Dysfunctional Marriage
Work your words or cut them loose35 total reviews
Comment from Father Flaps
Good Evening, Liz
"The book details Jim's awe at all he observes and experiences as he acclimates to the world that has (gone on) without him." ... (can I make a very unnecessary suggestion?
The book details Jim's awe at all he observes and experiences as he acclimates to the world that has sped along without him.
"We writers must remember we're not wedded to our words." ...That's a great line. But there are a few writers in the halls of Fanstoria who are wedded to their words.
I've never had the experience of a writing group. It would be nice. But I guess you could call Fanstory a writing group, couldn't you? A special place!
And speaking of editing, did you see the episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond", where he is giving his Best Man speech at Robert & Amy's wedding reception? He talks about fixing the wedding ceremony and reception by editing out all the bad parts... like their mother, Marie Barone, standing up during the ceremony to make sure Robert is getting married for LOVE and no other reason. It was hilarious. I think we can all use some editing in our lives.
Nicely penned!
Hugs,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2021
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Good Evening, Liz
"The book details Jim's awe at all he observes and experiences as he acclimates to the world that has (gone on) without him." ... (can I make a very unnecessary suggestion?
The book details Jim's awe at all he observes and experiences as he acclimates to the world that has sped along without him.
"We writers must remember we're not wedded to our words." ...That's a great line. But there are a few writers in the halls of Fanstoria who are wedded to their words.
I've never had the experience of a writing group. It would be nice. But I guess you could call Fanstory a writing group, couldn't you? A special place!
And speaking of editing, did you see the episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond", where he is giving his Best Man speech at Robert & Amy's wedding reception? He talks about fixing the wedding ceremony and reception by editing out all the bad parts... like their mother, Marie Barone, standing up during the ceremony to make sure Robert is getting married for LOVE and no other reason. It was hilarious. I think we can all use some editing in our lives.
Nicely penned!
Hugs,
Kimbob
Comment Written 09-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2021
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Thanks--I took your suggestion!
Check out Karenina's stupendous review--I'm not referring to the stars but to her brilliant segue to the theme!
Comment from Soledadpaz
Some of us are held captive 40 years in marriage. But at least, hopefully, not cut off from what's happening in the world. Too bad we can't edit that.
That's good that Len took the constructive criticism well and responded to it. Sometimes we do have to cut our darlings loose.
Love the touch of the red pencil. A sometimes merciless tool.
Sol
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2021
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Some of us are held captive 40 years in marriage. But at least, hopefully, not cut off from what's happening in the world. Too bad we can't edit that.
That's good that Len took the constructive criticism well and responded to it. Sometimes we do have to cut our darlings loose.
Love the touch of the red pencil. A sometimes merciless tool.
Sol
Comment Written 09-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2021
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Check out Karenina's stupendous review--I'm not referring to the stars but to her brilliant segue to the theme!
Thanks for stopping by--I read your sssssstupendous piece yesterday!
Comment from Cogitator
Another anecdote of much import. I know we all go through the rigorous choices of language we struggle with. Perfection is illusive because it is a moving target. Any number of writers can aim at the same result and choose a different way to reach it...John
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2021
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Another anecdote of much import. I know we all go through the rigorous choices of language we struggle with. Perfection is illusive because it is a moving target. Any number of writers can aim at the same result and choose a different way to reach it...John
Comment Written 09-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2021
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Check out Karenina's stupendous review--I'm not referring to the stars but to her brilliant segue to the theme! She's a wonderful person to boot--she always boosts fellow writers--the only person she criticizes is herself!
Comment from LJbutterfly
During my career I was a technical writer and after retirement, and without experience, joined a creative writing group. I learned to chop off most of what I wrote and to not use the same word 3 times in the same paragraph. I'm glad I joined them before I joined FanStory. I admire your style and ability to succinctly state your thoughts. I've actually studied how you do it. Thanks for the lessons. When I write, I'm not reluctant to pick up the red pencil and edit so my reviewers have less to mark up. I appreciate your posts.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2021
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During my career I was a technical writer and after retirement, and without experience, joined a creative writing group. I learned to chop off most of what I wrote and to not use the same word 3 times in the same paragraph. I'm glad I joined them before I joined FanStory. I admire your style and ability to succinctly state your thoughts. I've actually studied how you do it. Thanks for the lessons. When I write, I'm not reluctant to pick up the red pencil and edit so my reviewers have less to mark up. I appreciate your posts.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2021
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Thanks for that!
Check out Karenina's stupendous review--I'm not referring to the stars but to her brilliant segue to the theme! She's a wonderful person to boot--she always boosts fellow writers--the only person she criticizes is herself!
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
You are so perceptive, regarding your readers. I was in the first category, but fell just short of the second.
And I now pronounce you, Writer and Manuscript. You may kiss the keyboard -- yuck! Germ City, lol. The screen? Same story.
Kiss the printout instead, it will be virtually pristine. But please don't be too sloppy about it ... you'll have to print it again.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2021
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You are so perceptive, regarding your readers. I was in the first category, but fell just short of the second.
And I now pronounce you, Writer and Manuscript. You may kiss the keyboard -- yuck! Germ City, lol. The screen? Same story.
Kiss the printout instead, it will be virtually pristine. But please don't be too sloppy about it ... you'll have to print it again.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2021
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You are so witty--post that!
Check out Karenina's stupendous review--I'm not referring to the stars but to her brilliant segue to the theme! She's a wonderful person to boot--she always boosts fellow writers--the only person she criticizes is herself!
