Reviews from

Bluejay Fallen

They Neither Sow, Nor Do They Reap

52 total reviews 
Comment from damommy
Excellent
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First, congratulations on your win. I'm guilty of not keeping up with such things. I loved the story, and can understand what you are saying. Many times, a couple can love each other and still not be able to live together. That you remain friends is important, and I'm glad you have. What you did was better than remaining together and being miserable. I wonder if the bluejay was a sign?

 Comment Written 26-Feb-2021


reply by the author on 26-Feb-2021
    I have been wondering about that bluejay for years. I can only assume he died naturally of SBDS: Sudden Bluejay Death Syndrome. Thank you so much for reading and enjoying, Damommy!
reply by damommy on 26-Feb-2021
    Bless his heart. Do you know how rare it is to see a bird in the wild drop dead like that!!!
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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Well, you knew enough that part of Matthew to reference the sparrow falling and the counting of hairs but it doesn't explain how the poor bird just died. I guess you had some religious disagreements among other disagreements? It's a sad story but well told!
Congratulations on the win!

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2021


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
    Thank you, Lyenochka, for reading this (for a whole 2 cents)! I appreciate your kind words and of course the stars!
Comment from Father Flaps
Excellent
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Hi Jay,
I enjoyed your true story. But it's not the way I pictured the ending.
I have a few questions...
Whose idea was it to get together for lunch? I'm thinking it was Roseana's. She was the one who also suggested Jose's Brothers' Restaurant. I have to wonder why she would want to "get together" for a meal if the kids weren't going to be there, too. She seems a bit snippy.
I gave Roseana, who was grimacing at me, a sheepish grin. "I think we're ready to order."
You were more interested in finding out about Jose's involvement in the restaurant than talking to your ex-wife. And she was letting you know that you should drop it.
Then, later on, while waiting for your meals, you were more interested in the blackbirds and finches battling for a branch, "Civil war", "Darwinian struggle"... love that... than listening to her summarize the pastor's message that morning.
"Where've you been, Jay? His tuition's already been paid and a host family selected for him to live with. That's old news."
...snippy, snip-snip
If your daughter and son-in-law, and the "grands" were there, your focus (or lack of focus) wouldn't have been on each other. Things would have moved along more smoothly. But I think any diversion was a cry for help.
I really thought that one of the birds was going to do it... "yellow and white bombs spattered on an occasional enchilada or drizzling down a taco". But you fooled me... a blue jay dropped dead.
You were trying to make light of a bad situation.
"It could have been a heart attack," I suggested. "You hear of people dying at the wheel of their car." I waved my finger at the table. "Or over lunch."
and,
"It just happens. God blinked."
and,
"Or he was busy counting the hairs on someone's head."
But it upset your wife, and she left abruptly.
I think the Food Inspectors should make the Brothers cut down that old oak tree so the birds wouldn't be an issue... fighting battles above the diners, bombing the trays of food and white-coated waiters with yellow and pale snails, or dropping dead underfoot. But then there would be even less to preoccupy disenchanted lovers. I guess, when it's over, it's really over. There's no pretending.
An interesting true story here, Jay. Now, what did I miss?

Cheers,
Kimbob



 Comment Written 22-Feb-2021


reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
    You didn't miss a damn thing, Kimbob, LOL!

    I picked, from many true-life, personal, situations, instances where my behavior brought about her snippiness. Yes, she tended toward snippiness, but short of premenstrual magic (which I tended to explain away her barbs), there was the cause of her mildly hurtful remarks. It was less my involvement in discussing with the waiter where Jose was instead of spending more time with her... and more that my persistence was embarrassing her. Pursuing that, brings the subject to a level that I don't think would be appropriate to discuss in an open forum. Suffice it to say that she was easily embarrassed by me. And knowing that, caused me to suppress a lot that was spontaneous in me. There was some deep stuff worming around beneath the surface of her sniping and my setting her up to snipe.

    But yes, we're better this way, enjoying each other's company at family gatherings, by telephone, etc. with blocks of time separating everything.

    Thanks, as usual, Kimbob, for your astuteness. You are someone I could have used as a close friend when I was younger, to bounce ideas off and seek council with.
reply by Father Flaps on 23-Feb-2021
    and possibly a couple of cold lagers!
Comment from giraffmang
Excellent
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Hi Jay,

I get it when two folk spent so much time together things become shorthand. one of the danger of this is that real communication starts to falter. There is more of a familiarity than a sparking love after a while. Some folk treat it as something new or different and accept the status quo, for others it isn't enough and old disparities come to light more often.

