New York's Best: the NYDOE
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "NYCDoHD Spells Jobs "A Musical in One Act
23 total reviews
Comment from susand3022
So, this 'note to lyricists' spot, that's where you want the songs to go? I guess I was just missing that. This is such a cool story. I've got way too much to read, so I can post the things I'm writing!
Susan :)
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2022
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So, this 'note to lyricists' spot, that's where you want the songs to go? I guess I was just missing that. This is such a cool story. I've got way too much to read, so I can post the things I'm writing!
Susan :)
Comment Written 21-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2022
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Oh, yes, I know what you mean about reading so you can post. It's a catch 22. Thank you for making mine one that you read.
Comment from amahra
LOL! Jay, great installment, buddy. Well-written, humorous, and entertaining.
(then his smile evaporates when he realizes ZACHARY is keenly watching him) [Great! I could picture this.]
Okay, then. Okay! A lawn mower.[love this line.]
I was a collector of bottles and cans.[hahaha! Priceless!]
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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LOL! Jay, great installment, buddy. Well-written, humorous, and entertaining.
(then his smile evaporates when he realizes ZACHARY is keenly watching him) [Great! I could picture this.]
Okay, then. Okay! A lawn mower.[love this line.]
I was a collector of bottles and cans.[hahaha! Priceless!]
Comment Written 21-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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Ah! A lovely six! Thank you so much, Amahra. It's so good having you along on this play.
Jay
Comment from Liz O'Neill
I'm confused.This didn't look anything like the one you sent on the email. I'm doing my best to follow the the inventive idea you are requesting. There was no putting down of Zachary in the beginning of this for which I wrote his song. Please explain alittle more.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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I'm confused.This didn't look anything like the one you sent on the email. I'm doing my best to follow the the inventive idea you are requesting. There was no putting down of Zachary in the beginning of this for which I wrote his song. Please explain alittle more.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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As I explained in the email, the one I linked you to was an old version that I developed this from. The characters' hearts are the same, but in the new one I am just enlarging the window of their experience and changing the date frame of reference.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I smile as I read this. I can't help it. I feel sorry for Zachary but even more sorry for Mr. Kincade. He's just trying to do his job and Zachary is making it impossible. I'm sure he's going to get a job out of this.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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I smile as I read this. I can't help it. I feel sorry for Zachary but even more sorry for Mr. Kincade. He's just trying to do his job and Zachary is making it impossible. I'm sure he's going to get a job out of this.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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Don't be so sure, Barbara. LOL, but if he doesn't it won't be for lack of trying on either's part. Again, thank you for reading and I'm so happy you enjoyed it enough to give it a six!
Jay
Comment from Sally Law
I must catch up and having said that, this will be the last five until the end of the script. Sigh. . . . I hate, positively hate to give you less than a six.
Having paid my pentance, and caught up my account with you this past Sunday, I will continue.
This is marvelous as the others and so telling of the life of Zachary and his past. I too suffer from a large scar over my eye the size of California, but thankfully , it has faded over the years. It was not from boxing, I'm glad to report.
A delightful pause in the story as Zachary is a Duke. It would be a pity to be back on the streets.
I am amazed at your gifted pen. Sending a high five with compliments.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, dear Jay.q
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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I must catch up and having said that, this will be the last five until the end of the script. Sigh. . . . I hate, positively hate to give you less than a six.
Having paid my pentance, and caught up my account with you this past Sunday, I will continue.
This is marvelous as the others and so telling of the life of Zachary and his past. I too suffer from a large scar over my eye the size of California, but thankfully , it has faded over the years. It was not from boxing, I'm glad to report.
A delightful pause in the story as Zachary is a Duke. It would be a pity to be back on the streets.
I am amazed at your gifted pen. Sending a high five with compliments.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, dear Jay.q
Sal XOs
Comment Written 21-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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Sally, don't ever feel bad about giving a six. Not when your heart is so big and your intentions so warm. I'm a tad confused about the mention that Zachary was a Duke. You are the second person to say that, and I'm befuddled at what I wrote to have the two of you think that. Zachary had taken on the fight in England and was soundly beaten by " a burly Brit", and the Duke of Edenburgh happened to be watching from ringside and his shirt got splattered by the blood from Zachary's head hitting the corner post. But I need to go back and clarify what might have led you to believe that Zachary was the Duke.
Sally, again I thank you more than you know for taking time to read my play. I hope you had a marvelous Thanksgiving, as I certainly did. Give my best to your hubby and family. You are richly gifted by your happiness together.
