The Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer 11"America's First Female Comic
30 total reviews
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Wow, this southern accent "FANNY:
I reckon he was. Me--I was jes fourteen. Mama waren't no hep. Her head be outen th' pasture somewheres. I jes lissen, an' yes, I be scared fer my Daddy." and another victim of racial misjudgment. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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Wow, this southern accent "FANNY:
I reckon he was. Me--I was jes fourteen. Mama waren't no hep. Her head be outen th' pasture somewheres. I jes lissen, an' yes, I be scared fer my Daddy." and another victim of racial misjudgment. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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Thank you, Iza. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Oh, that poor man! How awful that judge was; so racist, and he carried on to judge Fanny's father as the villian of the whole case! The problem is the judge is dead now, unless he's in his 100s. I'm sitting here wanting to punch a pillow!!! Wonderful chapter, Jay, and I can't wait to read the next part!! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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Oh, that poor man! How awful that judge was; so racist, and he carried on to judge Fanny's father as the villian of the whole case! The problem is the judge is dead now, unless he's in his 100s. I'm sitting here wanting to punch a pillow!!! Wonderful chapter, Jay, and I can't wait to read the next part!! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 06-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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LOL, I hope it's your couch pillow. Wouldn't want you sleeping with a hundred-year-old jedge! Ooooops, thanks for the sixer, Sandra.
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Definitely a pillow!! 🤣😂 xx
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Jay,
Another fine script. I was thinking that today was going to be the grand finale, but I see that I was wrong. I know that it's got to be a lot of work to put together, and I applaud you for that. I fear that I may be gone before I see the next installment, but if I am, I hope I can find it upon my return, however long that may be. Well done buddy.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
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Hello Jay,
Another fine script. I was thinking that today was going to be the grand finale, but I see that I was wrong. I know that it's got to be a lot of work to put together, and I applaud you for that. I fear that I may be gone before I see the next installment, but if I am, I hope I can find it upon my return, however long that may be. Well done buddy.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
Comment Written 05-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
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My goodness, Tom, you're taking a hiatus from FS? I shall miss you. Yes, I think I have four more scenes, mainly to fill in backstory gaps that would be unsettling if they weren't filled.
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Hi Jay,
Yeah, I've got a commercial fishing boat down in Southeast Alaska that needs tending to and fishing season is about to start. Last year I managed to stick it out until September, but don't know if I can handle it that long this year. Depends on the fishing I guess. I'll be sure to look you up when I get back though. I'll still be here until Saturday.
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Hey, ya gotta put food on the table. I understand. I will be posting the next scene Saturday, but at 9 PM CA time. If you're around, please do read it. LOL, I need the headcount to get me to 26 and ATB.
Comment from lyenochka
Well, that was a clever way to use the newspaper clipping to give a standard English account of the trial. Then we didn't have to wade through Miss Fanny's dialect to decipher what happened. Still it's rather sad that her father, the victim, was victimized.
Comments:
as a kind stew of white-noise (as a kind of stew?)
a blow to the solar plexes, (plexus)
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
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Well, that was a clever way to use the newspaper clipping to give a standard English account of the trial. Then we didn't have to wade through Miss Fanny's dialect to decipher what happened. Still it's rather sad that her father, the victim, was victimized.
Comments:
as a kind stew of white-noise (as a kind of stew?)
a blow to the solar plexes, (plexus)
Comment Written 05-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
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Thank you for your correction on plexus. I'll change it straight away. A stew is a heavy soup with many types of veggies in it, so a stew of white noise would be many different noises so blended as to be almost indistinguishable. I wonder if it is an American usage. No one mentioned not understanding it before. (BTW, I am so ready to be away from Fanny's dialect. But the reprieve is only for this scene and the next, before we's back!
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My question wasn't about what stew meant, Jay. It was asking you if it should be a "kind of stew" instead of "kind stew." 😊
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Ouch! That has been corrected as well as the plexus! Thank you for persisting!
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I felt bad about persisting but I'm glad you took it well - Lol. 😊
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Coming from you, Helen, there is only one way to take it. Your reviews are always here to nudge the best out of us.
