The Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer 18"America's First Female Comic
22 total reviews
Comment from BethShelby
This was a great play. I absolutely love it. You ended it just right. Now if Miss Fanny returns as you last note indicate we might have a surprise coming she'll have to come back from the spirit world. I look forward to whatever you do next.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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This was a great play. I absolutely love it. You ended it just right. Now if Miss Fanny returns as you last note indicate we might have a surprise coming she'll have to come back from the spirit world. I look forward to whatever you do next.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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Ohhhhh, yes, Beth. There is going to be a three-scene epilogue. It was originally supposed to be one scene, but the dramatic action takes over. Bless you for the six stars, Beth.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I doubt I could ever have too much of Fanny. She's a remarkable character that is unforgettable. Thank you for sharing her with us. I really liked reading this skit.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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I doubt I could ever have too much of Fanny. She's a remarkable character that is unforgettable. Thank you for sharing her with us. I really liked reading this skit.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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Oh, Barbara, thank you for your kindness toward Fanny and of course toward me. Your six stars is stellar!
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Jay,
Good stuff here and a very fitting and satisfying curtain call.
The plane reference threw me a little. i could be wrong but I thought the first commercial flights in the US didn't occur until 1914 but considered more properly until the 20s.(1926 i think) - I might have my timeframe askew but I thought I'd mention it.
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reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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Hi Jay,
Good stuff here and a very fitting and satisfying curtain call.
The plane reference threw me a little. i could be wrong but I thought the first commercial flights in the US didn't occur until 1914 but considered more properly until the 20s.(1926 i think) - I might have my timeframe askew but I thought I'd mention it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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You are absolutely right about the commercial air travel. By 1929 they had a lot of commercial flights in America, but they were loud and uncomfortable affairs. My mistake was to have Fanny think they could have taken a commercial flight across the ocean. That would not be. You do know, don't you, that there are two (dang it), maybe three, epilog-ic scenes needed to wrap it up. Thank you, G.
Comment from Shirley McLain
Another well written scene that I enjoyed reading. I would never throw tomatoes, I liked the story too much. You did a great job. Enjoy your Sunday. Shirley
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reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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Another well written scene that I enjoyed reading. I would never throw tomatoes, I liked the story too much. You did a great job. Enjoy your Sunday. Shirley
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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Thank you, Shirley. It's good to know if anyone gets pelted, it won't be from you! Now I'm taking you at your word, girl! LOL, thanks for reading and your loyal following.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Aww, Jay, that was beautiful! Fanny told her story, all of it, just in time for the reporter to catch his train. The whole story is wrapped up nicely. It was such a sad ending, but, not a sad ending, if that makes sense. Fanny was dying, but was determined to finish her story. Once the reporter had left, she was able to give herself up the the Lord. Juniper came to meet her, and lay her head on Fanny's lap, it was such a moving ending. Well done, my friend. Now I'm wondering what the surprise is going to be in two weeks time! Hmm. Great work, my friend. Well done. Love and hugs. Sandra xx
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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Aww, Jay, that was beautiful! Fanny told her story, all of it, just in time for the reporter to catch his train. The whole story is wrapped up nicely. It was such a sad ending, but, not a sad ending, if that makes sense. Fanny was dying, but was determined to finish her story. Once the reporter had left, she was able to give herself up the the Lord. Juniper came to meet her, and lay her head on Fanny's lap, it was such a moving ending. Well done, my friend. Now I'm wondering what the surprise is going to be in two weeks time! Hmm. Great work, my friend. Well done. Love and hugs. Sandra xx
Comment Written 28-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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You are so sweet, as usual, Sandra. I'm happy you had the feeling of completion with Fanny's death. There is still a question of Thomas Maples who has the poem which was torn off the bottom of the ledger. That's enough for a three-part epilogue.
Comment from Father Flaps
Good Morning, Jay
All I can say is "Wow!" You nailed it. That reporter had to use a crowbar, but finally got the whole story out of Fanny. But, in doing so, Fanny's life was slowly fading. Her candle of light was flickering. I think she knew it. Juni was there, waiting in the background to guide her home to Heaven. Fanny could see her. Of course, the reporter couldn't. He was too busy, digging with his sharp shovel. The train whistle was blowing in the back ground. Herbie was calling from the street... "Y'all ready, Mr. Holmdahl? Th' train be leavin' in half n'hour." The sand in the hour glass was getting down to those last sparkling grains.
