Quiet Lawyer
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Quiet Lawyer Chapter 5"Can a broken heart be mended?
26 total reviews
Comment from Wayne Fowler
You have the relationship and story moving. Good work.
"I need to talk to him. Can I go to the pond?" She glanced toward the door. Where is it?" - quotation marks
Pat and I have history; probably since elementary school." - comma?
"I wonder who that could be. - closing quotes
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
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You have the relationship and story moving. Good work.
"I need to talk to him. Can I go to the pond?" She glanced toward the door. Where is it?" - quotation marks
Pat and I have history; probably since elementary school." - comma?
"I wonder who that could be. - closing quotes
Best wishes.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
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Thank you for those catches. I have no clue what happened to those quotations marks. I swear gremblins took them out. LOL I appreciate the help.
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I absolutely understand!""
(git back where you belong, you little stinker.)
Comment from nomi338
Pat sounds like a real winner. NOT. Something tells me that he is in for a real big surprise when he finds out that Ali is turned off by his racism toward Mexican Americans. Especially people that she is fond of. Some people never seem to get it, they think that everyone who looks like them, thinks like them.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
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Pat sounds like a real winner. NOT. Something tells me that he is in for a real big surprise when he finds out that Ali is turned off by his racism toward Mexican Americans. Especially people that she is fond of. Some people never seem to get it, they think that everyone who looks like them, thinks like them.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
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We'll discover that Pat is a very bad person. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Heather Burroughs
This chapter just makes me even more excited about the next one.
Great work.
Your always do a phenomenal job with dialogue. Thank you for sharing. Many blessings to you
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
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This chapter just makes me even more excited about the next one.
Great work.
Your always do a phenomenal job with dialogue. Thank you for sharing. Many blessings to you
Comment Written 12-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Judy Lawless
It's good to see Cord and Alexandra are feeling a little more comfortable with each other. Their dialogue is less stilted, and they are open to sharing their feelings. I like this.
One suggestion I have is maybe change up some of the sentences you start with "as". Perhaps use "when" or something else in some instances?
A couple of little typos:
"As Rose(Rosa) set breakfast on the table..."
"You might be onto (to) something."
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
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It's good to see Cord and Alexandra are feeling a little more comfortable with each other. Their dialogue is less stilted, and they are open to sharing their feelings. I like this.
One suggestion I have is maybe change up some of the sentences you start with "as". Perhaps use "when" or something else in some instances?
A couple of little typos:
"As Rose(Rosa) set breakfast on the table..."
"You might be onto (to) something."
Comment Written 12-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
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Thank you for the catches. I've made the changes. I will watch the 'as'. I try to vary them. I must have gotten careless. I appreciate the help.
Comment from lancellot
The writing is good as is the editing. Everything is consistent with your storytelling style.
notes:
"Why don't you take my {SUV?} It's laundry day and some ladies
- Are you sure about SUV? Isn't car what most people say?
Cordero chuckled. "Since you're a city gal, you do know how to drive, don't you?"
- Do small town people really think this? She is an adult, a lawyer, an independent woman.
when a tall handsome gentleman stood beside her table.
- How is he handsome?
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
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The writing is good as is the editing. Everything is consistent with your storytelling style.
notes:
"Why don't you take my {SUV?} It's laundry day and some ladies
- Are you sure about SUV? Isn't car what most people say?
Cordero chuckled. "Since you're a city gal, you do know how to drive, don't you?"
- Do small town people really think this? She is an adult, a lawyer, an independent woman.
when a tall handsome gentleman stood beside her table.
- How is he handsome?
Comment Written 12-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
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Yes, in Texas people actually do call them SUV. Many people from NYC do not drive, for real they do not. I do not describe actual looks because what is handsome to me, may not be handsome to you. That is an individual thing and I want my readers to use their imagination. They do know he has is tall and an American. So from that use your imagination.
Comment from eliz100
This chapter was very interesting to read. I am looking forward to see what happens with Cord, Pat and Ali. I do not see any need for improvement. The picture goes great with this chapter.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
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This chapter was very interesting to read. I am looking forward to see what happens with Cord, Pat and Ali. I do not see any need for improvement. The picture goes great with this chapter.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from judiverse
I'm glad you have some internet at least. Cordero is rather touchy. It'll be hard for Alexandra to tell which way he's going to blow. He did seem to make an issue of Pat joining Alex for lunch uninvited, but they had been long-time rivals. Pretty nervy of Pat to show up at the house. He sounds used to getting his own way and could be a trouble-maker. The dogs are adorable, and they add to the story. Excellent story development and chacterization. We know what to be looking forward to as the story develops. judi
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
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I'm glad you have some internet at least. Cordero is rather touchy. It'll be hard for Alexandra to tell which way he's going to blow. He did seem to make an issue of Pat joining Alex for lunch uninvited, but they had been long-time rivals. Pretty nervy of Pat to show up at the house. He sounds used to getting his own way and could be a trouble-maker. The dogs are adorable, and they add to the story. Excellent story development and chacterization. We know what to be looking forward to as the story develops. judi
Comment Written 12-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
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Thank you for rhe kind review.
Comment from Shirley McLain
If this were tomorrow, I would give you a six, but I don't have any. You did a great job as usual, and I like the rivalry between the two guys over Ali. Have a blessed evening and week. Enjoy your vacation. Shirley
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
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If this were tomorrow, I would give you a six, but I don't have any. You did a great job as usual, and I like the rivalry between the two guys over Ali. Have a blessed evening and week. Enjoy your vacation. Shirley
Comment Written 12-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from royowen
So, a rival has come along for Cordero, but Alexandra is having none of it, there's quite obviously some resentment as far as Cord and Pat's concerned, but I think maybe there's a racial thing going on too. It's such a pity that some think they're superior to others. Beautifully written, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
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So, a rival has come along for Cordero, but Alexandra is having none of it, there's quite obviously some resentment as far as Cord and Pat's concerned, but I think maybe there's a racial thing going on too. It's such a pity that some think they're superior to others. Beautifully written, blessings Roy
Comment Written 12-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
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The rival between Cord and Pat is even bigger. We'll discover it much later. Thank you for the kind review.
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Wow!
Comment from BethShelby
This is a really interesting story. A little rivalry and Jealously mixed with some racial prejudice makes good reading material. We also have a romance and thievery in it as well. Mixed with a city lawyer and a handsome country cowboy; what more you want.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
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This is a really interesting story. A little rivalry and Jealously mixed with some racial prejudice makes good reading material. We also have a romance and thievery in it as well. Mixed with a city lawyer and a handsome country cowboy; what more you want.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.