A Change in Plans
One moment in time can change everything -13 total reviews
Comment from JLR
Begin Again, there is little to be left to wonder why you are in the top ten of ranked authors! Your narrative is fluid, chockful of great descriptive words and ending with the greatest gift on can be given ... HOPE.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
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Begin Again, there is little to be left to wonder why you are in the top ten of ranked authors! Your narrative is fluid, chockful of great descriptive words and ending with the greatest gift on can be given ... HOPE.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
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What a wonderful way to start my morning blessed by your kind and generous words and a few stars too. I am so pleased that you enjoyed my story. Hope is something we all need! Smiles to you!
Thank you for entering the contest - I wish you the best of luck as well.
Comment from T.E. Loper
I love the layers developed here in such a limited space: the parents perhaps sacrificing their own lives to save their child; you rescuing the child; God/providence/fate/luck (take your pick) rescuing you from yourself.
Thanks for this contest--it was challenging and fun.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2021
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I love the layers developed here in such a limited space: the parents perhaps sacrificing their own lives to save their child; you rescuing the child; God/providence/fate/luck (take your pick) rescuing you from yourself.
Thanks for this contest--it was challenging and fun.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much for reading and the kind review. Appreciate it very much. Have a great day!
Comment from Iza Deleanu
The signs of this majestic rescue where right there: "Tess climbed the jagged rocks, stopping to admire God's creative hand. A dove flew overhead before settling on a rock." The dove was a sign for Noah that there is land:) and for you was a sign that a child was waiting to be rescued. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2021
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The signs of this majestic rescue where right there: "Tess climbed the jagged rocks, stopping to admire God's creative hand. A dove flew overhead before settling on a rock." The dove was a sign for Noah that there is land:) and for you was a sign that a child was waiting to be rescued. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much. Iza. I believe you are the only one who picked up on the dove. I appreciated your time and your review. Smiles!
Comment from Jimmy Hogg
- Grammar- "It was, also, the day she'd chosen to die." Take all the commas out of this.
- "Protectively, she drew the child to her chest" You don't need to say protectively, we know that.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
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- Grammar- "It was, also, the day she'd chosen to die." Take all the commas out of this.
- "Protectively, she drew the child to her chest" You don't need to say protectively, we know that.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
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Hi Jimmy - According to Grammarly and Grammer check on google the commas are correct. As for the word Protectively, I had to use exactly 250 words. Thanks for taking the time to read the story. Smiles to you!
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
From a shocking revelation to a happy ending. Breathtaking. It is sad to learn about the incidents of an ever-increasing number of suicides in the world. Not every story ends with a happy ending. I like this well-written story. Good luck!
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
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From a shocking revelation to a happy ending. Breathtaking. It is sad to learn about the incidents of an ever-increasing number of suicides in the world. Not every story ends with a happy ending. I like this well-written story. Good luck!
Comment Written 19-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
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Good morning - Thanks for taking the time to read and comment on my story. I appreciate your kind comments very much. Smiles!
Comment from kahpot
Two lives saved from one catastrophy, I am not much of a story writer but enjoy reading, especially ones like this, what an excellent, uplifting story you have written, I can't help much with gramma or punctuation but to me this is wonderful, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
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Two lives saved from one catastrophy, I am not much of a story writer but enjoy reading, especially ones like this, what an excellent, uplifting story you have written, I can't help much with gramma or punctuation but to me this is wonderful, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
Comment Written 18-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2021
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Thank you for reading and enjoying my story. I appreciate you taking the time and for your kind words. I am honored to be graced with the stars as well. Smiles to you!
Comment from BethShelby
I like stories with happy ending. It's too late for the parents but Tess's plans changed forever. Now she had someone to how needed her. I think some people commit suicide when they no longer feel needed. This is good. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2021
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I like stories with happy ending. It's too late for the parents but Tess's plans changed forever. Now she had someone to how needed her. I think some people commit suicide when they no longer feel needed. This is good. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2021
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I like happy endings too! Guess I am never quite sure where my mind will take though. Glad this one turned a lot of bad things into a good one. Smiles!
Comment from lyenochka
That's a perfect reason to stop a suicide - seeing the importance of life and caring for another person's life! I think this could be the winner! Well told in just a short story.
My one suggestion for change is this passage:
"Her head lay against the dead man's shoulder. Her hand rested on his hand." With these two sentences and the prior sentence about the child's hand, there are a lot of pronouns all at once. Perhaps it would help to get a sense of the number of people seen? That's the only place that caused me to stop and re-read.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2021
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That's a perfect reason to stop a suicide - seeing the importance of life and caring for another person's life! I think this could be the winner! Well told in just a short story.
My one suggestion for change is this passage:
"Her head lay against the dead man's shoulder. Her hand rested on his hand." With these two sentences and the prior sentence about the child's hand, there are a lot of pronouns all at once. Perhaps it would help to get a sense of the number of people seen? That's the only place that caused me to stop and re-read.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2021
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Me too! Thanks, Helen - I too struggled with how it read, but I was rushed for time to get kids from school. I'll reread and see if I can change it. Appreciate the kind words and the input. Smiles!
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Great job then if you did it all in hurry! The message is what's really important.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
What a wonderful story! It reminds me that when God shuts a door he opens a window. This is definitely a win/win for both. I enjoyed reading this contest entry and wish you the best of luck.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2021
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What a wonderful story! It reminds me that when God shuts a door he opens a window. This is definitely a win/win for both. I enjoyed reading this contest entry and wish you the best of luck.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2021
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Thanks, Barbara. You are so right about God shutting a door and opening a window. I've been struggling lately, but thanks for reminding me to look for that open window. Smiles to you!
Comment from Susan Newell
And so you begin again. I like how this story shows how when all is apparently lost, something remains -- caring for others in worse situations. This is really a parable as much as a story.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2021
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And so you begin again. I like how this story shows how when all is apparently lost, something remains -- caring for others in worse situations. This is really a parable as much as a story.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2021
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Susan, thanks for reading and commenting. I believe I needed a gentle reminder that things might be tough but they could be much worse. You put a smile on my face and I'll send a few back to you. Thanks again!