The Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer 16"America's First Female Comic
27 total reviews
Comment from giraffmang
hi Jay,
A further development here with the uncle, giving good reason and justification to Juni's turn. Makes it feel much more well-rounded and justified character-wise. Good inclusion for a satisfying pay off.
After all, She did seem to find it hard to keep a secret. - she.
All the best
G
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2022
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hi Jay,
A further development here with the uncle, giving good reason and justification to Juni's turn. Makes it feel much more well-rounded and justified character-wise. Good inclusion for a satisfying pay off.
After all, She did seem to find it hard to keep a secret. - she.
All the best
G
Comment Written 03-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2022
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Awwww, thank you, G. I'm glad you liked the inclusion of Peter. I needed some outside source to light a fire in her. I'm working on that part now, but I think it will provide believable motivation. I appreciate your confidence in me.
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
What a tale. You must have put as much effort into creating the dialect as you did in imagining the overall story. Coming to the party late, I only became an active FS writer/reader/reviewer about three months ago, I know I have missed some, a lot, of Fanny's story. But this edition, I think, makes up for it.
Great story telling.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2022
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What a tale. You must have put as much effort into creating the dialect as you did in imagining the overall story. Coming to the party late, I only became an active FS writer/reader/reviewer about three months ago, I know I have missed some, a lot, of Fanny's story. But this edition, I think, makes up for it.
Great story telling.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2022
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Thank you, Gary. Yes, I have spent a lot of time fine-tuning her dialect. It came from my Grandmother about 75 years ago. Some of it must have caked onto my memory. The overall story evolved -- is actually evolving with each new scene. Not the most efficient way to write. After it is all over (if I were to pursue marketing this) I would be excising huge parts of the script and cutting it down to half its size.
At any rate, I'm glad to have you aboard and hope you stay tuned for the final couple of scenes. You are appreciated!
Jay
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Peter is an interesting character and sounds like he could have influence Juni more than the aunt who couldn't keep a secret. Don't mind at all that there is more to enjoy.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2022
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Peter is an interesting character and sounds like he could have influence Juni more than the aunt who couldn't keep a secret. Don't mind at all that there is more to enjoy.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2022
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I'm glad, Carol. I think I am leading a very small band of people who are getting tired of wading through the Fanny dialect. Far more tell me they love her and, like you, want more. Go figure. Thank you, Carol for being a regular for this play. You are appreciated.
Jay
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Yes, I love her, but her dialect is just a little too intense. At least go back and add the w to was like my Missouri family do.
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Yeah, you suggested that before, Carol. I'll take a fresh look at it.
Comment from Ulla
You're incorrigible, Jay, and thanks for being that way. Yet again you take us through an enticing story with so many truths to be revealed. I'm just looking forward to what's next. You're creating an amazing script with an amazing character. She will stay with me for a very long time. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2022
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You're incorrigible, Jay, and thanks for being that way. Yet again you take us through an enticing story with so many truths to be revealed. I'm just looking forward to what's next. You're creating an amazing script with an amazing character. She will stay with me for a very long time. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 02-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2022
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I really didn't want to extend it this far. It's terribly hard for this old codger to write, but what can I do when there was little or no motivation for Juniper to have sustained her pursuit of Thurston Flourney, knowing she would be suffering the consequences. I needed something, or someone, to light the fire in her. I'm hoping just a few paragraphs about Peter will do that.
As usual, thank you for making this seem so worthwhile.
Jay
Comment from judiverse
I sense a plan to carry this out until the end of the year. Bringing in the Sojourner Truth bit added to the drama. It's interesting you resurrected Peter, because I don't believe he was actually heard from again after he went to sea. I like your description of him. We all take liberties with these stories. You end with a question that will leave everyone wondering. Remember, be kind to actors and think of their stamina as you write. judi
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2022
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I sense a plan to carry this out until the end of the year. Bringing in the Sojourner Truth bit added to the drama. It's interesting you resurrected Peter, because I don't believe he was actually heard from again after he went to sea. I like your description of him. We all take liberties with these stories. You end with a question that will leave everyone wondering. Remember, be kind to actors and think of their stamina as you write. judi
Comment Written 02-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2022
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As much as actors make. I'll let them worry about stamina! Lol, I'm kidding, of course. About Peter. Yes, he went to sea. He and his mother wrote for a while, but her last three letters he claimed he never received. Then all communication ceased. To me ... that's fair game and rich territory for fiction to roam about.
