A Fly on the Wall
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "On...Cheating"A journal musings and assessments about situations
30 total reviews
Comment from Annmuma
Well-written and full of helpful hints. Your reaction to the 5 year old cheating was interesting to me. At 5, I am not sure I would have even recognized it as cheating -- it was, of course, but my reaction would probably have been, " Miss Fisher, Patty used your eraser. I thought we weren't supposed to 'erase'." At 5, I had not yet established a filter! Just said whatever was on mind. Maybe that is one of the reasons my friend list in the first few grades of school was very short! lol. Well written story and I admire the courage of someone who stood up cheating at a most vulnerable moment in their life. ann
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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Well-written and full of helpful hints. Your reaction to the 5 year old cheating was interesting to me. At 5, I am not sure I would have even recognized it as cheating -- it was, of course, but my reaction would probably have been, " Miss Fisher, Patty used your eraser. I thought we weren't supposed to 'erase'." At 5, I had not yet established a filter! Just said whatever was on mind. Maybe that is one of the reasons my friend list in the first few grades of school was very short! lol. Well written story and I admire the courage of someone who stood up cheating at a most vulnerable moment in their life. ann
Comment Written 05-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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Thanks, Ann. I think hearing my teenage siblings' voices in my head about no one liking a tattletale was all that kept me silent!
And thanks for your kind words about my actions when I had to dig down really deep to find my ferocity. I think my husband was banking on my not having The Right Stuff. He obviously forgot whose daughter I was. Xoxoxo
Comment from Write Right Writer
Rachelle...
So sorry for the belated review. I read this the night you posted it. This is such a great essay on cheating; stories of various types of cheating at various ages eliciting various responses from various types of people.
Your storytelling prowess, descriptive powers, and ability to insert personal commentary without interrupting flow, served this progressive medley of personal vignettes well.
Your topic is timely and apropos, with a universal message that inspires and challenges all of us to assess our stance on cheating and adjust our response to cheaters in all areas of life.
Thank you for giving us something so very important to consider in such an engaging and compelling essay. And kudos to you for your feisty and fearless way of dealing with southern-drawl Cindy and your cheating ex-boss and dentist. Your gumption is an example for all women (and men) in similar situations.
Impressive work, Rachelle. Kudos to you for this outstanding read!
Curt (WRW)
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2023
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Rachelle...
So sorry for the belated review. I read this the night you posted it. This is such a great essay on cheating; stories of various types of cheating at various ages eliciting various responses from various types of people.
Your storytelling prowess, descriptive powers, and ability to insert personal commentary without interrupting flow, served this progressive medley of personal vignettes well.
Your topic is timely and apropos, with a universal message that inspires and challenges all of us to assess our stance on cheating and adjust our response to cheaters in all areas of life.
Thank you for giving us something so very important to consider in such an engaging and compelling essay. And kudos to you for your feisty and fearless way of dealing with southern-drawl Cindy and your cheating ex-boss and dentist. Your gumption is an example for all women (and men) in similar situations.
Impressive work, Rachelle. Kudos to you for this outstanding read!
Curt (WRW)
Comment Written 16-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2023
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Thanks very much, Writerightwriter!
Comment from Michele Harber
You certainly have a better memory than I do. I have no idea the first time I observed cheating, i.e., on a test. I do, unfortunately, recall every time someone cheated on a friend and, sadly, the list is way too long.
I established with my husband, from day one, that there would be no coming back from either infidelity or abuse. Thank goodness I needn't have worried.
You do a good job of detailing your examples of cheating, as always using no unnecessary words, and throwing in your sister's "Nobody likes a tattletale" a couple of times worked well as counterpoint to your knowing that what you were observing was wrong, and wanting to reveal it.
Sorry you had the personal example to include at the end, but you did the only thing a person with pride, self-respect and self-confidence could do.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2023
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You certainly have a better memory than I do. I have no idea the first time I observed cheating, i.e., on a test. I do, unfortunately, recall every time someone cheated on a friend and, sadly, the list is way too long.
I established with my husband, from day one, that there would be no coming back from either infidelity or abuse. Thank goodness I needn't have worried.
You do a good job of detailing your examples of cheating, as always using no unnecessary words, and throwing in your sister's "Nobody likes a tattletale" a couple of times worked well as counterpoint to your knowing that what you were observing was wrong, and wanting to reveal it.
Sorry you had the personal example to include at the end, but you did the only thing a person with pride, self-respect and self-confidence could do.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2023
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I appreciate every part of this review. Thank you, Michele. And I'm so glad your husband is the kind of person who didn't need The Talk about cheating and/or abuse.
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So am I!!!!!
Comment from Tpa
An excellent story. Your last paragraph summed it up. So many people have difficulty facing the truth, denying reality. Good writing from all aspects from youth to adult. I enjoy all your writings.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
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An excellent story. Your last paragraph summed it up. So many people have difficulty facing the truth, denying reality. Good writing from all aspects from youth to adult. I enjoy all your writings.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
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That means a lot to me. Thank you, Tpa!