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Thank you so much, Liz, my friend, and yes, Karenina's review was definitely worth reading! She's got a classy wit!
Love and blessings, Mary Kay xoxo
Comment from Cecilia Lynne1
You are a very skilfully and gifted writer. Your approach and thinking unique style for me is "Out of the Box"! I love when I can find work that is filled at times with suspense and not what you anticipate. You are compelled by the artist to investigate by reading the entire presentation you are mesmerized by plan and plot to find out what really is the outcome, action, or resolution.
The Title: "Dysfunctional Marriage." Grabbed my attention.
Your request for misleading forgiveness opened up the door of curiosity. I want to know more and where you were going.
You've got me and now have my buy-in.
So I read the entire story embracing Jim's response through your sharing.
With empathy, revelation, compassion, and acceptance. Yes! so often we can find ourselves engaged or married to dysfunctional, life adventures other than a human being. Well done!
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2021
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You are a very skilfully and gifted writer. Your approach and thinking unique style for me is "Out of the Box"! I love when I can find work that is filled at times with suspense and not what you anticipate. You are compelled by the artist to investigate by reading the entire presentation you are mesmerized by plan and plot to find out what really is the outcome, action, or resolution.
The Title: "Dysfunctional Marriage." Grabbed my attention.
Your request for misleading forgiveness opened up the door of curiosity. I want to know more and where you were going.
You've got me and now have my buy-in.
So I read the entire story embracing Jim's response through your sharing.
With empathy, revelation, compassion, and acceptance. Yes! so often we can find ourselves engaged or married to dysfunctional, life adventures other than a human being. Well done!
Comment Written 08-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2021
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I am honored! Thankssssss!
Check out Karenina's stupendous review--I'm not referring to the stars but to her brilliant segue to the theme!
Stop by anytime, Cecilia. Cheers. LIZ
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Thank you. I will continue to follow.
I will check out Karenina's story.
Blessings.
Comment from Sherry Asbury
No wonder I adore you! This was just the thing I needed to hear. I try to write stories and get a bit long-winded, but each word is my baby and how do I rid the page of them...
This write was not at all what I expected, but I would read anything you write...your grocery list notwithstanding...
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2021
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No wonder I adore you! This was just the thing I needed to hear. I try to write stories and get a bit long-winded, but each word is my baby and how do I rid the page of them...
This write was not at all what I expected, but I would read anything you write...your grocery list notwithstanding...
Comment Written 08-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2021
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Check out Karenina's stupendous review--I'm not referring to the stars but to her brilliant segue to the theme! She's a wonderful person to boot--she always boosts fellow writers--the only person she criticizes is herself!
Thanks for that!
Check out Karenina's stupendous review--I'm not referring to the stars but to her brilliant segue to the theme! She's a wonderful person to boot--she always boosts fellow writers--the only person she criticizes is herself!
Comment from Teri7
This is a very well written short story about Len and Jim. You used great descriptive words. I have never been to a class about writing. I know I maybe should have, but I write from my heart to paper. I love the art work you chose. The red pencil of course. Thank you for sharing! love and blessing, Teri
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2021
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This is a very well written short story about Len and Jim. You used great descriptive words. I have never been to a class about writing. I know I maybe should have, but I write from my heart to paper. I love the art work you chose. The red pencil of course. Thank you for sharing! love and blessing, Teri
Comment Written 08-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2021
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Check out Karenina's stupendous review--I'm not referring to the stars but to her brilliant segue to the theme! She's a wonderful person to boot--she always boosts fellow writers--the only person she criticizes is herself!
Comment from Sally Law
Thanks so much for sharing this. This is an interesting concept. At this point, I feel wedded to my words, since my writing is an extension of my soul. Soul meaning the mind, will, and emotions. I also feel responsible. I wrote the thing; either a novel, short story, or poem; no one else. My writing has grown with me, and hopefully reflects maturity. I have learned to write here on FanStory, and I am very grateful for it all, albeit flawed.
Sending you my best today as always, and blessings for your day,
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2021
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Thanks so much for sharing this. This is an interesting concept. At this point, I feel wedded to my words, since my writing is an extension of my soul. Soul meaning the mind, will, and emotions. I also feel responsible. I wrote the thing; either a novel, short story, or poem; no one else. My writing has grown with me, and hopefully reflects maturity. I have learned to write here on FanStory, and I am very grateful for it all, albeit flawed.
Sending you my best today as always, and blessings for your day,
Sal XOs
Comment Written 08-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2021
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Check out Karenina's stupendous review--I'm not referring to the stars but to her brilliant segue to the theme! She's a wonderful person to boot--she always boosts fellow writers--the only person she criticizes is herself!
Comment from aryr
The picture was perfect for the process of editing, Elizabeth. I happen to know that red is a strong color, with green and blue. This was a great article, very well written and enjoyed. I hope you don't mind that I will be friending you because I do enjoy your writing, I was suggested by a fellow fanstorian.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2021
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The picture was perfect for the process of editing, Elizabeth. I happen to know that red is a strong color, with green and blue. This was a great article, very well written and enjoyed. I hope you don't mind that I will be friending you because I do enjoy your writing, I was suggested by a fellow fanstorian.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2021
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Thanks for that!
Check out Karenina's stupendous review--I'm not referring to the stars but to her brilliant segue to the theme! She's a wonderful person to boot--she always boosts fellow writers--the only person she criticizes is herself!
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You are so welcome, Elizabeth.