Jay
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It was probably me. I have been sick for over a month now. I?m surprised that I can read or write at all. Good heavens, my brain has gone bye-bye. Hopefully it will circle back. LOL! Blessings,
Sal XOs
Comment from Annmuma
This is delightful! I love Zachary and, in a weird way, he reminded me of a woman I recently interviewed for a job at my agency. I was looking for an insurance customer service person .. and thought that was fairly clear in my ad. This lady was interesting and fun to talk with, but her total past experience was working on her father's farm in Minnesota. It was one of the most interesting interviews I've ever conducted -- she did tell me she had taken in a couple of wolf cubs and trained them as pets. It was difficult not to consider this as the right background to deal with some of my clientele!
Back to Zachary. I love him! I will continue to eagerly follow him in his adventures. The dialogue is easy flowing in that I could find myself relating.
Good job.
ann
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2022
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This is delightful! I love Zachary and, in a weird way, he reminded me of a woman I recently interviewed for a job at my agency. I was looking for an insurance customer service person .. and thought that was fairly clear in my ad. This lady was interesting and fun to talk with, but her total past experience was working on her father's farm in Minnesota. It was one of the most interesting interviews I've ever conducted -- she did tell me she had taken in a couple of wolf cubs and trained them as pets. It was difficult not to consider this as the right background to deal with some of my clientele!
Back to Zachary. I love him! I will continue to eagerly follow him in his adventures. The dialogue is easy flowing in that I could find myself relating.
Good job.
ann
Comment Written 21-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2022
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Ann, you are an inspiration! And that interviewee sounds intriguing. Having sold insurance for 40 years before retirement, I'm thinking that would be her slot. I'm so happy you're following this play.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Lol, isn't Zachary a sweetheart? Bless him, he's so innocent of mind, he couldn't begin to be nasty, rude or whatever wasn't nice in his mind. Now it seems Kincade thinks he is unemployable, aww. I loved the scene about being a lawn - mower, Lol, that was such fun! There is so much to like in this story, Jay, and it will make a fabulous musical. Did you get many offers to help with that? I'd be absolutely useless. I much enjoyed this part, my friend. Well done!! :)) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2022
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Lol, isn't Zachary a sweetheart? Bless him, he's so innocent of mind, he couldn't begin to be nasty, rude or whatever wasn't nice in his mind. Now it seems Kincade thinks he is unemployable, aww. I loved the scene about being a lawn - mower, Lol, that was such fun! There is so much to like in this story, Jay, and it will make a fabulous musical. Did you get many offers to help with that? I'd be absolutely useless. I much enjoyed this part, my friend. Well done!! :)) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 21-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2022
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Sandra, as always you keep my sails billowed out. I hope you're right about this being a good musical. I do have about 7 people signed up and getting some marvelous fare. Thank you for your sixth lovely star! -- Jay
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is as entertaining and thought-provoking as ever. I particularly liked:
But experience is a gainable commodity.
One of the eternal examples of the catch-22 paradox, expressed in a nutshell. Kate xx
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2022
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This is as entertaining and thought-provoking as ever. I particularly liked:
But experience is a gainable commodity.
One of the eternal examples of the catch-22 paradox, expressed in a nutshell. Kate xx
Comment Written 21-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2022
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Yes, I do tend to get my characters in those catch-22 scenarios, don't I? Thank you, as usual, for weighing in.
Comment from pome lover
This is wonderful.
I love "You've covered the A's admirably, sir" and "pithy, pertinent, accurate, sir, yes." and 'my mower whirring merrily down the hallway, and so much more.
I'm afraid it's too late tonight to "ding" your email, but will send my lyrics in la manana.
Jay, have reread and where was the front porch swing and where was Kincade, the Indian chief and his daughter going?
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2022
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This is wonderful.
I love "You've covered the A's admirably, sir" and "pithy, pertinent, accurate, sir, yes." and 'my mower whirring merrily down the hallway, and so much more.
I'm afraid it's too late tonight to "ding" your email, but will send my lyrics in la manana.
Jay, have reread and where was the front porch swing and where was Kincade, the Indian chief and his daughter going?
Comment Written 21-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2022
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Oh, Katharine, you're a doll! I think I had more fun with this scene than any other. Zachary spoke to me from a deep place and we connected as I whipped through it in record time. I'm anxious to see what you came up with.
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Thanks, I sent them this morning early.
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Bear with me, Katharine. I've had some business away from my regular work today and hadn't even gotten to my emails as yet. I hope to soon.
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I understand. I'm leaving for Austin, my self, tomorrow for a few days.
Comment from Mario PIERRE
I think you did a good job writing all these dialogues and 'repartis', as the French would have it. The whole scene flows along well.
Good script!!
Mario
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2022
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I think you did a good job writing all these dialogues and 'repartis', as the French would have it. The whole scene flows along well.
Good script!!
Mario
Comment Written 21-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2022
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Many thanks, Mario! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I hope it's one of many visits. -- Jay