Comment from Susan Newell
Dang Rachelle,
I have no sixes. You did an exceptionally good job of writing this, perfectly showing us each scene. You have an excellent memory. Sometimes people just don't want to know, believing that "ignorance is bliss." But in my experience, there are always negative repercussions that could have been avoided if one had been willing to accept the truth. Perhaps it is something that has to be learned by most. My proofing notes follow. Mostly missing paragraph breaks.
Sue
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
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Dang Rachelle,
I have no sixes. You did an exceptionally good job of writing this, perfectly showing us each scene. You have an excellent memory. Sometimes people just don't want to know, believing that "ignorance is bliss." But in my experience, there are always negative repercussions that could have been avoided if one had been willing to accept the truth. Perhaps it is something that has to be learned by most. My proofing notes follow. Mostly missing paragraph breaks.
Sue
Comment Written 12-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
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Thanks very much, Susan. I appreciate this from a woman I consider a voice of reason.
I'll check the paragraphs breaks. I swear the editing feature is not working. I have gone in and SOO many times now changed things, hit "Saved," then check and see nothing changed after all. So. Freakin. Maddening.
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Yes, the software sucks. I can't get to the image upload page from my iPad and I can't get line and paragraph breaks right for poetry. This chapter is very timely. :-)
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I just went in again. I did see what you were talking about and THINK I have them corrected (again.)
Yes, timely, indeed.
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I hope it worked for you. I knew they weren't "errors."
Comment from GWHARGIS
I swear I never saw this. Or your name never came up. I got in trouble once because a girl asked me to give her the answers. I went and told the teacher. Guess who got in trouble? Me. For telling lies. I think trust is probably one of the most important things in any relationship. I love how you wove the first and second examples together with your sisters warning. Brilliant. Loved this. Waiting on more. Gretchen
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
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I swear I never saw this. Or your name never came up. I got in trouble once because a girl asked me to give her the answers. I went and told the teacher. Guess who got in trouble? Me. For telling lies. I think trust is probably one of the most important things in any relationship. I love how you wove the first and second examples together with your sisters warning. Brilliant. Loved this. Waiting on more. Gretchen
Comment Written 11-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
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Oh, you greedy, greedy wench!!
It's a good thing you write such good reviews. xo
Comment from LJbutterfly
I believe it would be traumatizing for a first-grader to see another child cheating on their school work. Most would think a child that young would not know how to cheat. As you witnessed, that is wrong.
I once taught a pre-school class and saw a 3 year old steal from another child's lunch and lie by saying the item was in HIS lunch. If a 3 year old can lie, a sixth grader can cheat.
Your expose on cheaters and how one might react to them delivers a powerful message. In the end, if you accept cheating from a partner, it demonstrates your lack of respect for yourself. I've enjoyed reading your well written thoughts.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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I believe it would be traumatizing for a first-grader to see another child cheating on their school work. Most would think a child that young would not know how to cheat. As you witnessed, that is wrong.
I once taught a pre-school class and saw a 3 year old steal from another child's lunch and lie by saying the item was in HIS lunch. If a 3 year old can lie, a sixth grader can cheat.
Your expose on cheaters and how one might react to them delivers a powerful message. In the end, if you accept cheating from a partner, it demonstrates your lack of respect for yourself. I've enjoyed reading your well written thoughts.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Thanks very much. I think if you allow any kind of cheating to go on in your life, it demonstrates a lack of respect for yourself. It's amazing how many people, though, don't want to "rock the boat" and call cheaters out. They say things like "Why are you trying to ruin things for other?" As if the person calling out the offense is the one at fault. Fascinating
Anyway, I really appreciate this terrific, validating review. Xo
Comment from rama devi
Hello dear friend!
It's always fun to read your writing. I love your sense of humor as well as the way you bring characters and scenes to life.
These lines made me smile or chuckle:
Only Patty Stell and I knew of the heresy being committed in the back of the classroom.
I felt like a co-conspirator criminal, but I trusted my sister and kept quiet...well, you know, until now.
AND
"Well, Cindy, I take solace in the fact that, at least with me, it's temporary. You'll be huge all your life."
*Spacing typo here:
Our teacher, Mrs .Fuller,
Our teacher, Mrs. Fuller,
*Suggest adding commas here:
I can't for the life of me understand
I can't, for the life of me, understand
* Sorry this happened to you:
My father --my mentor and idol-- was 2800 miles away in Reno, Nevada, dying of inoperable lung cancer.
Suggest writing out the number 2800:
two thousand eight hundred miles
I hope to have time to review a bit more here. I've been mostly absent for ages. Currently, my mom and I are still recovering from losing house and possessions in hurricane IAN and being homeless, moving from place to place. But now we're settled in a FEMA-paid-for hotel until end of March, so we're less unsettled.