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💖
Comment from Annmuma
Well, I'm still here and will be until the bitter end! This is a fascinating story told with such imagery and detail that I am mesmerized....... and, as I've said before, I don't read scrips.... by every word!
You allow your reader to sit in the court, on the judge's bench and to peek in a window at the entire scent.
I wish I could find one little thing to complain about.. lol. Wonderful job ann
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
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Well, I'm still here and will be until the bitter end! This is a fascinating story told with such imagery and detail that I am mesmerized....... and, as I've said before, I don't read scrips.... by every word!
You allow your reader to sit in the court, on the judge's bench and to peek in a window at the entire scent.
I wish I could find one little thing to complain about.. lol. Wonderful job ann
Comment Written 05-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
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I'm happy you can't find one little thing to complain about. Haha, thanks Ann for your continued support. It felt good to get away from Fanny's dialect with this one, but only one more scene of the Reporter's writing, then we're back in the thick of it until the curtain drops. (About four more scenes). Your six was the whipped cream on the top, dear, thanks!
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is excruciatingly written to take the heart out of the audience who admire Fanny and her daddy. The editorializing writer for the Chicago Times saw injustice and showed it with his words. Mister Barnwarmer suffered the ultimate injustice.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
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This is excruciatingly written to take the heart out of the audience who admire Fanny and her daddy. The editorializing writer for the Chicago Times saw injustice and showed it with his words. Mister Barnwarmer suffered the ultimate injustice.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
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Thank you for your kind words, your lovely six stars, and the fact that you took the time to read it closely for effect. That makes me feel good.
Comment from Olivanne Marsh
I am impressed, great job, especially with the newspaper article. You captured well the style of reporting in the early 19th century, and the writing was flawless. I loved reading this, you've got a fan. I'll read the whole book. Your note to reader at the end, anticipates criticism that I hope you find doesn't exist or at least is minimal. You boiled it down to the essentials and it was so well done, it was enough! It rocked!
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
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I am impressed, great job, especially with the newspaper article. You captured well the style of reporting in the early 19th century, and the writing was flawless. I loved reading this, you've got a fan. I'll read the whole book. Your note to reader at the end, anticipates criticism that I hope you find doesn't exist or at least is minimal. You boiled it down to the essentials and it was so well done, it was enough! It rocked!
Comment Written 05-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
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Oh, my ... Olivanne!!! Thank you so much for your six stars and your lovely words. I feel so blessed having you along for the long haul, my friend. As to the note ... account it to my age and grumpiness. Responses like yours make me have second guesses about that.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
So the men who did the actual murder get off and Fanny's father is sort of accused. Wow!! You are doing a great job writing this. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
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So the men who did the actual murder get off and Fanny's father is sort of accused. Wow!! You are doing a great job writing this. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
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Thank you, Barbara. I reviewed a few lessons from your plotting expertise.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Having never been a reader of scripts, it's your remarkable talents with characters and dialog that keeps me coming back to check in, wishing I had hung tough from the beginning. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
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Having never been a reader of scripts, it's your remarkable talents with characters and dialog that keeps me coming back to check in, wishing I had hung tough from the beginning. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
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Thank you so much, Ric! It's just good to have you here and reading my stuff. Hope to continue keeping you aboard.
Comment from Judy Lawless
This isn't a story one can skim over quickly before reviewing, Jay. There is much to be considered and pieced together like a quilt, as you mention. But still, I'm drawn to it, anxious to see the final work. Your telling is amazing. I'm sorry you've lost some readers, but that happens to many of us. Hugs.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
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This isn't a story one can skim over quickly before reviewing, Jay. There is much to be considered and pieced together like a quilt, as you mention. But still, I'm drawn to it, anxious to see the final work. Your telling is amazing. I'm sorry you've lost some readers, but that happens to many of us. Hugs.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
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First of all, thanks for the six. It means a lot, not just as a way of keeping score, but because there is feeling beneath it. But your words give me hope as well. Thank you for that.
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You are most welcome, Jay.