Judi, thank you so much for your six stars. I'm simply stoked that you find it worthwhile.
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You're very welcome. The situation with Peter does deserve further exploration. Fascinating to speculate. I like that you brought him back. judi
Comment from John Ciarmello
I'm not giving you a SIX, Jay. I'm giving Peter a six for keeping the saga going. I would guess he would have to share, though, lol. I know the ending is near for Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer, and the dialect is beginning to rule your life, I'm sure. Still, I can honestly say this has been entertaining for me and all of your followers, and Fanny has become unforgettable in my heart and mind.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2022
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I'm not giving you a SIX, Jay. I'm giving Peter a six for keeping the saga going. I would guess he would have to share, though, lol. I know the ending is near for Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer, and the dialect is beginning to rule your life, I'm sure. Still, I can honestly say this has been entertaining for me and all of your followers, and Fanny has become unforgettable in my heart and mind.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2022
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Wow, you couldn't have said more than you did to boost my morale, John. Yes ... Fanny has taken over in an unhealthy manner and I'm anxious to bring this to a close. Thank you, though, for your loyalty, and, like Brian Hyland lyrically put it back in the sixties ... It's sealed with a six! Who could ask for more?
Comment from Theodore McDowell
Three things I like about your scenes in general. The great dialogue, the creative and well-crafted dialect, and the slow reveal of the plot and what changed Juni.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2022
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Three things I like about your scenes in general. The great dialogue, the creative and well-crafted dialect, and the slow reveal of the plot and what changed Juni.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2022
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As you might be able to tell, Tim, I'm having a hard time with Juni's reveal, as I explained in the authors notes. I'm getting kind of tired of it all.
Comment from MissMerri
I found your author notes quite amusing, and your Act III Scene 5, equally entertaining. It is amazing to me that you can write in this dialect all the way, and never stumble or trip at all. It is kind of fun to read this, and hear Fanny's voice clear and unmistakable in my head. I am enjoying this story and look forward to the next part. Dinner can wait. MM
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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I found your author notes quite amusing, and your Act III Scene 5, equally entertaining. It is amazing to me that you can write in this dialect all the way, and never stumble or trip at all. It is kind of fun to read this, and hear Fanny's voice clear and unmistakable in my head. I am enjoying this story and look forward to the next part. Dinner can wait. MM
Comment Written 01-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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Miss Merri, you are a jewel. You make me feel like all the work I put into Fanny's dialect is worth while. Bless you, and ... please come back.
Comment from Ric Myworld
I keep telling myself that I'm not going to read screenplays, but you've go me to looking forward to next week's posts. Thanks for sharing. ..........................
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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I keep telling myself that I'm not going to read screenplays, but you've go me to looking forward to next week's posts. Thanks for sharing. ..........................
Comment Written 01-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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Dang git, Ric, you make it hard for me to get rid of this silly smile on my mug. Thank you so much for your enthusiasm and the six lovely stars!
Comment from lancellot
Well, this is should be a fairy easy play to act, as long as the actors remember their lines. Hey, if the story isn't done, then it isn't done. The characters make the tale, not the writer.
Good work.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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Well, this is should be a fairy easy play to act, as long as the actors remember their lines. Hey, if the story isn't done, then it isn't done. The characters make the tale, not the writer.
Good work.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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Thank you, Lance. I'm the one that wants this thing to end. I'm surprised I let myself fall into the trap of her dialect. What was I thinking? I should have known I couldn't suddenly have her speak the King's English! Thank you for reading this though.