Reviews from

Football - A Novel

Viewing comments for Chapter 44 "Football Chapter 22 part2"
A mother faces life's struggles.

27 total reviews 
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Lovely story, great continuation. This time I did notice a couple of typos. "The Rileys came into some money" (no apostrophe as Rileys is plural, not possessive).
"Mum wouldn't ask unless ...." (no comma needed after "Mum")
"Once back a home": just "once back home" OR "once back at home".
Hope these are helpful. Still enjoying your story.

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 19-Jul-2021
    Thank you for the catches. I honestly did reread a lot and missed them. I appreciate the help.
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Excellent
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barbara:

My granddaughter is 12 1/2 and has been "talking" to this really nice young guy, Peyton, for about a year now. I don't think any of us are ready to start this whole dating scene again - especially her dad who coaches football at her school. I'm not surprised this whole issue with Katherine's in-laws is over money. Money is the root of all evil, right? No, greed is the root of all evil! One small editorial comment for you below:
Once back a home >>> Once back at home
jan

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 19-Jul-2021
    I have made that correction. I only had boys, but I have had fun waiting my boys react to their daughters dating. Thank you for the help.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
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Well, they are so torn between being themselves that they keep pushing each other away. But maybe that's the right thing to do, since once they make the big move, the stakes get higher. LOL. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 19-Jul-2021
    Oh so true. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from nomi338
Excellent
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I am not surprised, I have a step grandson who calls me grandpa and I love it. There is nothing wrong in a young one calling you grandpa unless you do not accept the responsibility that goes along with the privilege. Yung kids want the security of being able to call an older adult Grandpa, or grandma, when they do not have one they like.

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 19-Jul-2021
    Thank you for understanding.
Comment from Jay Squires
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Katherine really is skittery, isn't she? Gabriel keeps proving himself, even is convincing about his former flame's kissing him, but she's still holding back. I'm not second-guessing you, though. You know exactly what you're doing.

No spag, but a couple of questions as I read:

I used part of it to buy the house and put the rest, again, in safe mutual funds. I digressed. [When you say, "I digressed", when do you mean? Right now, in which it should be "I digress"? Or did she mean she had digressed earlier? I don't recall her digressing to Gabriel or his mother. So, I'm a tad confused.]

It's beautiful out here. It's really nice of your parents to invite them." [Out here? They're home by then, looking at the stars. Does she mean "out THERE? At Gabriel's folks' house?]


 Comment Written 18-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 19-Jul-2021
    I have fixed both areas. Thank you for the catches. Katherine will get with the program. George really did a number on her. More will be slowly coming out.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Barb
you are doing wonders with the way you are writing your story about Katherine and her four boys.
I like how Gabriel sat on the back patio. He took Katherine's hand. and "I have a feeling all of this is over money.

Barb
As I was reading, I noticed that there was a concern about money ?
Gert

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 18-Jul-2021
    Yes, a lot of concern over money. Thank you for the kind review.
reply by Gert sherwood on 18-Jul-2021
    You are welcome Barb
    Gert
Comment from Begin Again
Excellent
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Well done, Barbara....Though I think Katherine drags her feet too much when it comes to moving forward With Gabriel...Dating and holding hands isn't the end of the world or anything risque.

I am thrilled to see Gabriel's parents are the kind of grandpa and grandma every child wishes to have....It's a shame that George's parents appear to be all about money. Takes all kinds in this world...their loss.

Smiles, Carol

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 18-Jul-2021
    As we get to know more about Katherine we'll see about why she acts the way she acts. Matter-of-fact, Gabriel dropped the hand holding when Jordan walked in, not Katherine.
Comment from Sankey
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This was a lovely, curious chapter. It is good knowing more of Katherine's husbands family a bit more and about money matters. One spag. Once back a(t) home, Katherine and Gabriel

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 19-Jul-2021
    I have made the correction. Thank you for the support.
Comment from amahra
Excellent
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I can't believe Katherine is not sure how soon she wants her and Gabriel's relationship to blossom. Barbara, you seem to be letting their true feelings for each other hide in plain view of people's suspension which makes for very good drama.

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 18-Jul-2021
    Well, find out soon enough what is behind all of this behavior. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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The relationship is progressing nicely but slowly, for both Jeremy and Gabriel, and I suspect that Gabe's parents won't mind becoming foster grandparents either. So George's parents aren't exactly nice people either. Beautifully written again Barbara, you're a wonder. Blessings Roy

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 18-Jul-2021
    Thank you for the encouragement.
reply by royowen on 18-Jul-2021
    Most welcome Barbara