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Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "NYCDoHD Spells: Jobs"
A Musical in One Act

25 total reviews 
Comment from Spitfire
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So Kincaide wants to find jobs for deserving people. Zachery is laying out his 'credentials'. Toward the end of the scene, however, he seems to politely attack the kind of man Kincade has become-- a dance monkey, as a described in my last post. (I feel as if I am back in college studying Theatre of the Absurd!)

 Comment Written 14-Nov-2022


reply by the author on 16-Nov-2022
    Oh, I wish I could have taken a course in the Theater of the Absurd. I was a great fan of it with Ionesco and Chomsky (?). Be sure and watch the next scene. Mr. Kincade's big reveal will be presented.
    Thank you for being so kind and supportive.
    Jay
Comment from JoannaN
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Hello, thanks for sharing scene 3 with us. One question concerning Zachary - does he speak Spanish well? Maybe it would be a nice idea to accompany his songs with some Spanish phrases (something like Shakira does in her songs)?

 Comment Written 14-Nov-2022


reply by the author on 14-Nov-2022
    That's definitely a way to go, as long as the lyrics don't become too obscure. Go for it. Yes, Zachary was born in Spain and his mother only spoke Spanish throughout his growing up years.
reply by JoannaN on 15-Nov-2022
    I will have a go at it. One question. In this moment, I interpret Zachary as someone who is hopeful and believes in himself. Is my understanding correct? I want to convey a message that matches the scene.
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2022
    Absolutely he does ... as you will discover in the next scene. But he also he realizes he lives in a depression-riddled world and he still can't stop exfoliating his enthusiasm for life.Thank you, Joanna. I'll look forward to reading it.
reply by JoannaN on 15-Nov-2022
    Thank you for answer :) I need to mull it over.
Comment from amahra
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Very entertaining chapter; your ability to always engage your reader is astounding. However, perhaps it's too early in the story, but so far none of the characters has instantly warmed my heart, like Cornelius, Cililla, and Fanny. I think you may have spoiled me with those lovable characters. It's like Michael Jackson trying to top Thriller. LOL! But I'll keep reading. I'm sure one or two may grow on me.

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2022


reply by the author on 13-Nov-2022
    Yes, Amahra, give it another scene. There is a big reveal with Mr. Kincade that may open up the channels to empathy. Thanks as usual, for your deep read and your six lovely stars.

    Jay
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
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This is an interesting scene with an unusual client. Mr. Kincade is really challenged here to think of a possible job for Zachery. Zachery comes across as an innocent with no clear idea what he is or can do.

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2022


reply by the author on 13-Nov-2022
    Yes, I think you might have keyed into Zachary quite well.
    Thank you for your enthusiastic support.
    Jay
Comment from judiverse
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I see you've already garnered many sixes with this. Zachary should find a place other than an employment agency to be "I am what I am." Obviously, the job seekers and the employees are getting tired of him. They even think he may be an actor honing his skills. I think Kinkade relates so closely with Zachary he is powerless to stop his flights of fancy. Great way to introduce Maryee. As I recall, she played an important part in your other play. The other job seekers have a right to be annoyed with Zachary. He seems egocentric and thinks only of himself. He's sure to be Kinkade's undoing. I thought Zachary almost had a song going when he started the lines beginning "Fool! Fool! Fool! judi

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2022


reply by the author on 13-Nov-2022
    Well, Zachary does have a few mini lines after "Fool! Fool! Fool!" I might pull the rhymes out of it, though, and keep his self-rant prose until his actual song. There will be a big reveal about Mr. Kincade next scene. Thanks for weighing in, Judi. You give me a lot of encouragement and I appreciate it.

    Jay
reply by judiverse on 15-Nov-2022
    You're welcome. I really think you could start off a song with those words. I'll be eager to see what's up with Kincade. judi
Comment from Judy Lawless
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a very intriguing plot, Jay. It's a challenge to figure Zachary out, but it seems he has the same problem. I love the way the lights flash off and on the others at their desks, just briefly to reveal a facial expression. The switch to the gallery and patrons offering their opinion, works well too. Great writing.

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2022


reply by the author on 13-Nov-2022
    Thank you, Judy. I hope it works well throughout. The big reveal on Mr. Kincade comes next time. Thank you for the six stars and the encouraging words.
reply by Judy Lawless on 13-Nov-2022
    You?re very welcome, Jay.
Comment from Ulla
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

How can I not love this. It is so well written, Jay, and you portray Zachary so very well. He really does come across as if he doesn't want a job, and he's driving poor Mr Kinkade to distraction.
That you let Zachary's birthplace be Alicante further endears him to me. Alicante is only sixty miles from where I live and it's a lovely small city with a beautiful marina next to the port.
Now, we'll have to wait to see how all this pans out. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2022


reply by the author on 13-Nov-2022
    Thank you, Ulla. Your enthusiasm and kindness mean so much to me. Your six stars are an unnecessary, but welcome bonus. I was wondering if you knew Alicante. I was going into it blind.

    Jay
Comment from John Ciarmello
Exceptional
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Sensational, Jay! Zachery's mood leading into his song seems to have taken on a solemn tone in my mind. I loved this! I can't wait to read the finishing touches. Best, JohnC

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2022


reply by the author on 13-Nov-2022
    Yes, keep that in mind if you try your hand at the lyrics for this scene. Next scene will be the big reveal for Mr. Kincade. I appreciate so much your kind words and the six stars.
Comment from susand3022
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"I yam what I yam..." This guy is so strange! How did you come up with a gypsy with a limp? Do you have a wheel to spin? LOL, I have to say, I've never heard of any gypsy that took to sailing the high seas for pleasure... or even piracy. Gypsies are notoriously family oriented. I wonder if he was... 'transported' by some opposition on one dark night, and his mother never wanted to speak of it. Perhaps that's why she left the family. Perhaps that's how he was hurt... maybe he's really King of the Gypsies, and he doesn't know! ;)
Looks like my imagination is once again getting away from me. ;)
Susan :)

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 Comment Written 13-Nov-2022


reply by the author on 13-Nov-2022
    I guess your imagination IS getting away from you, Susan, LOL, but in a good way. I wondered if anyone would connect that with Popeye. I even checked Google to see if Popeye was around in the 1930s. Thanks for your review and your kind words.
Comment from country ranch writer
Exceptional
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Down on his luck seems he is stuck with people making fun of him and he's there ti try to find work and is very confused by it all.

11/13/2022--1:23 pm

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2022


reply by the author on 13-Nov-2022
    Yes, he seems to be confused. But it goes a lot deeper than that, as will be shown in succeeding scenes, BJ. Thanks so much for reading and for the six stars.