Quiet Lawyer
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Quiet Lawyer Chapter 10 B"Can a broken heart be mended?
29 total reviews
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
That one seemed to stop as soon as I started to read. I just speb right through it. You write these chapter plays so well. I can't do the sustained novella and novel stuff. But I have been writing some two and three parters. Getting the hang out of cutting chapters. Love your stuff Karen. No need to answer all these reviews. Jsut answer one when I'm done here for the day. Karen
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2024
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That one seemed to stop as soon as I started to read. I just speb right through it. You write these chapter plays so well. I can't do the sustained novella and novel stuff. But I have been writing some two and three parters. Getting the hang out of cutting chapters. Love your stuff Karen. No need to answer all these reviews. Jsut answer one when I'm done here for the day. Karen
Comment Written 02-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2024
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I want to let you know I appreciate the time you took to read.
Comment from Begin Again
Splendid action of course and loving that Jorge understood more about women than his son. Great job! On to the next chapter!! Hurrah!
Smiles and hugs, Carol
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2022
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Splendid action of course and loving that Jorge understood more about women than his son. Great job! On to the next chapter!! Hurrah!
Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment Written 27-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2022
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Thank you for the wonderful review.
Comment from J. P. Olesen
Hi, Barbara,
I think I mentioned to you earlier that I had skimmed this, so I hope you don't mind me following up with a review. I'm just now finding a few moments to do so.
Excellent chapter! As far as I can see, it's flawlessly written except for the second sentence of your last paragraph, although I may be wrong about that. I frequently am. Should there be the word "is" follow "women" ? Or maybe, the sentence just needs to begin with "From." Or maybe, I'm simply losing it. Been a bad day.
Best wishes,
J. P.
reply by the author on 09-May-2022
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Hi, Barbara,
I think I mentioned to you earlier that I had skimmed this, so I hope you don't mind me following up with a review. I'm just now finding a few moments to do so.
Excellent chapter! As far as I can see, it's flawlessly written except for the second sentence of your last paragraph, although I may be wrong about that. I frequently am. Should there be the word "is" follow "women" ? Or maybe, the sentence just needs to begin with "From." Or maybe, I'm simply losing it. Been a bad day.
Best wishes,
J. P.
Comment Written 08-May-2022
reply by the author on 09-May-2022
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I have reread it three times. I can see where possibly an 'is' could be there, but I don't think it needs to be there. I will reread it more and see which way seems more natural. Thank you for the kind review.
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No. You?re probably right.
People don?t talk like an English textbook, and I realized later that the person speaking is probably doing so in a bit of a choppy manner?like most of us. Forget I mentioned anything.
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English is not Jorge first language either.
(drat! I keep forgetting NOT to reply on my iPhone)
I'm not sure English is my first language, either . . . .
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LOL I am pretty sure it's not mine, either. I spent too much time with first graders. At the school I taught at Spanish or Ebonics was the main languages. LOL I guess English came in third.
Comment from amahra
This was a good chapter, Barbara. I loved the hero horse that saved Alexandra from the snake. Just one thing below:
Jim used a stick and lifted a dead diamondback rattle snake. [rattlesnake,is one word.]
reply by the author on 05-May-2022
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This was a good chapter, Barbara. I loved the hero horse that saved Alexandra from the snake. Just one thing below:
Jim used a stick and lifted a dead diamondback rattle snake. [rattlesnake,is one word.]
Comment Written 05-May-2022
reply by the author on 05-May-2022
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It sure it. Thank you for the catch. I appreciate the help.
Comment from Annmuma
Good chapter with lots of 'action' in that the reader is involved from the beginning. The characters continue to develop and become more real in every situation. Good writing. ann
reply by the author on 05-May-2022
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Good chapter with lots of 'action' in that the reader is involved from the beginning. The characters continue to develop and become more real in every situation. Good writing. ann
Comment Written 05-May-2022
reply by the author on 05-May-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Poignant enough to paint on canvas. The horse, the snake the Boss. Best of luck with the book. May you find sufficient readers who are willing to leave their PDI's and remember how to turn a page.
reply by the author on 05-May-2022
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Poignant enough to paint on canvas. The horse, the snake the Boss. Best of luck with the book. May you find sufficient readers who are willing to leave their PDI's and remember how to turn a page.
Comment Written 05-May-2022
reply by the author on 05-May-2022
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from R. Marc Goodson
You are a genius with dialogue I find myself struggling with it. The piece is a good one and no doubt will fit well into your next publication. The only thing I found in it was a spacing issue: "Alexandra walked toward the laundry room. "I'll get it. Who do they belong to?"
"They're yours." I look forward to reading more of your work.
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
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You are a genius with dialogue I find myself struggling with it. The piece is a good one and no doubt will fit well into your next publication. The only thing I found in it was a spacing issue: "Alexandra walked toward the laundry room. "I'll get it. Who do they belong to?"
"They're yours." I look forward to reading more of your work.
Comment Written 03-May-2022
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
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I will check that area out. Thank you for the catch.
Comment from Commissioner Flanagan
The characterization is so realistic and brings the characters to life. The reader feels like they are in the house and a participant in the family. The author's selection of words lends authenticity to the simple environment of rural life and stimulates the curiosity of the reader pertaining to the "problem" without disclosing the issue.
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
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The characterization is so realistic and brings the characters to life. The reader feels like they are in the house and a participant in the family. The author's selection of words lends authenticity to the simple environment of rural life and stimulates the curiosity of the reader pertaining to the "problem" without disclosing the issue.
Comment Written 03-May-2022
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
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Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from estory
Stylistically, this really reminded me of your other novel Football. You have the same command of the dialogue that reveals the characters and the personalities and the emotional entanglements, and even though I walked in on the middle of this, it reads pretty interesting. Sorry if I don't have so much time to review nowadays, with my dad needing so much help. But I have to say I think I will put this one on my watch list. estory
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
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Stylistically, this really reminded me of your other novel Football. You have the same command of the dialogue that reveals the characters and the personalities and the emotional entanglements, and even though I walked in on the middle of this, it reads pretty interesting. Sorry if I don't have so much time to review nowadays, with my dad needing so much help. But I have to say I think I will put this one on my watch list. estory
Comment Written 03-May-2022
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
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Thank you for dropping by. I will pray for your dad.
Comment from John Ciarmello
Another great chapter. Yes, Cordero better get in there and apologize. I'm hoping someone comes forward to get pat put away. You've portrayed him so well as a slim ball. Great read, Barbera. Best, John C.
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
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Another great chapter. Yes, Cordero better get in there and apologize. I'm hoping someone comes forward to get pat put away. You've portrayed him so well as a slim ball. Great read, Barbera. Best, John C.
Comment Written 02-May-2022
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.