It's just that I got very good at recognizing certain familiar landmarks along the conversational path she was taking so that I could wander off to my mental playground nearby, still being within earshot, to return to her path at the drop of a question mark.- that's a great sentence which shows a startling depth of familiarity.

G

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2021


reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
    Thank you, Gareth. You took away what I hoped the reader would and left us both some dignity.
Comment from RShipp
Excellent
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'That light had been flickering for years, like a lantern whose owner had been remiss in trimming the wick, and the oil could no longer leach up to the dying flame. ' A great analogy for no taking the time to care for a marriage relationship.

'all the tables were around the perimeter, two to three deep, like the band of a ring. ' His imagination had not yet accepted the fact that they were no longer 'one'? Good.

What a ending!!

Best of luck in the True Story Contest.

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2021


reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
    Many thanks, RShipp. I'm glad you enjoyed the ending.
Comment from judiverse
Excellent
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Hard to understand why you and Roseanna split. I was something was still there as I read this. Well, just the fact that you two met and seemed so comfortable. The appearance and fall of the blue jay really adds to the story. The fact that your name is Jay, too. Maybe your ex-wife saw an omen in it. Every detail in the story is well thought out. Excellent entry for the true story contest. judi

 Comment Written 21-Feb-2021


reply by the author on 21-Feb-2021
    What I didn't mention is that we met on Wednesday and were married on the following Wednesday. Statistics would say we should never have lasted 49 years 8 months.
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Excellent
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First, Jay, let me say after 49 years and almost to your 50th it took guts to sever the marriage. Most people would have the 50th first and then slyly, part. You wrote it well and the restaurant scenes with mega imagery were special.

This took my fancy...

That light had been flickering for years, like a lantern whose owner had been remiss in trimming the wick, and the oil could no longer leach up to the dying flame.

One day it was simply dark. We could no longer find each other.

Ralf

 Comment Written 21-Feb-2021


reply by the author on 21-Feb-2021
    Yeah, the 50th is when the kids usually spring for a voyage or some such dandy prize. I'm glad you were moved by the story. If I had half the integrity of purpose you had in making your marriage work, we'd probably have stayed together and worked it out. Again, thanks for reading and for the stars.
reply by Raffaelina Lowcock on 22-Feb-2021
    I would add, that I'm glad you still (hope I'm right) connect and are friends. The profound thing as we age is the deep support we are to each other. And, also as we age our needs are fewer, our demands are different. Just being in the same room, sometimes, is all we need.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
    Your wisdom is deep. And yes, (though the Pandemic has put the kibosh on it), we hug, cheek-kiss, attend all the family functions, and are cordial. Since we haven't divorced, she still handles the necessary paperwork. (She has bookkeeping and tax skills.) When I die, I want her at my bedside. I believe she feels the same about me. Some won't understand that.
Comment from roof35
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I actually read this on Saturday but had to wait until today to write the review. I had no sixes left and I could not give you anything less for this post. It is definitely outstanding.

 Comment Written 21-Feb-2021


reply by the author on 21-Feb-2021
    You've made my day, Roof. Thank you so very much!
Comment from Ulla
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi, Jay, this is a brilliant write and a very bitter sweet story. It's maybe hard to understand, but I know where both of you are coming from. And I can see, while you both love each other, you cannot quite live together. I think you came to this lunch with the hope of something more. But it was not to be.
It's a superb write and you set the scene brilliantly. I was there with both of you. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 21-Feb-2021


reply by the author on 21-Feb-2021
    Ulla, your review was written from the heart. Thank you for that. And yes, there were hopes of some sort of reconciliation on my part. I think Roseana knew me too well, though, to have let that happen. Again, thank you for your kindness and the lovely six!
reply by Ulla on 21-Feb-2021
    Actually, I'm a twice over divorcee, the last one only a couple of years ago. We are still very good friends. I just can't live with any of them. They've both remarried and their wives are my friends, as well. An ideal situation. LOL
Comment from Pierre Mitchell
Excellent
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There's a vivid picture of the scenes. I found the storytelling well done, very smooth. The transition of events is not conflicting. It was written by a veteran writer. It is usual for old folks and even for young couples to argue but when I read the end part, you may correct me on this, it seems like Roseana fears death but could not easily open it up to Jay.

 Comment Written 21-Feb-2021


reply by the author on 21-Feb-2021
    Now that's an interesting thought, Pierre. Sometimes as I write a piece I am not aware of deeper, shaded meanings. I will give that some serious consideration, Pierre. There may be some truth in it. Thank you for your kindness and the stars.