An awesome story. And I knew there was more to it. Thurston Flourney had cancer. "He be the knowin'est, the sneakiest 'tective on this green earth. He tells my Juni thet Flourney has cancer ... an thet, young man, be what lighted th' final far." It wasn't enough for him to pass from this earth by cancer. Juni had to make him pay for what he had done. And she wanted a crowd of witnesses. She carried out her vendetta... even though it meant possible a death sentence, or at least time in a prison ... even though it meant losing Fanny. Thurston Flourney had cancer, yes, but so did poor Juni. Juni's cancer was hatred for the man who killed her father, just because he was black. And that cancer is still festering in men today... white supremacists... who think they are superior and should dominate society, especially blacks and Jews. It's what Hitler believed. Evil still lurks in the hearts of men. And that's why this play should be made into a movie!
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One spot to repair, (I think)
"You know, it could have been a lot more if she'd have let it grow (it) in her husband's investment portfolio." ... (is that "it" supposed to be there, Jay? It would read more clearly, I think, without it.
You know, it could have been a lot more if she'd have let it grow in her husband's investment portfolio.)
Congratulations, Jay. This deserves more than six stars.
Cheers,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2022
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Good Morning, Jay
All I can say is "Wow!" You nailed it. That reporter had to use a crowbar, but finally got the whole story out of Fanny. But, in doing so, Fanny's life was slowly fading. Her candle of light was flickering. I think she knew it. Juni was there, waiting in the background to guide her home to Heaven. Fanny could see her. Of course, the reporter couldn't. He was too busy, digging with his sharp shovel. The train whistle was blowing in the back ground. Herbie was calling from the street... "Y'all ready, Mr. Holmdahl? Th' train be leavin' in half n'hour." The sand in the hour glass was getting down to those last sparkling grains.
An awesome story. And I knew there was more to it. Thurston Flourney had cancer. "He be the knowin'est, the sneakiest 'tective on this green earth. He tells my Juni thet Flourney has cancer ... an thet, young man, be what lighted th' final far." It wasn't enough for him to pass from this earth by cancer. Juni had to make him pay for what he had done. And she wanted a crowd of witnesses. She carried out her vendetta... even though it meant possible a death sentence, or at least time in a prison ... even though it meant losing Fanny. Thurston Flourney had cancer, yes, but so did poor Juni. Juni's cancer was hatred for the man who killed her father, just because he was black. And that cancer is still festering in men today... white supremacists... who think they are superior and should dominate society, especially blacks and Jews. It's what Hitler believed. Evil still lurks in the hearts of men. And that's why this play should be made into a movie!
**************************************************
One spot to repair, (I think)
"You know, it could have been a lot more if she'd have let it grow (it) in her husband's investment portfolio." ... (is that "it" supposed to be there, Jay? It would read more clearly, I think, without it.
You know, it could have been a lot more if she'd have let it grow in her husband's investment portfolio.)
Congratulations, Jay. This deserves more than six stars.
Cheers,
Kimbob
Comment Written 28-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2022
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You were spot on in your analysis of that sentence. I removed the extraneous word. Thank you so very much, Kimbob, for your enduring support these long months of writing this. Two more scenes in the epilogue and it's bye-bye Fanny.
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I'll be sorry to see this one end, Jay.
Comment from John Ciarmello
JAY! Omg! I wish I had twelve stars, my friend. What a sad but beautiful ending. It all fell into place so brilliantly. I didn't want to see the final curtain call come, but I know you will be moving on to more brilliance. Loved it! I twist off my popcorn bag and put it away -- for now. :) Best, JohnC.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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JAY! Omg! I wish I had twelve stars, my friend. What a sad but beautiful ending. It all fell into place so brilliantly. I didn't want to see the final curtain call come, but I know you will be moving on to more brilliance. Loved it! I twist off my popcorn bag and put it away -- for now. :) Best, JohnC.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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Oh, I am so, so, so very happy you found the ending satisfying. Now all we have to wade through is a three-part epilogue. I mean there is still the poem that was torn from the bottom of the ledger. And why would she tell Robert he would have to see Thomas Maples about the poem? Be ready to open up that popcorn bag again. (Gaaa, that sounds good. I'm gonna go pop some.)