Big hugs,
rd
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Hello dear friend!
It's always fun to read your writing. I love your sense of humor as well as the way you bring characters and scenes to life.
These lines made me smile or chuckle:
Only Patty Stell and I knew of the heresy being committed in the back of the classroom.
I felt like a co-conspirator criminal, but I trusted my sister and kept quiet...well, you know, until now.
AND
"Well, Cindy, I take solace in the fact that, at least with me, it's temporary. You'll be huge all your life."
*Spacing typo here:
Our teacher, Mrs .Fuller,
Our teacher, Mrs. Fuller,
*Suggest adding commas here:
I can't for the life of me understand
I can't, for the life of me, understand
* Sorry this happened to you:
My father --my mentor and idol-- was 2800 miles away in Reno, Nevada, dying of inoperable lung cancer.
Suggest writing out the number 2800:
two thousand eight hundred miles
I hope to have time to review a bit more here. I've been mostly absent for ages. Currently, my mom and I are still recovering from losing house and possessions in hurricane IAN and being homeless, moving from place to place. But now we're settled in a FEMA-paid-for hotel until end of March, so we're less unsettled.
Big hugs,
rd
Comment Written 10-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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OH MY GOODNESS!!! RAMA!! That's so awful! I'm really REALLY sorry to read this! Yikes!
Thank you for having taken the time and bestowed your talents on my piece. So appreciated. xoxo
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Thanks, dear. We're trying to keep a sense of humor. Ian really hit us hard but we're hanging in there.
xxoo
Hugs!
rd
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PS - I appreciate you too!
Comment from Marienkiefer
It-s the categorical imperative. Being right is an obligation requiring a certain action.
Standout in this story:
-observations and practical reasoning
-choosing between what is right and what is good to help someone or helping oneself
-moral reasoning, sound judgement, decisive action
-what makes this writing accessible is it-s universality, raises questions of rationality and impulse, freedom of choice, free will and responsibility of: what ought I to do?
-Rich personal examples and experiences reassures readers that author is empathetic
For all of these reasons and for the themes addressed, this is powerful storytelling and personable and purposeful writing.
Excellent!
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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It-s the categorical imperative. Being right is an obligation requiring a certain action.
Standout in this story:
-observations and practical reasoning
-choosing between what is right and what is good to help someone or helping oneself
-moral reasoning, sound judgement, decisive action
-what makes this writing accessible is it-s universality, raises questions of rationality and impulse, freedom of choice, free will and responsibility of: what ought I to do?
-Rich personal examples and experiences reassures readers that author is empathetic
For all of these reasons and for the themes addressed, this is powerful storytelling and personable and purposeful writing.
Excellent!
Comment Written 10-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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I always love your reviews because they are so thorough and HELPFUL, as well as generous and encouraging. Thank you for another trademark great one that I wholeheartedly appreciate. Ditto for the extra star. xoxo
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You are very welcome, Rachelle.
Marienkiefer 🌸
Comment from susand3022
Thank you, Rachelle!!!
Not only for telling people not to give themselves up to playing second fiddle, but also for having the guts to tell that SOB where to get off when you were obviously in such a vulnerable position yourself! I am, however, sooo glad you dished it out to that B! The audacity of her! It's bad enough to have an affair with your married boss, but to do it with his pregnant wife in the office? That's some serious BS... she deserved to cry. I hope she remembers that remark. I hope she remembers that it came from the pregnant wife of the man she was cheating with. I hope she still feels guilty, because she should. We should be better than that to each other. As women, we should do better.
A real life's lesson, for anyone who cares to learn. Cheating is never good... whether you get away with it or not.
Susan :)
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Thank you, Rachelle!!!
Not only for telling people not to give themselves up to playing second fiddle, but also for having the guts to tell that SOB where to get off when you were obviously in such a vulnerable position yourself! I am, however, sooo glad you dished it out to that B! The audacity of her! It's bad enough to have an affair with your married boss, but to do it with his pregnant wife in the office? That's some serious BS... she deserved to cry. I hope she remembers that remark. I hope she remembers that it came from the pregnant wife of the man she was cheating with. I hope she still feels guilty, because she should. We should be better than that to each other. As women, we should do better.
A real life's lesson, for anyone who cares to learn. Cheating is never good... whether you get away with it or not.
Susan :)
Comment Written 09-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Thank you for this very validating review. I appreciate how deeply you "get" it.
The good news is that she died about twelve years ago...from COPD, no less, so a long, torturous process. [Awwwww...] And that means that my ex (who, incidentally, never married her) has been alone in his "Golden years," while I'm alive, healthy, and happily married to a man who's handsome and fun and good to me every day. Karma's a bitch.
Xoxo