she was staying at the hotel? Did I forget something? Or were they just good at following the car?
Comment Written 27-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2016
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I think the Russians know everything. It gets much worse. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from MelB
I enjoyed reading about the lighting of the candles. The suspense is high with the guys still following her. Her tears lead me to believe she does know something.
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2016
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I enjoyed reading about the lighting of the candles. The suspense is high with the guys still following her. Her tears lead me to believe she does know something.
Comment Written 26-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2016
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I'm not sure what she does and doesn't know. I will find out as soon as she tells me and I'll be sure to write it. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
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LOL - You're welcome.
Comment from light
Good chapter. You are keeping the suspense high with the two strange men still following Shana. The Lighting of the Shabbat candles in keeps with Jewish tradition also adds interest.
Elaine
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2016
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Good chapter. You are keeping the suspense high with the two strange men still following Shana. The Lighting of the Shabbat candles in keeps with Jewish tradition also adds interest.
Elaine
Comment Written 26-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2016
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Thank you for the encouraging review..
Comment from Lu Saluna
This was a very nice chapter. It was really fantastic to read about the shabbat meal and how it is done. I have never had the pleasure of sharing a meal with a Jewish family. Very lovely.
The plot is very intriguing, difficult to know if Shana is hiding something or is being honest. Regardless, this is very well written. I am enjoying the mystery of it all.
Thank you for the character list, it is very helpful.
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2016
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This was a very nice chapter. It was really fantastic to read about the shabbat meal and how it is done. I have never had the pleasure of sharing a meal with a Jewish family. Very lovely.
The plot is very intriguing, difficult to know if Shana is hiding something or is being honest. Regardless, this is very well written. I am enjoying the mystery of it all.
Thank you for the character list, it is very helpful.
Comment Written 26-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2016
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from judiverse
Six stars because this is developing so beautifully. Your description of the Jewish religious practices is quite interesting and well told. I like Shana having a canine guard, Romeo. He takes his duties very seriously. Anderson questions Shana about what the Russians might be so hot and bothered about besides the painting, but Shana can't think of anything. She surely has something in her possession and doesn't realize its significance. The Russians are still on her trail, inquiring at the motel where she was staying. Anderson thought he had been able to get her luggage out without it being observed, but they're serious about pursuing Shana and whatever she has. Great suspense. judi
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2016
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Six stars because this is developing so beautifully. Your description of the Jewish religious practices is quite interesting and well told. I like Shana having a canine guard, Romeo. He takes his duties very seriously. Anderson questions Shana about what the Russians might be so hot and bothered about besides the painting, but Shana can't think of anything. She surely has something in her possession and doesn't realize its significance. The Russians are still on her trail, inquiring at the motel where she was staying. Anderson thought he had been able to get her luggage out without it being observed, but they're serious about pursuing Shana and whatever she has. Great suspense. judi
Comment Written 26-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2016
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Thank you for the encouraging review..
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You're welcome. I think your story is moving splendidly. judi
Comment from royowen
Well done Barbara, I like your character line, and your brief synopsis is good, you can cut and paste your character lineup once you've done one. Kosher candles Eh, never knew what they were made of! I'll have to look it up. Excellent story telling Barbara, great plot, well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2016
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Well done Barbara, I like your character line, and your brief synopsis is good, you can cut and paste your character lineup once you've done one. Kosher candles Eh, never knew what they were made of! I'll have to look it up. Excellent story telling Barbara, great plot, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 26-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2016
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Thank you for the encouraging review..