John your six stars is such a delight!
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Ahh, so very true! And I thought I was exiting stage left with you or right or whichever way you exit the stage, lol. I'll be in the front row! :)
Comment from Ulla
Hi Jay, that was a fantastic curtain down. And what a story! You are a wonderful script writer, what a talent. The interaction between the reporter and Fanny is marvelous. It carries the story. Fanny's brain is sharp as nails. It was a beautiful ending which brought a little tear to my eyes. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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Hi Jay, that was a fantastic curtain down. And what a story! You are a wonderful script writer, what a talent. The interaction between the reporter and Fanny is marvelous. It carries the story. Fanny's brain is sharp as nails. It was a beautiful ending which brought a little tear to my eyes. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 28-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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Thank you so much, Ulla. It means a lot that you found the ending enjoyable. Can you hold out for a three-part epilogue, starting next week? Your six stars have me grinning again!
Comment from amahra
Ah, that was lovely, Jay. I almost cried. First, I want to say how much I admire your interest towards your reader: When Fanny had that long speech that nearly made my eyes cross...lol... you came right in with the reporter saying, "Now let me see if I got this right..." and he repeated what she had said, (and don't mad lol) then I understood from his repeating it. Brilliant, Jay. It was a great ending, though I understand there are two more. Can't wait. See why you're the king of the scripts. :))
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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Ah, that was lovely, Jay. I almost cried. First, I want to say how much I admire your interest towards your reader: When Fanny had that long speech that nearly made my eyes cross...lol... you came right in with the reporter saying, "Now let me see if I got this right..." and he repeated what she had said, (and don't mad lol) then I understood from his repeating it. Brilliant, Jay. It was a great ending, though I understand there are two more. Can't wait. See why you're the king of the scripts. :))
Comment Written 28-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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Bless you, Amahra, for your kindness and your lovely six stars! I'm glad you saw the function in having The Reporter summarize. I think it also kept him in character as a caring, dedicated writer who wants to make sure the facts are straight. Yes, I did say two more scenes in the epilogue. Already I'm lying. It will go three.
Jay
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Is the reporter onto something here?: " And ... still--a whole year passed before you left for Texas. & she catches it: " Y'ain't lettin' nothin' git past y'all, are ya, Robert?" I love how you have the 2 of them bantering away. & "An' to save you y'all's infernal questionin', Mister Reporter ..." This is a great approach. The reporter's reaction cues the reader how to react: "Oh, geez!"
The reader will lean forward for this next line: "You know what I'm going to ask, don't you, Miss Fanny?" Now the reader's baffled: "(Watching the REPORTER'S face pull a baffled look)" At an earlier point, I began feeling very sad. I must have sensed how you were going to be done with this series. I am sad, but understand. Writers and their muses know when it is time to move onto new work. I'm glad, it is Sunday so I can give you 6 shinies and A+
If you per chance have more like these, I'm game.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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Is the reporter onto something here?: " And ... still--a whole year passed before you left for Texas. & she catches it: " Y'ain't lettin' nothin' git past y'all, are ya, Robert?" I love how you have the 2 of them bantering away. & "An' to save you y'all's infernal questionin', Mister Reporter ..." This is a great approach. The reporter's reaction cues the reader how to react: "Oh, geez!"
The reader will lean forward for this next line: "You know what I'm going to ask, don't you, Miss Fanny?" Now the reader's baffled: "(Watching the REPORTER'S face pull a baffled look)" At an earlier point, I began feeling very sad. I must have sensed how you were going to be done with this series. I am sad, but understand. Writers and their muses know when it is time to move onto new work. I'm glad, it is Sunday so I can give you 6 shinies and A+
If you per chance have more like these, I'm game.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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Your six stars! Thank you. For your astute attention to details. Another thank you. But hang on ... There's still the problem with the poem that was torn from the bottom of the ledger. Tom Maples, editor of the Brady Sentinal has it. As much as I'm anxious to get on to new things, there will be a three-part epilogue. I was hoping for two, but as I was working on the second part, I realized how very long-winded I am.
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The same happens to me. I try to keep my chapter to 900 words. So I'm working on a chapter and writing & writing & count where I am. I'm at 1200. So now I already have 300 into the next chapter...you know the rest...lol
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Exactly!
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lol